


Missing Scenes for Season Two

by danaheeroduomax



Series: Mutation Series [4]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Language, M/M, Mutation, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Suicide Attempt, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 82,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danaheeroduomax/pseuds/danaheeroduomax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are the scenes that either happened in the show that wasn't in the chapters, from my story in the series or that happened to the characters but we didn't get to see it on the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missing Scenes to What Lies Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or anything with the show. Just having fun with them.
> 
> A/N: Bold print is third person view.

Signing Off

 Rick's POV

 

I got up early and walked to the edge of the highway that was close to a suburban area we’d chosen to stay at the last couple of nights, while we regrouped and downsized our convoy.   There was a guardrail overlooking Atlanta, I crouched near it as I pulled out my walkie-talkie and tried to get in touch with Morgan again.

“I guess I’m losing hope that you can hear.  But there’s always that chance, isn’t there?  That slim chance.  It’s all about slim chances now.  I tried to do everything right, keep people safe.  I tried, Morgan.  I tried.  Our groups smaller now, we lost another day before last.  It was her choice, I won’t say I blame her, but she lost faith.  The C.D.C. was a dead end; I met a man there, a scientist.”  I walked over to the edge of the rail and looked out.

“He told me something, he told me…”  I clicked off for a second before turning my back to the city and continued.  “It doesn’t matter.  What matters is we’re moving on, Atlanta’s done.  We’re gonna try for Fort Benning.  We’re facing a long hard journey, maybe even harder than I can imagine.  But it can’t be harder than our journey’s been so far.  Can it?”

“A hundred and twenty-five miles—that’s what lies ahead.  And I’m trying hard not to lose faith.  I can’t.  If I do, the others…my family, my wife…my son.  There’s just a few of us now.  So we’ve got to stick together, fight for each other, be willing to lay down our lives for each other if it comes to that.  It’s the only chance we’ve got.  Be careful out there, Morgan.  I hope you and Duane are okay.  Stay off the road.  Keep moving.  Keep your eyes open, I don’t know, just—just be safe.  Maybe we’ll see you in Fort Benning someday.  Rick signing off.”  I clicked off and headed back to the rest so we could get going down the highway to Fort Benning.

* * *

 

That’s a Promise

 Lori's POV

 

Rick was driving; I was in the passenger seat.  Carl, Carol and Sophia were in the back when I spoke up.  “Just thinking about our trip to the Grand Canyon with Carl.”  Rick started laughing as he tapped the wheel and put his elbow on the window; we’d rolled them down to give us a nice breeze, trying to save the battery for as long as we could.

“I don’t remember that.”   Carl said from behind me, Sophia was next to him and Carol had the window seat behind Rick.

“No, you wouldn’t you were just a baby.  And besides, we never made it past Fort Worth.”  I told him.

“No, you got sick.  I never knew a baby could throw up so much.”  Rick finished explaining as we started laughing.

“Ick.”  Carl said.

“Yeah, ick.”  I agreed.  “The doctor in Texas said you’d live.  Then we turned around and drove home.”  I finished as I looked at Rick before looking out the window.

“That sucks.”  Carl said.

“No, it was a good trip.”  I told him.

“The best.”  Rick agreed as he glanced at me.

“Can we go see it?  The Grand Canyon?”  Carl asked.  “I’d like to.”

“I would too.”  Sophia seconded.  “Can we go?”  She asked.

“We’d never go without you and your mom.”  Rick said as he looked back at them.  “That’s a promise.”   He turned his attention back to the road.  I reached my hand back and took Carols who smiled at Sophia as she laid her head down on her mother’s shoulder.

* * *

 

Starting To Get a Bad Feeling

 Glenn's POV

 

It was quite, I was sitting in the passenger seat as Dele drove the R.V.  Shane and Andrea were sitting at the table while he cleaned his gun.  T-Dog was in the back.  I was rubbing my stomach absent mindedly as I watched Daryl in front of us on his Harley.

“Looks complicated.”  I heard Andrea say.  I looked back and saw she was watching Shane clean his gun.

“The trick is getting all these pieces back together the same way.”  Shane explained.  “I could clean yours, show you how.”  He suggested.  He bent down to the bag of guns at his feet and pulled out Andrea’s pistol, cocked it and aimed it, keeping his finger off the trigger.  “Oh yeah.”  He said as he looked down the barrel.  “It’s a sweet piece.”  Shane commented as he rested it on his lap.

“It was a gift from my father.  He gave it to me just before Amy and I took off on our road trip.  He said two girls on their own should be able to defend themselves.”  She informed him.

I looked back at the road as they continued to talk.  “Smart man, your father.  Look, it’s a—it’s a limited capacity.  See?  Only holds seven rounds.”  Shane instructed before he was interrupted by Dale.

“Oh jeez.”  I saw it too, it wasn’t good.

“Oh, no.”  I said as I looked at the eighteen wheeler on its side, it wasn’t the only problem we were facing.  T-Dog who’d been came up front at that time so he could see what was wrong, the road was covered in cars, and Dale slowed to a stop.

Daryl who had gone on ahead of us was coming back; he stopped next to Dale’s window.  Dale looked out and asked.  “See a way through?”

He nodded and tossed his headed back then drove to Rick’s station wagon behind us, before coming around to and start leading us through.  As Daryl left Dale started on again slowly, I was looking at the map as I suggested.

“Uh, maybe we should just go back.  There’s an interstate bypass—”

“We can’t spare the fuel.”  Dale interrupted.  Shane was leaning on Dale’s seat now so he could see better.

There were so many cars abandoned, some flipped others on the side of the road it looked like a lot of chaos went on here.  I was starting to get a bad feeling about this as I saw Daryl ahead of us leading the way.

“Jeez.”  I said when my stomach grumbled.  I was hungry and thirsty, but I didn’t say anything or comment on it.  Some of the cars weren’t empty as we noticed a few dead bodies.  Then Dale’s radiator hose blew on us as the engine died.

* * *

 

Highway Dale’s POV

 

I opened the grill to my engine as Glenn came back after going to get a screw driver like I’d asked.  If there was anywhere to break down a highway covered in abandoned cars would be the best place to do it.  He held two out.  “Which one?”  He asked.

“The flathead.”  I told him as I took it from his hand leaving the Philips head. “Radiator hose clamp is always a flathead.”  I instructed.  “Here, you do it.”  I said as I handed him the flathead back, the boy had to learn sometime, especially if he wanted to survive and provide for himself and the kid growing inside him.

He took the flathead and passed me the Philips head as I gave him a blue bandanna to serve as his grease rag.  “Learn something.”  I patted his back as I walked to the back end and climbed the ladder up to the roof of my R.V. to keep watch.

For a few minutes it was quite and everything was going good.  I saw Shane find a water truck, I could hear their laughter as Shane doused himself it what these days was considered better than gold.

I turned around slowly then something caught my eye; I wasn’t sure at first as I brought the binoculars up and took a closer look.  But it was a walker, then a second one.  I looked further and soon I saw dozens, looked like a whole herd was headed our way.  I pulled the binoculars away, as I slowly got on my knees then down on my belly to lay flat.

I stayed still for a couple of minutes as Rick had ran to the others and got them under cars, that is until I heard Andrea below me, as I looked through the window above the bathroom I saw her.  She was sitting on the ground as a walker was trying to get at her through the door, she was keeping it closed with her feet, but it wasn’t holding very well.  She had pieces of a gun on a blue rag in her lap; otherwise she was completely unarmed; she looked up at me with both anger and terror in her eyes.  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the Philips head screwdriver I’d taken from Glenn earlier and busted the screen with it before dropping it down to her; she caught it, and gripped the handle with both hands before she jumped up and attacked the walker.

It was several minutes when I heard Sophia screaming, I looked and saw her run into the woods being chased by two walkers, Rick wasn’t far behind as he followed them.  I headed off my R.V. to where the rest were starting to gather at the guardrail.

* * *

 

Highway Glenn’s POV

 

Dale left me with the flathead screw driver and radiator hose that I was to take out.  I didn’t think about the steam as I coughed while unscrewing the clamps.  I probably shouldn’t have been doing that in my condition, but it didn’t hurt me or what was growing inside me, I just had to be a little more careful, then and in the future should Daryl and I decide to grow our family.

“Shane.”  I called, he’d been keeping watch along with Rick, he turned to me and I showed him the hose I’d just detached from the engine.  He nodded and I headed off with hose in one hand and screw driver in the other to the cars to see if I could find a matching one to replace it, Shane followed behind with his shot gun just in case.

There was a white van with its hood propped up that looked like it might have a match for us.  I was trying to get the screws to come loose that was keeping the radiator hose connected to this van.  “Come on.”  I muttered as Shane walked to a delivery truck right behind us or in front depending on the direction we were facing.

He set his shotgun down as he rushed to the side of the truck.  I heard the sound of him opening the side when he called.  “Glenn.”  I stopped as I looked at him.  “Were we short on water?”  He asked.

He popped one of the many water containers on the truck and doused himself, I smiled as I laughed and finally got the screw the give, Shane was laughing too.

“Hey, save me some!”  I told him.  There were over a dozen full containers; it was great, the first sign that our luck might be changing.  If only.

“It’s like being baptized, man.”  Shane said as he doused himself again.

I was almost done when suddenly Shane grabbed me and pushed me down.  “Ow.”  I said as I scraped my knee on the road as I got on my stomach and crawled under the car.  Shane rolled in next to me.  “What?”  I asked as I looked out between the wheels.

“Shh.”  He told me.

I realized why he pushed me under here when I saw the legs of many, many walkers as they passed by.  I placed my hand at my belly as I thought of Daryl; I hoped and prayed that he was safe.  I know now that if there’s anyone that can survive this world it’s Daryl.

“Shit.”  I mumbled, Shane looked at me with a ‘what’s wrong’ expression.  “I have to throw up.”  I whispered to him.  Shane shook his head at me, now was not the time for my morning sickness to rear its ugly head.  I moved on my side to relieve the pressure on my stomach, Shane did the same putting his back to mine as he grabbed his shot gun.

I closed my eyes then and breathed the best I could what with the stench of death filling my nostrils.  I tried to will my mind to go anywhere but the present.  Like my first kiss, my first date, when I first realized I was in love.  Who knew it’d be a zombie apocalypse that led me to my soul mate, if you believe in such things.

I opened my eyes as their noises were getting further off.  I looked around and saw the legs were gone, I didn’t get out yet as I waited.  I had tears in my eyes as I tried not to cry when I realized that this would be our baby’s life, hiding under cars or running scared, afraid they’d get eaten if I ever let it out of my sight.  I placed my hand on my stomach for a few minutes before we started to come out of hiding, we heard Sophia start to scream and headed that way in time to see Rick disappear into the woods.

* * *

 

Highway Andrea’s POV

 

I headed to a truck, I saw a pink and black bag unzipped, next to it was a pink backpack with a name on it I forget what name it was a girl is what I could gather from the color.  And a baby bottle, I gasped as I looked around, there had been milk still in that bottle.  It made me think of Glenn and the impossible these mutations pull off.  Then fear crept up on me, what if Glenn is unable to protect his kid, what if Daryl’s not cut out to be a father.  The man was barely civilized as it was.

I walked back to the R.V. as I saw Glenn and Shane go off to find a replacement part, Rick was standing outside with a riffle in hand, it was good to be armed and ready, Dale was on top with his binoculars keeping a bird’s eye view.

I remembered there were guns inside that were still in pieces.  I figured might as well try and figure out how to put them back together.  I sat at the table and saw all the pieces scattered on it.  “Okay.”  I told myself as I got started.

I grabbed pieces and looked at them as I tried to figure out in my head what a gun looked like all together then tried to recreate that look.

I was oblivious to what was going on outside the R.V., I had no idea that walkers were out there, just passing me as I was trying to figure out this gun.  That is until I heard something; I lifted my head and looked outside the window and at the dozens of walkers.  I panicked as I got on the floor.  “Oh, God.”   I whispered.

Suddenly a walker’s arm entered the R.V. from the open door.  I reached up and grabbed the rag that the gun parts had been laying on wrapped up the gun and started scooting back to the bathroom, where I set the gun in my lap and closed the door.  But because this was an R.V. it didn’t have a real door more like a partition that was a flimsy excuse at best.

I rested against the wall across from the door and opened the rag, I started trying to put the gun back together with no luck.  I could hear its snarls and growls outside the door, which was making my breath quicken and hands shake.  I paused in my movements not wanting to alert it to my presence.

I heard it shuffle passed and started working on the gun again telling myself it was okay, as I tried to calm my racing heart.  Suddenly as I tried to fit the pieces together they all clanged together rather loudly.  “Shit.”  I mumbled.

I sat against the wall and propped my feet up against the door to keep it shut as I heard snarling right outside.  Suddenly it was pushing at the partition and I started screaming.  I screamed more as I saw its arm get inside; I didn’t want to die not like this.

I looked up as it was pushing to get in and saw Dale’s face looking down at me through the partly open window.  This was his fault; I wouldn’t be her now, I would no longer be scared if he hadn’t put me in that situation back at the C.D.C.  I was so angry at him and so terrified at the walker outside the door.

He broke the screen with a screw driver as he dropped it to me; I’d reached up and caught as he let it go.  Then held it by the handle as the walker was looking in at me pushing at the door.

I cried as I realized what I had to do in order to live.  I let the door go and jumped to my feet as the walker pushed open the partition.  I ran at him thrusting the screw driver into the walkers eye, it came at me again I pulled out the driver and did it again, then pushed him to the ground and continued to stab it into the walkers head spraying blood on my neck and face as I cried until it stopped moving.

Then I backed away from it still crying in fear and anger.  I cried and whimpered as the walkers moved off, I was jittery there on the floor covered in blood as my hand continued to tap on the fridge that was to my left, my other hand was braced on the wall as I tried to get my racing heart to settle down, and tell my mind that the threat was over, before I slowly stood up.  And joined the rest outside.

* * *

 

Highway Lori’s POV

 

Carl and I headed to look through the cars, I wanted to keep him close, I felt like we were grave robbing here, but the others I guess didn’t think that way.  Even after I mentioned it no one spoke up to agree, they just started to ransack what use to belong to someone living who was now most likely dead, or undead.

I walked up to the driver’s side of a car and bent down to look in, and there in the passenger seat was a dead body, one that didn’t come back, there were flies buzzing all over her.  I stood up and continued on, Carol had joined me as she looked in after I did.

“Kid’s, don’t look.”  Carol said.

For several minutes we went about looking in different vehicles, I had started looking through a van when Rick suddenly showed up telling me to get under the car.  I ran alongside the van to Carol, grabbed her wrist as she was headed for the kids.  I pulled her down.

“Carl and Sophia.  Sophia.”  She whispered panicked as I covered her mouth.

“Shh, shh.  Get under.”  I told her pushing her under the van.

Rick was watching us on his back under a car not far from the one we were hiding under.   He saw me trying to keep Carol quite as she was crying in fear for her baby.  He put his hand out in a stay there manner.  For several minutes we stayed there until we thought it was safe.  Sophia started to come out from under her car when two walkers appeared and they chased her into the woods, Rick followed.  We ran to the guardrail I grabbed Carol to keep her from chasing after them as the rest of the group joined us.

* * *

 

Highway Carol’s POV

 

While the others were siphoning gas and looking for a radiator hose I found a car with clothes in it.  I saw this red blouse that was real pretty.  I picked it up and placed it over me and looked down as I held it, it looked like it might fit.  I looked up and saw Lori watching me from a neighboring car.

I started folding it up and putting it back as I explained.  “Ed, never let me wear nice things like this.”  I closed up the suit case and started pulling it from the car.  “We’re gonna need clothes.”  I walked to the car where Lori had been standing as I looked at the flash lights and basket of possible useable items.

Lori walked to the car I was just at then stopped as she addressed her son who was standing close by with my daughter.  “Hey, Carl.  Always within my sight, okay?”  Carl nodded.

“You too, Sophia.”  I told her.  Then got back to looking for clothes or anything else that would be useful, we did that for several minutes until Rick showed up and told the kids to get down.  I tried to get to Sophia but Lori grabbed me and pulled me under a van.

I laid there with Lori as I looked around and saw Sophia on her stomach clutching her doll under a car not far from us.  I kept my eye on her as we waited; I covered my mouth terrified what was going to happen.  Lori helped as she wrapped her arm around me holding her hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t alert the walkers to us.

They moved off, the walkers just stumbled right passed us; I wiped the tears that had fallen on my cheeks.  It was quite for a few minutes, I saw Sophia start to crawl out from under her car when a walker appeared and she started screaming as she scooted to the other side.

Lori covered my mouth again to keep me from speaking as I cried for my little girl.  I saw the walker down on the ground trying to get to her, I reached my hand out wanting to get my daughter when Lori grabbed my arm with her other hand and kept me from doing anything.  I screamed into her hand as I watched.

I saw Sophia crawl out from under the truck and she started to run down a small incline into some woods while two walkers were chasing her, my baby girl.   Rick chased after them, as I followed him to the guardrail where Lori grabbed him and held me as I cried while the rest of the group joined us.

* * *

 

Highway Rick’s POV

 

I was at the back of the R.V. and using Dale’s binoculars keeping an eye out for anything that might threaten us, back then I thought walkers were the biggest threat, and for a while they were, but ask me now, I’d tell you it would be humans.  There are two things that can happen to a person during an apocalypse, they’ll either show the best of humanity, or the worst.  I’ve experienced plenty of both.

Dale walked up to me, I handed him the binoculars, he took them then headed on top of his R.V. as I reasserted my hold on the riffle I’d grabbed after everyone started to split up.

Andrea and I passed each other as she headed inside, I looked up at Dale.  “It’s all good.”  He told me as he looked through his binoculars again.  I walked back and forth for several minutes when I turned and saw something, I brought my riffle up looking through the scope to get a closer look.

I saw it, a walker, it appeared to be just one; I lowered my gun as I loaded a shot into the chamber.  I steadied it against my shoulder and looked through the scope again as I aimed, I was about to fire when another walker appeared from behind a truck.  I aimed at the second one as I put my finger on the trigger.

I was going to shot when another showed up, I moved the scope and soon it was filled with walkers.  I took it down and saw them, dozens headed our way.  “Oh Christ.”  I gasped as I got down behind a flipped car, I saw Dale getting down to lay flat on the roof when I ran off to warn the rest.

I weaved through cars until I saw my wife; she was looking through a van at the time.  “Lori, under the cars.”  I whispered urgently, as she turned to me.  She moved to obey immediately.  I looked at the kids.  “Carl, Sophia get down now.”  I ordered leaving no room to argue, I saw the kids run for the cars.

I got under a truck that was next to the vehicle Carl dove under.  I was on my back as I looked and saw Lori with Carol across from me.

I looked at Carl as we saw the feet shuffling passed us, he moved further under the car.  I put my hand up in a stay put manner and then put my finger to my mouth so he’d be quite.  We were all scared.

I kept my eyes on Carl as the last of the herd walked passed us, I looked up at Lori and Carol, we were all safe, and we were going to be okay, at least I thought we would be.

I didn’t hear anything for a few minutes, it sounded safe, I looked at Carl, he smiled at me, and I felt relieved as well.  Until I saw Sophia start to come out from under her car.  There was a growl as a straggling walker showed up, Sophia started sobbing and screaming as it came at her.  The walker got down and tried to reach for her as she scooted away.

I looked around; then grabbed my riffle I’d kept by me. The walker was crawling under the car after her as she screamed and cried while crawling to the other side until she could get to her feet.  I noticed a second walker going around to the other side of the car where Sophia was crawling from.  I saw her get up then headed down the hill into the woods, the two walkers chasing her.

I got to my feet riffle in hand, I gave chase after her.  I ran to the guardrail and jumped over, I headed down the incline when I tripped and rolled the rest of the way, once I came to a stop I got to my feet and ran into the woods, I left my riffle where I’d dropped it.

I got into the woods as I heard Sophia; I turned and saw her running, the two walkers right behind.  I headed around to get her from the front.  I had my right hand on my pistol as I ran.

I stopped for a second as I saw the walkers; I didn’t stay long as they didn’t have to catch their breath.  She fell as I was getting close and just as she got back to her feet and was about to run again I caught her.  I got to my knee as I tried to calm her down.

“Are you all right?  Are you okay?”  I asked.

“Shoot them!”  She screamed as she reached for my pistol still in its holster.

I pulled her back as I said.  “No, no!”  I had her look at me as I continued.  “Those walkers on the road would hear it.   Then it wouldn’t be just two, it’d be hundreds.”  I told her.  “Come here, come on.”  I said as I picked her up and started running again.  She had one arm around my neck her other holding her doll close.

I saw a creek bed.  “All right, just hold here.”  I told her as I set her down.  I jumped into the water.  “You stay there, wait.”  I turned then and said.  “Come on.”  She reached down as I grabbed her around the waist, she wrapped her legs and arms around me as I turned and looked around until I saw a good place for her to hide.

I ran to a burrow in the creek it had branches covering it.  I set her on the ground again as I said.   “Sophia, you have to do exactly as I say.  Hide in there, squeeze in tight, I’ll draw them away from you.”

“No, no, don’t leave me.”  She begged in a panic.

I grabbed her wrists as I said.   “Listen, listen, listen.  They don’t get winded I do, I can only deal with them one at a time, I wouldn’t be able to protect you.”  I put my hands on her face comfortingly as I continued.  “This is how we both survive, you understand?”  She nodded.  “Okay?  Go, go, go, go.” She turned and crouched down into the burrow.

I could hear them coming, I bent down as she looked at me.  “If I don’t make it back, run back to the highway, back to the others straight the way we came.  Keep the sun on your left shoulder.”  I instructed, touching my shoulder so she’d understand; then stood as I saw them.

I backed away, they stood at the edge.  “Come on.”  I told them as I threw water in their direction.  They just growled at me.  “You ugly son of a bitch, come on!”  I screamed at ‘em.  Finally one stumbled in landing on his front in the water, I backed away.  He started getting up.  “Come on!”  I screamed at ‘em again.

The other one headed around the creek bed while the first one started after me as I headed deeper into the creek leading them away from Sophia.

Every few steps I’d look at him and egg ‘em on to keep following me.  I stumbled and fell face first into the water.  I crawled away as I tried to get to my feet, while the first one still chased me.

I got to my feet and looked back to see the second one catching up.  “Come on!”  I screamed as I ran full out.  I stopped as I didn’t see them, but I could hear them, I figured this was a good enough spot to fight back.  I looked around the small clearing and saw a rather nice sized rock, I picked it up with ease, it looked heavy certainly didn’t feel it though.

I hid behind a tree as I heard the first one stumble into the clearing; he was getting closer to me.  I braced the rock with both hands so it’d be a better impact with the guy’s head.  Once he was a few steps closer I came out of hiding and hit him in the cheek with the rock, it threw him back, as I saw the second one walking into the clearing.

The first one fell to the ground on his back, I knelt over him and with the rock in hand I used all my strength and hit him with it, the head smashed in as brain matter flew out of the top of his skull.

I stood back up as the second one got closer, I prepared my rock, then threw it as hard as I could, it took the walkers head clean off, as his body fell and its head rolled away with the rock stuck to its blood splattered face.

I was sure they were both not coming back as I headed to the ditch where I’d left Sophia.  I was tired and bloody, wet and sweaty as I got to the ditch.  I looked in and didn’t see her.  “Sophia.”  I looked around, I headed back to the highway hoping that’s where she’d gone, as I had instructed.

* * *

 

A Herd

 Dale's POV

 

After Glenn and Shane got back, Glenn headed to look through more cars for food and water while Shane gave direction and order.  He did inform us that Daryl and Rick were on Sophia’s trail and should be back hopefully before nightfall.  Shane decided that when we got Sophia back we’d turn around and go through the bypass like Glenn had suggested before the R.V. broke down.  So Shane and Andrea started getting cars off the road.  Shane used the station wagon to push the cars, while Andrea took hold of the wheels and steered them into the small ditch that separated the coming from the going.

Carol was staying near the guardrail as she watched and waited for Daryl and Rick to get back with Sophia.  I turned and continued to work on getting the radiator hose attached to the R.V. at least making it look like that was what I was doing.

Carol walked up to me a few seconds later as Shane backed the station wagon up and parked.  “Why aren’t we all out there looking?  Why are we moving cars?”  She asked.

“We have to clear enough room so I can get the R.V. turned around as soon as it’s running.”  I explained, as Shane turned the station wagon off and got out.  “Now that we have fuel we can double back to a bypass that Glenn flagged on the map.”  I finished as Shane walked up and stood next to her.

“Going back’s going to be easier than trying to get through this mess.”  Shane said as the rest were coming back with food, water battles, clothes and other necessity’s like toiletry items.

“We’re not going anywhere till my daughter gets back.”  Carol told him.

“Hey, that goes without saying.”  Lori said as she walked up and placed her hand on Carol’s arm comfortingly.

“Rick and Daryl, they’re on it, okay?  Just a matter of time.”  Shane told her.

“Can’t be soon enough for me.”  Andrea said as she and Glenn walked up to us, she tossed Glenn a water bottle, and as she uncapped her bottle she said.  “I’m still freaked out from that herd that passed us by, or whatever you’d call it.”  She took a sip.

“Yeah, what was that?  All of them just marching along like that.”  Glenn asked as he uncapped his bottle.

“A herd.  That sounds about right.  We’ve seen it.  It’s like the night camp got attacked, some wandering pack, only fewer.”  Shane explained.  He cleared his throat before continuing.  “Okay.  Come on people, we still got a lot to do.  Let’s stay on it, let’s go, come on.”  He walked away, Glenn followed while he drank, and Carol went back to the guardrail and waited.

* * *

 

Successful

 Carl's POV

 

While the rest were finding food and clothes, I saw a truck and looked in to see a black rolled up tool bag that had an axe or hatchet sticking out of it resting against some dead guy.  I wanted that hatchet.

I got down and walked around to the driver’s side where the guy was.  I reached for the handle of the door and pushed on the handle, it took a couple of tries but it finally released and I pulled it open.  The guy was belted in, his arm dangling limply there, and he stunk.  Over time I got use to the smell.

I grabbed the wheel using it for leverage as I reached in for the tool bag on his other side.   It wouldn’t budge so I let go of the wheel and grabbed it with both hands and pulled.  I just wasn’t tall enough so I let the tools go and stepped up into the truck getting closer to the dead guy.

I grabbed it firmly with both hands and tugged, it was really stuck as I only got a few inches of it.   I moved my left hand to the back of it and yanked again.  It loosened up, then suddenly the dead guy fell toward me I shrieked as I fell back on the ground, he was trapped by the seat belt as he just laid there not moving.  I looked at the guy, and then at the tool bag in my arms, I had been successful.

I stood up and ran off to show Shane what I’d found, he was at some car fixing it or taking it apart not sure which.

* * *

 

Leaving

 Shane's POV

 

I had come to the decision that I needed to leave, so I found a car that was in pretty good shape, it was a small Honda that just needed a few engine repairs.  I was under the hood with my wrench when I heard Carl calling my name.  I looked up as he came into view and his mother ran up to him.

“Carl, what happened?”  She asked him.

“Mom, I found something cool.” Carl said as he ran around the car to me.  He placed the tool bag on the ground and started to unroll it as he said.  “Shane, check it out.”  It was filled with sharp objects that could be used to defend ourselves against walkers.  “It’s an arsenal.”   Carl said as I had yet to speak.

“That’s cool, bud, go give ‘em to Dale.”  I instructed as I continued to work on the car.

“Check this one out.”  Carl said as he pulled one of the weapons from the bag.  “Whoa, it’s a hatchet.”

“Be careful, don’t play with those.”  Lori said as she started walking up to him.

“They’re really sharp.”  He said making slashing motions with it.

“What did I just say?”  Lori was irritated that Carl wasn’t listening to her.

“Can I keep one?”  Carl asked her.

“Are you crazy?”   Lori asked as she reached down and took it from him.

“No way.  Shane, Shane, tell her to let me keep one.”  He said, Lori bent down to put the hatchet back.  I was getting annoyed that he hadn’t done what I said.

I looked at him.  “Hey, man, go give them all to Dale now.  Go.”  There was clear disappointment on his face as he took the rolled up bag from Lori and headed to the R.V.  I finished with the car then put the hood down as Lori addressed me.

“What was that?”  She asked.

“What was what?”  I asked like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“The way you blew him off just now, you crushed him.”

I was putting opened the front door on the driver’s side as she finally looked at me, I didn’t say anything to her.

“I don’t believe you; you’re giving me the cold shoulder?”  She asked.  Lori was unbelievable the girl couldn’t make up her mind if her life depended on it.  She wanted me gone well I was leaving, but she wanted me to stay as well.  Right then I wasn’t in the mood with her yo-yoing back and forth, my muscles were hurting and I figured it was time I split.

“Isn’t that what you want?  Aren’t you the one who said stay the hell away from him _and_ you?”  I asked her.

“You forget what happened at the C.D.C.?  Your little meltdown in the rec room slip your mind?”  She asked as she put her hands on her hips.  “When you tried—”

“When I tried to what?”  I interrupted as I walked up to her.  “What do you think that was?”

“I think it is pretty plain what that was.”

“A mistake, one that I admit to.  I have a few mistakes under my belt, Lori.   So do you.”  I turned and walked back to the car.

“No debate there.  But Shane, we need to stop this.”

“Why do you think I’m prepping my new ride?  I’m leaving.”  I placed my arm on the car door with wrench in hand, my other hand on the roof as I looked at her.

“Leaving?”  She sounded shocked, surprised, maybe a little devastated.

“As in gone for good.  Gonna quietly slip away first change I get.”  I sat in the driver’s seat and turned the engine on.  The car came to life along with the radio.

 _“The emergency alert system has been activated.  The Office of Civil Defense has issued the following message: Normal broadcasting will cease immediately.”_   I got out of the car as it continued.  “ _This is a civil emergency—”_

Glenn, Dale and Andrea came up to us then as they heard it.  “Is that a local signal?”  Glenn asked.

“It’s got to be within fifty miles of here.”  Dale said.

 _“Avoid anyone infected at all costs.  Remain calm.  Help is on the way.  The emergency alert system has been activated.  The Office of Civil De—”_ I reached in and shut it off as it started to repeat itself.

“Asshole.”  I muttered.  I sighed before hitting the roof and telling the others.  “Okay, let’s get back to work.”  As they walked off I went around to the trunk grabbing a tan suitcase as I went, I opened the trunk and stuffed the case inside, then slammed the trunk shut.

* * *

 

Lame Excuse

 Andrea's POV

 

I walked up to Carol where she’d been standing most of the day waiting for Daryl and Rick to get back.  The sun was setting so the scavenging was coming to an end for the day, we’d found water, food, clothes some toys that Carl and Sophia could play with, when they brought Sophia back that is.  I was hopeful, Daryl was the best tracker I knew, okay he was the only tracker any of us knew, he’d bring her back.

She looked at me as I put my hand on her back comfortingly.  “It’s late, gonna be dark soon.”

“They’ll find her.”  I told her as I looked out at the woods.  She nodded; I turned and headed to where Dale was still fiddling with his engine, I needed to discuss a problem.  I had gone looking for my pistol where I’d left it a little while ago, and it was gone, along with the bag of guns.

I stopped next to Dale; Glenn had been standing behind Dale in case he needed help.  “Where’s my gun?”  I asked, he looked at me then back at the engine.  “You have no right to take it.”  I told him as Glenn walked away from this conversation.

“You don’t need that just now, do you?”  He asked me.

“My father gave it to me, it’s mine.”

“I can hold onto it for you.”

“Or you can give it back to me.”

Shane walked up to us then as he noticed our discussion.  “Everything cool?”

“No, I want my gun back.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”  Dale told him.

“Why not?”  Shane asked him.

Dale turned and faced Shane as he explained.  “I’m not comfortable with it.”  I scoffed at that as I shook my head.

“The truth is, less guns we have floating around camp the better.”  I couldn’t believe he was agreeing with Dale.

“You turning over your weapon?”  I asked irritated.

He chuckled as he replied.  “No.  But I’m trained in its use.  That’s what the rest of y’all need is proper training.  But until that time I think its best if Dale keeps them all accounted for.”

I scoffed again at that lame excuse.  “Uh-huh.”  I said as I licked my lips and turned away walking back to Carol.

I heard Shane ask.  “Mind telling me what that’s about?”  He never got an answer as Glenn said.

“Oh God, they’re back.”  He set a plastic container that had food in it on the pavement with a clunk before rushing over with the others.

* * *

 

Decent

 Rick's POV

 

As I walked away from Carol and the rest of the group between the cars that covered the road, I kept thinking and repeating the day, things I could’ve done differently but didn’t, it was a never ending cycle.  My thoughts kept going back to the fact that they were doubting me, my ability to care for this group.  Sophia was just one more mistake; I failed so many people in such a short amount of time that I was starting to lose faith in myself.

Sophia was just the beginning of my decent into self-doubt and insanity, losing the man I was, the harder the choices became the further I got from him, the man before the coma, the man before we lost Merle, Amy, Jim, Jacqui _and_ Sophia.  I didn’t sleep most of the night, and the sleep I did get was restless.  The only good thing at that point was my wife and son, and the trust I was building between myself and Daryl, who’d end up be the most loyal of them all. 

* * *

 

Worried About Sophia

 Carl's POV

 

Shane took the rear as we headed into the woods back to the creek to search for Sophia.  Me and Mom were just ahead of him when I stopped and waited for him.

“Shane, look.  Dad said I could carry it and mom said as long as I was—” I was trying to show him the knife they’d given me, but he seemed angry at me.

“Keep it down, we’re looking for Sophia.”  He told me gruffly.  “We need to focus on the task.”  He turned to look behind us, make sure no walkers were around.  I hung my head as mom stopped and put her hand on my back as Shane fell back some to watch our backs better I guess.

“Got to keep up.”  She told me.  “You okay?”  She asked as she dropped her hand back at her side

“I think Shane’s mad at me.  Did I do something wrong?”  I asked looking at her.

“No.  No, honey, I promise you.”  She looked at Shane who was facing front again.  “He’s just—he’s worried about Sophia, that’s all.  Come on.”  She placed her hand on my back and guided me closer to the group with Shane trailing behind.

* * *

 

Needs-Of-The-Many

T-Dog's POV

 

Dale was on top of the R.V. keeping watch, I had stayed behind to help and with my arm I didn’t want to risk attracting any more walkers.  A blue rag had been folded up and strapped over my wound; it had stopped the bleeding so I wasn’t worried about that any more.

I walked back after grabbing a bottle of water and saw him up there looking through his binoculars.  “Ain’t you supposed to be fixing that radiator?”  I asked him.  “What if they come back with Sophia and Rick wants to move on right away?” I took a sip.

“I had it fixed yesterday.”  Dale explained.

“What?  What was all that rubbing and sanding for then?   That just bull shit?”  I asked confused.

“Yeah, that’s one word.  Another word would be pantomime—just for show.”  He looked down at me as he continued.  “No one else needs to know that.”

“Pantomime.”  I mumbled not getting it.

“If the others know we’re mobile, they’ll want to mobilize and move on.”

“So you don’t think they’re gonna find Sophia, that it?”

He shook his head as he said.  “I’m just guarding against the worst.  Sooner or later, if she’s not found, people will start doing math.  I want to hold off the needs-of-the-many-versus-the-needs-of-the-few arguments as long as I can.”

After he said that I got it.  “That is one tricky hose, huh?”

“Very.”  He smiled at me as I played along.   He was right, that’s one argument no one should ever have to be involved in.

* * *

 

Loses You

 Shane's POV

 

After Glenn turned off the ringing most went back inside the church with Carol, except for Lori, Andrea and myself.  Andrea walked to where the bell had been ringing and sat down.

Lori spoke up once Rick and the others were out of ear shot, at least she thought they were, she asked.  “Are you really leaving?”

“Don’t you think it’s best for all of us?”  I asked her.

“I think it is, what made you decide?”

“Gotta back away, just trying to be the good guy here, Lori, even if you don’t see it, none of this was intended.  I hope you know that.”  I looked at her, I never wanted to hurt her or Carl, the anger I felt towards the man I had once called brother.  I knew that it would just get worse if I stayed.

She didn’t speak so I did.  “Well, don’t matter as long as I said it.”

She walked up to me rather angry.  “You’re just gonna disappear?  You’re not even gonna tell Rick?”  Man, Rick had blinders on not to see the tension between his best friend and wife.

“He’d only try to stop me, no, that’s on you.  You tell him what you want, or tell him nothing at all.  You’re his wife.”  I told her.

“And Carl?  We dragged him into this.”

“I love Carl.”

“He thinks you hate him.”

“I’m trying to put some distance, I’m trying to make this easier.”  I explained.  “This ain’t easy on any of us, least of all me.  I’m the one who loses you.”  She turned then and walked up the steps into the church.  I watched her go then turned and saw Andrea standing at the edge of the building watching us.  I figured she probably heard every word, the look on her face said it all.  I walked away.

* * *

  

Think It Over

Andrea's POV

 

I followed him as he walked away from me.  “I’m coming with you.”  I told him.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“I’m not stupid, and I’m certainly not deaf.  Look, I don’t know the story.”

“There is no story.”

“Fine, I don’t care.  Don’t confuse me with someone who does.”  I grabbed his arm to get him to stop.  “Look, all I care about is getting out of here, as far away as I can.”  I got in front of him and faced him as he stopped and looked at me.  “Like you.”

“We’re gonna sail off into the sunset together?  We gonna hold hands?”

“I’m not asking you to go steady, Shane, I’m asking for a ride, a chance to start over.  Somewhere else.”  He stared at me, I continued.  “You observe this group lately?  I have.  I see two people who don’t belong; we’re the odd men out.  Between the two of us we make a great third wheel.”

“So what?  Say we do, we just run off.  What’s in it for me except for the extra ass I got to cover?”

“The chance to do something for someone else.”

“Yeah.”

“And a door that swings both ways.  Put a gun in my hand, I’ll cover your ass too.”  As he scoffed I saw Rick a little ways off walking, the rest of the group was starting to sit or stand near a shaded tree, Daryl was watching us for a few seconds.

“Think it over.”  I told him before walking over to the group, he headed over to Rick.

* * *

  

Zombiefied

 Sophia's POV

 

I held my doll close to me when I ran from the walkers, I kept it close when Rick told me to hide in the burrow at the creek, I was holding it as I got out of the burrow and headed the way he’d told me, keeping the sun to my left shoulder.  I climbed out of the creek bed and ran for the highway and my mother, I stopped as I saw something, it rustled leaves I turned and went a different direction.  My heart was pounding as I realized after a while, I wasn’t sure how long I’d been running, but I knew I was lost.

I turned only for a walker to grab me and bit my left shoulder, I screamed and cried as I pulled, trying to get free.  The pain was something I’d never felt before as blood ran down my arm making it easier for me to get loose and I ran, that’s when I dropped my doll it the creek I’d found myself away from the where I’d started.

As the sun set I sat near some bushes, blood still flowing as I felt so sleepy, I closed my eyes to sleep for the night my mind suddenly went blank as I stopped breathing.

**Several hours later after the sun had reason there was a noise, like a branch breaking and Sophia’s eyes snapped open, they were no longer her eyes but that of a walker.  She slowly stood as the only thought that went through her mind was the need to feed.  She stumbled and walked until she saw a man, he was a big man, a bit on the overweight side but she didn’t care.  She didn’t care that his name was Otis or that he was searching the woods for walkers just like her.**

**In his hands was a catch pole.  He got the noose of it around her neck and used the pole to guide her safely to a barn where he opened the doors and pushed her in with lots of other walkers.  She tried to get at him the whole time, and then he closed the barn on her before he went out hunting for venison.**

**He never told anyone, not the owner, the boy, or the women, he just grabbed his riffle and headed out.  He had no idea that it would be the biggest and last mistake he ever made.**


	2. Missing Scenes for Bloodletting

Projecting

 Daryl's POV

 

For a while we walked, nothing but silence between us, as I led them back into the woods, leaving Rick, Shane and Carl at the church.  It hadn’t felt right, but I went along with it, I went along with a lot of things until finally I had enough and started to make some decisions myself for the group.  That didn’t happen for a while though.

I’d given Glenn his knife back as I didn’t need it but he did.  Carol finally asked as she sat on a fallen tree that’s probably been decaying for years.  “So this is it?  This the whole plan?”

I leaned against a tree bow in hand as I said.  “I guess the plan’s to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups.”

“Carrying knives and pointy sticks.”  Andrea said as she looked at Lori who opened her pack.  “I see you have a gun.”  Lori looked at her.

“Why, you want it?  Here, take it.”  She held out the six shooter I’d given her before we headed out.  “I’m sick of the looks you’re giving me.”  Glenn looked away as Andrea took the gun from her.  “All of you.”  Lori mumbled as she sat down and pulled a bottle of water out of her pack.

Andrea needed to stop relying on guns, all they’ll do is attract more walkers and get her killed, but it’s all she could think about.  Like my dad always said, a woman with a gun is nothing but trouble.  My dad was a sexiest, raciest bastard, but he was my dad and I loved him all the same.

Lori looked at Carol as she spoke.  “Honey, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I would do anything to stop it.  But you have got to stop blaming Rick; it is in your face every time you look at him.”  Carol looked at her as she continued.  “When Sophia ran he didn’t hesitate, did he?  Not for a second, I don’t know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make, or that anybody _could_ have _done_ it any differently.”  Carol looked away then.  Lori had been right, back then I probably wouldn’t have gone after her, now a days I think a little differently.

“Anybody?”  She asked looking at the rest of us, Glenn absentmindedly put his hand on his stomach.  “Y’all look to him and then you blame him when he’s not perfect.  If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead.  Nobody is stopping you.”  She uncapped her bottle of water and chugged it in anger.  Some of what she was saying made me thing she was a bit blind to our attitudes about Rick, and Glenn would say she was projecting her own emotions on to us when it was her baggage she was caring.  He learned that from some psych class he’d taken before his father cut him off.

No one said anything as she capped the water and put it back in her pack.  Andrea handed the gun back to her, Lori took it.

“We should keep moving.”  Andrea said.  Lori got up and placed her pack back over her shoulder, Carol followed suit.  I watched them pass before I followed, there was nothing more to say. 

* * *

 

Worrying

 Lori's POV

 

It wasn’t ten minutes later when we all suddenly stopped as a gunshot sounded in the distance.  “What was that?”  Glenn asked.

“A gunshot, Chinamen.”  Daryl told him.

“Let’s go back, they may need help.”  I suggested.

“Lori don’t worry about it, they’re probably perfectly safe.”  Andrea told me.  But I couldn’t help it, I worried.

“Come on, let’s keep moving.”  Daryl said as he took the lead.

For a while we walked in silence, I stopped though and turned back, I couldn’t shake the worry that something horrible had happened, call it mother’s intuition I just knew something wasn’t right, I couldn’t explain it though.

“You still worrying about it?”  Andrea asked as the rest looked at me.

“It was a gunshot.”  I told ‘em.

“We all heard it.”  Daryl said.

I turned back to look at them.  “Why one?  Why just one gunshot?”  I asked; it had been going around in my head.

“They probably took down a walker.”  Daryl said.

“Please don’t patronize me.  You know Rick wouldn’t risk a gunshot to put down one walker, or Shane.  They’d do it quietly.”  I turned away, I wanted to head back and check on them, make sure they were safe, my gut was telling me that something was wrong.

“Shouldn’t they have caught up with us by now?”  Carol asked Daryl.

“There’s nothing we can do about it anyway.  Can’t run around these woods chasing echoes.”  Daryl told us.

“So what do we do?”  I asked him.

“Same as we’ve been.  Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the highway.”

“I’m sure they’ll hook up with us back at the R.V.”  Andrea said.  I just didn’t feel right about it as I walked back with Glenn and Daryl.  Carol stayed put with Andrea.

We stopped again as Andrea spoke to Carol.  “I’m sorry for what you’re going through.  I know how you feel.”

“I suppose you do.  Thank you.”  Carol said.  Carol looked at us as she continued.  “The thought of her, out here by herself…It’s the not knowing that’s killing me.  I just keep hoping and praying she doesn’t wind up like Amy.”  Carol realized what she said.  “Oh God.”  Carol grabbed Andrea’s hands.  “That’s the worst thing I ever said.”

Andrea shook her head as she told her.  “We’re all hoping and praying with you, for what it’s worth.”

Daryl walked up to them as he stated.  “I’ll tell you what it’s worth—not a damn thing.  It’s a waste of time all this hoping and praying.  ‘Cause we’re gonna locate that little girl, she’s gonna be just fine.  Am I the only one zen around here?  Good Lord.”  Daryl walked away, I never knew that locating Sophia was a mission for him; he had something to prove, to himself.  It made me smile though, the way he was so sure we’d find her.

They continued on, I looked back one last time before taking the rear.  I was still worrying though, about something, what I just didn’t know…yet. 

* * *

 

Long Time

 T-Dog's POV

 

As the day wore on and the group had yet to return I walked out of the R.V. where I’d been staying the last couple of hours resting.  I saw Dale working on taking some parts out of an engine, I walked up to him as he was using a ratchet to remove one of the parts, don’t ask me what it was, I don’t know that much about engines.  Just that they’re supposed to work when you turn the key.

He stood up and started wiping the piece he’d just removed as he said.  “We are gonna have quite a collection of spare parts, I tell ya.”

“Shouldn’t they be back by now?”  I asked.

He looked at the sky before he answered.  “It’s still light.  Let’s not worry just yet.”  Dale looked at me as I was moving next to him.  “How are you feeling?”  He asked.  I didn’t answer, just nodded and turned my back.  I heard him grab his riffle where he’d set it leaning against the trunk of a neighboring car.

“T-Dog?”  He called, I looked at him.  He walked up to me.  “I asked you how you were feeling just now.  Please don’t blow that question off.”

I knew he was worried, so I answered him.  “It really, really hurts.  It’s throbbing something awful”

“Oh, let me see…”  He slung his riffle on his back and then gently cradled my arm with his left hand while his right slowly lifted the bandage to see my wound, I knew it didn’t look good from when I changed the bandage a little while ago; there was already fresh blood on the white cloth.  He started to touch my wound, I screamed in pain.

“Ah! Don’t—don’t touch it!”

He put the bandage down as he said.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

As I leaned against a car next to Daryl’s bike the pain started to recede as he explained.  “Listen, your veins are very discolored.  You got a hell of an infection there.  You could die from blood poisoning.”

“Oh man.  Wouldn’t that be the way?  World gone to hell, the dead risen up to eat the living and Theodore Douglas gets done in by a cut on his arm.”  I cracked up laughing.

He put his hands on my shoulders.  “Yeah, that would be—that would be stupid.  I’ve been saying since yesterday, we’ve got to get you some antibiotics.  We’ve been ransacking these cars the whole time, I can’t believe that we have not found some ampicillin or something in the whole place can you?”

“Seems like there would be.”  I agreed as I sobered up.

“That’s what I think.  Well, we, uh—we haven’t been thorough enough.  So let’s look some more.”  Dale and I headed out to try and find some sort of antibiotics to fix my arm.  Last thing I wanted to do…was die.

I walked over to a car and opened the door; I started riffling through the glove compartment.  I found a bottle of ibuprofen tossed those on the seat and reached in again pulling out a box of cigarettes and a lighter.  If I was going to die I guess it didn’t matter if I smoked, I pulled a cigarette out and placed it between my teeth.

I was just backing out of the car when I turned my head and looked in the backseat a bloody car seat, I started to shake, I wasn’t sure if it was anger or sadness, I think a little of both.  I left slamming the door behind me.

I walked back to the R.V. after that and sat down on a blue plastic crate while Dale searched around.  I lit up the cigarette and started smoking, I was on my second one when Dale walked up to me with a plastic bag of stuff, a knife of some kind couldn’t tell and a light tan colored guitar, the kind country singers used.

“Found some more batteries, a bottle of very trendy pink water, an excellent new machete, and I thought Glenn might like this guitar.”  He said as he set the stuff down next to me, leaning the guitar against the R.V. he kept hold of the machete as he sat down.  “Maybe he plays.”  He looked at me as I took another puff of my cigarette and gave me the bad news.  “No drugs, you?”

“Yeah, ibuprofen, and these.”  I said as I showed him the cigarette between my fingers.  “What are we doing?”  I asked after a few seconds.

“Pulling supplies together.”

“No, I mean…what are we doing?  People off in the woods, they’s looking for that poor girl and we’re here.  Why?”  I asked him, he didn’t answer me so I did.  “‘Cause they think we’re the weakest.  What are you, seventy?”  I asked taking a puff.

“Sixty-four.”

“Uh-huh.  And I’m the one black guy.   Realize how precarious that makes my situation?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about two good old-boy cowboy sheriffs and a redneck whose brother cut off his own hand because I dropped a key.  Who in that scenario you think is gonna be first to get lynched?”

“You can’t be serious.”  I leaned away from him, he continued.  “Am I—hey, am I missing something?  Those cowboys have done all right by us.  And if I’m not mistaken, that redneck went out of his way to save your ass—more than once.”  Dale reminded me.

“And don’t forget about Andrea, kills her own sister.”  I said jogging _his_ memory.

“She was already dead.”

“Then wants to blow herself up.  Yeah, she’s all there.”

“She’s having a tough time, what is wrong with you?”

“The whole world is having a tough time.  Damn, man, open your eyes.”  I started yelling then.  “Look where we are—stuck in this mess here!”

“Shh!”  Dale said trying to calm me down.  A headache that had been bugging me grew to new heights of pain.

“Let’s—let’s just go.”  I closed my eyes and put my hand to my head.  I lifted my head and pounded it a couple of times on the R.V. as I said.   “Let’s just take the R.V.”  I was tired of it and wanted to leave.

“You’ve gone off the deep end.”  Dale said as he stood up.

“I mean it, man.  Why are we on the side of this road like live bait?  Let’s go, you and me.  Let’s go before they get back.”  I suggested as I looked up at him.  He reached his hand out and placed it to my forehead.

“Oh my God, you’re burning up.  Give me that.”  He ordered of the bottle of pills in my other hand.  I held it out for him, he was right I was hot and hurting and sick, I wasn’t thinking straight at the time, I can’t remember what I was thinking or why I said what I did, I just knew I had to leave.

He shook out a couple of pills and held out his hand.  “Here, take these.”  I popped them in my mouth.  “We’ve got to knock that fever down.”  He unscrewed a cap and handed me a bottle of that pinkish water, I think it said vitamin water on the label.  I washed the pills down with it.

“Where the hell are they?”  Dale muttered; I knew he was worried about me, and probably the group, they’ve been gone a really long time. 

* * *

 

The Beginning of Jealousy

 Daryl's POV

 

We’d been walking and searching for a while now, no sign of her, no sign of any walkers either.  We slowed to a stop as I said.  “We’ll lose the light before too long.   I think we should call it.”  It was starting to get late I was tired, I was sure Glenn was tired and the way he held himself probably a little sore.

“Let’s head back.”  Lori suggested.

“We’ll pick it up again tomorrow?”  Carol asked as she looked at Lori.

“Yeah, we’ll find her tomorrow.”  Lori reassured him.

I whistled then and started to lead them back to the highway were Dale and T-Dog were, I hoped Ricks group had better luck then us.

We walked for a long while before Andrea asked.   “How much farther?”

“Not much, maybe a hundred yards.   As the crow flies.”  I told her.

“Too bad we’re not crows.”  Andrea complained.  Glenn pulled out a bottle of water and took a sip.

“Hey.”  I said as I held out my hand to him.  He gave me the bottle and I took a quick drink then handed it back.  We’ve shared spit and other bodily fluids so it didn’t bother me that we started drinking after each other then.

Andrea had walked away from us, I could hear her mutter as she complained some more.  “As the crow flies my ass.”  Suddenly I heard a groan that could only come from a walker and Andrea’s screams.

“Andrea?”  Lori called.

I ran to her the others followed, she was screaming as I saw her fall we were almost to her,  Glenn sped up to get to her faster as the walker grabbed her legs while she kicked out at him.  Then suddenly a woman on a horse rode up with a bat, she swung hitting the walker in the head making to fall off of Andrea as she slowed to a stop.

Andrea was sitting up as the woman asked.  “Lori, Lori Grimes?”

We stopped to a walk as Lori announced herself.  “I’m Lori.”

“Rick sent me; you’ve got to come now.”  She explained.

“What?”  Lori asked confused.

“There’s been an accident, Carl’s been shot.  He’s still alive but you’ve got to come now.”  Lori was frozen for a few seconds as she processed this new information.  “Rick needs you just come.”  She told Lori forcefully.

Thing is I didn’t trust that woman from the beginning and the more I got to know her the less I trusted, for a while at least.  Lori took off her pack and headed to the woman’s horse.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, we don’t know this girl.  You can’t get on that horse.”  I told her, Lori ignored me.

“Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?”  She asked as she was looking at Glenn.

“Uh-huh.”  Glenn said.  I looked at him, I didn’t like the way he looked at her, I’ve never been in  a long term relationship so I’d never been jealous before, but that’s what I felt right then.

“Backtrack to Fairburn road, two miles down is our farm.  You’ll see the mail box the name is Greene.  Hyah!”  She flicked the rains and the horse started off with Lori on the back holding the woman around the waist.   In those few moments I suddenly hated that woman, what happens over the next few days doesn’t make it any better, but over time we came to an understanding.  I still don’t fully trust her, especially when she’s around Glenn, but I trust Glenn and that’s all I need to do.

Her hit hadn’t killed the walker as it moaned and sat up.  I pointed my bow at it without looking and said.  “Shut up.”  Then shot it through the head as I walked off.  I wasn’t in the mood; in fact my jealousy was making me pissed.

* * *

 

Upset

 Glenn's POV

 

We got back to the highway; the sun was starting to set giving off a pinkish hue.  I was running ahead of the group several paces as I reached the guardrail Dale asked.   “What happened?”

“Carl’s been shot.”  I told him quickly.

“Shot?  What do you mean shot?”  Dale asked as he walked up to the guardrail, I walked over it as the others arrived.

“I don’t know Dale I wasn’t there.  All I know is this chick rode out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori.”  I explained then looked at Daryl as he was walking over the rail with the girls next to him.

“You let her?”  Dale asked him.

“Climb down out of my asshole, man.  Rick sent her; she knew Lori’s name and Carl’s.”  Daryl told him as he walked away, Dale watched him go.

“I heard screams was that you?”  Dale asked as Andrea walked by.

“She got attacked by a walker.  It was a close call.”  I explained as Carol sat on the guardrail and took off her pack.

“Andrea, are you all right?”  She just looked at him, didn’t answer but the look in her eyes said it all, she was still upset at him, she opened the door to the R.V. and walked inside slamming it behind her. 

* * *

 

More Than Just Sex

Daryl's POV

 

“I won’t do it, we can’t just leave.”  Carol said; we’d been having this discussion for the last half hour.  I knew we needed to get to the farm and see that Carl was alright and what Rick wanted us to do.  But I could see where Carol was coming from, not wanting to leave because of Sophia, her daughter.

“Carol, the group is split, we’re scattered and weak.”  Dale told her.

“What if she comes back and we’re not here?  It could happen.”  Carol said.

“If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful.”  Andrea agreed.

So I suggested a solution.  “Okay.  We got to plan for this.  I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes.  Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave her some supplies.  I’ll hold here tonight, stay with the R.V.”

“If the R.V. is staying, I am too.”  Dale said.

“Thank you, thank you both.”  Carol said.

I looked at Andrea as she said.  “I’m in.”

“Well…if you’re all staying then I’m—”

“Not you Glenn, you’re going.”  Dale told him.  “Take Carol’s Cherokee.”

“I don’t want to leave.”  He looked at me; I could see it in his eyes.  Truth was I didn’t want him to go to that farm either, where I wasn’t, where that woman was.  That’s right, I was jealous, still am at times I won’t deny it.  “Why is it always me?”  Glenn asked Dale.

“You have to find this farm, reconnect with our people, see what’s going on and get some place with shelter for you and that baby, but most important, you have to get T-Dog there.  This is not an option.”  We all glanced at where T-Dog was leaning against the back of the R.V. with a blanket wrapped around him, Dale continued.  “That cut has gone from bad to worse.  He has a very serious blood infection.  Get him to that farm; see if they have any antibiotics.”

I looked at my bike, Merle’s old bike; I walked over to it as Dale kept explaining things.  “Because if not, T-Dog will die no joke.”  I took off one of the rags that had been left their by Dale, then lifted the flap of the bag that’s always holding Merle’s stash and pulled a bag of all kinds of pills, I walked back over to the group as they looked at me.

“Keep your oily rags off my brother’s motorcycle.”  I told Dale as I tossed him the rag.   I placed the plastic Ziploc bag on the hood of Carol’s Cherokee and started looking through them as I said.  “Why’d you wait till now to say anything?  Got my brother’s stash.”  I informed them; Dale walked up to me surprise written all over his face.

“Crystal, X, don’t need that.  Some kick ass painkillers.”  I tossed those to Glenn who caught it; I didn’t even see his hand move.  I looked in it again and pulled out a bottle.  “Oxycycline.”  I tossed it to Dale.  “Not the generic stuff neither, its first class.  Merle got the clap on occasion.”  I walked away, Glenn followed.

“Daryl, I don’t want to go and leave you.”  I turned to him.

“Glenn, Dale’s right, you need to be somewhere safe, in a house, and you need to eat something better than these power bars and junk.  Go and I’ll see you tomorrow.”  I told him, he grabbed my hand and pulled me close.

“Promise.”  Glenn asked.

“Promise.”  One thing about me, I never make a promise unless I know for sure I can keep it, on this occasion I had no intention of breaking it.  We kissed for a long time but neither of us was in the mood to do anything more.  I helped him pack up his stuff, the diaper bag included, minus one ABC book, which I took out when Glenn’s back was turned.  T-Dog had the pills and was situated in the car, as Glenn got in behind the wheel I knelt down next to him.

“I love you, see you tomorrow.”  Glenn told me.

“You got it Chinamen.”  I kissed him once more, and then closed the door as we watched ‘em drive off.  I had stopped hiding my feelings and our relationship once everyone knew, so I didn’t have a problem with kissing him in front of the others like I did before.  I don’t mind admitting that I was the one that had the problem with it, Glenn never wanted to hide, but he just did it for me.  That should’ve been my first clue that he actually liked me for more than just sex. 

* * *

 

High School Blues Part One

Shane's POV

 

We didn’t speak the whole drive there; I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, so the silence like they say was golden.  I had him park a block away from the high school, and we went on foot.  There was a grassy hill that led up to the parking lot in at the back of the building, where the FEMA shelter had set up.  There was ambulances and other vehicles scattered on the lot and the grass.  We each had our packs on to put the things in when we grabbed ‘em, I was caring my shotgun, Otis had his riffle as we snuck up the hill and hid behind one of the police cars.

“Okay, let’s take a look.”  I told him, then we stood up and there in the parking lot was dozens of walkers.  They were moaning and snarling and just milling about, they hadn’t noticed us yet, key word there is _yet._   And we didn’t want them to notice us as we crouched back down.

Otis asked.  “You see that big mobile medical trailer across the way?”  I took another peak and yep there it was, but between us and it were the walkers.

I leaned back against the car and looked at him.  “That’s where we got to get to?”  I asked.

“Yeah.”  He said.  I sighed, this was turning into a very long day and I had a feeling it was about to get longer.  Luckily for me I’ve been a cop for years so I knew that in one of these trunks we were hiding behind should be something we can use to distract the walkers.

“We need to distract them; one of these cruisers should have something in the trunk, if we’re lucky.”  I told him as the sun was going down.

We went around to one of the police cruisers we were hiding behind, I headed to the driver’s side door while Otis kept watch at the trunk.  I set my gun against the back door and slowly, very slowly pulled at the handle and the door clicked softly as it opened, it squeaked faintly as I opened it the rest of the way.

I got into the driver’s seat and found the trunk release, I pressed it and the trunk popped open.  I slid back out keeping low to the ground as I shimmied my way to the trunk, I reached in and sure enough I found a few flares, they would be the perfect distraction, I chuckled, it was a good moment for us.

Otis got next to one cruiser while I stayed behind the cruiser we’d been using for cover.  Once Otis was ready we each snapped the flare top and threw them out into the parking lot in the direction away from the medical trailer, we did that two or three times.

It worked, the walkers started heading toward the light and the hissing of the fire from the flares, as they turned their backs and walked off, I ran out first to a van near the trailer, Otis followed a second later, going around toward the door.

As he got to the door I ran around the rail to the stairs that led to the door, once inside I shut it behind us.  Otis passed me a flashlight as he turned on one for himself.

There were shelves with containers set on them that held plastic bags and tanks of oxygen, I pointed to them and asked.  “Is this it?”

“Yeah, three, three.”  Otis told me.

I started putting the small tanks in my pack while my flash light was in my mouth.  Otis found the tubes and respirators.  Once I had the tanks I walked over to Otis who found a small metal something or other.

“Endotracheal Intubator, baby, for my new respirator.”

“Attaboy, come on.”  I said as I finished packing other supplies we needed.  We hefted our packs back on and headed for the door.  I had my shotgun in my right hand, my flash light in my mouth and with my free hand I grabbed the door handle and slowly turned it.  As the door opened we saw the walkers were back to milling around, they were ignoring the flares that were still burning bright.  They were starting to take notice of us.

“Goddamn it.”  I said as we ran down the stairs.  They had blocked the way we came and were headed for us so we kept running straight.  I ran to the high school and headed around the side of it and up a walkway with a railing there.

“Come on!  Stay with me!”  I screamed at Otis as we reached some stairs, we headed up.  I ran around and passed the fenced yard, I turned and there was more in front of us.  “NO—no, no, no, no!” I kept repeating as I backed away from the walker reaching out to me.  It tried to grab me so I gave it a left hook knocking it to the ground then ran through the fenced yard, Otis right behind me.

As we ran between the buildings I yelled.  “Come on.”  But there was more, we turned right and headed to the front doors of the high school as I kept repeating come on.

“In here.”  I said as I grabbed the door handle and yanked it open, I used all my strength ripping the door off its hinges, I threw it at a few walkers knocking some back, one lost its head.  I didn’t care as we ran inside.

There was a sliding gate, I grabbed it and pulled it closed, it tried to get stuck and failed as I relied on my strength, I started to feel pain in my arms and shoulders across my back.  As the gate closed I grabbed the pin connected to the door jam and hooked it in the hole to keep the walkers from getting in, for now.

Their arms started reaching in trying to get to us and they were pounding on the glass windows next to where the doors had been before I destroyed ‘em.

Otis and I leaned against the brick wall across the window and watched as the hands couldn’t get at us.  Otis took a firm hold of his riffle as I was panting trying to get my breath back.

“Damn it.”  I said.  We were royally screwed, we had to get this stuff back to Hershel to save Carl, on top of that I waited four years to get out of high school, I was not about to die in high school.  “Fuck!”  I screamed as I banged my head back on the wall behind me making a dent and splintering the bricks as I closed my eyes, trying to figure out the next plan.  This was going to be a very long night.


	3. Missing Scenes for Save the Last One

Failed Again

Daryl's POV

 

Shortly after Glenn and T-Dog left the sun had gone and we went into the R.V. for the night.  Carol took the bed in the back while Andrea sat at the table and started reloading everyone’s clips mine included, I laid on a sleeping bag that I had placed on the floor, next to the bathroom, I kept my hands behind my head as I was thinking.  The ABC book I’d snuck out was hidden in the sleeping bag; I didn’t want anyone to see it.

I could hear Andrea loading the clips, the ammo clinking into place; then she’d pick up another one and repeat the motion.  Carol on the other hand was crying.  I lifted a little in a crunch like style as I looked at her curled up with a blanket as she sobbed.  I lied back down, as I lifted my head to look at Andrea.

Finally I got tired of it, and I knew I wasn’t going to sleep any time soon, that was the first time I’d been without Glenn since I found out, and I didn’t like it.  I stood up and walked to the table, on the seat across from Andrea is where I’d rested my bow.  I picked it up and swung it on my back.

“I need my clip now.”  I told Andrea.  She handed me my recently reloaded clip as I placed it in my gun.  “I’m gonna walk the road, look for the girl.”  I told her.

I looked at Carol who took notice of that as she looked at me while wiping her tears.  I nodded at her before I headed out with a flashlight letting the door shut behind me.

I didn’t need the flashlight but if Sophia was out there she might see it and realize that it’s us.  I turned around when I heard the door open and shut again.  Andrea had followed me.

“I’m coming too.”  She said.

I looked up at Dale who’d been keeping watch on top of the R.V. “I’m going for a walk; shine some light in the forest.  If she’s out there give her something to look at.”  I informed him.

“You think that’s a good idea right now?”  Dale asked, worry in his voice.

“Dale.”  Andrea said as she passed me, I guessed she was still pissed at him; hey it was none of my business.  I turned and followed.

We were silent for a long while after we made it to the woods, I was now walking next to her instead of behind, our flashlights were lighting the path so Andrea wouldn’t stumble or trip, possibly that Sophia would see it, and this search could be over.  I wasn’t going to stop looking till I’d found her, that’s for sure.  Andrea finally broke the silence as she asked.  “You really think we’re gonna find Sophia?”  As if she’d been reading my thoughts.

I looked at her, my flashlight pointed straight ahead as I took in her expression.  “You got that look on your face same as everybody else.”  I told her as I looked forward before continuing.  “What the hell’s wrong with you people?  We just started looking.”

“Well, do you?”

“It ain’t the mountains of Tibet, its Georgia.  She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere.”  I told her.  “People get lost and they survive.  It happened all the time.”

“She’s only twelve.”

I glanced at her before I explained a little bit about my past.  “Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost.  Nine days in the woods eating berries, wiping my ass with poison oak.”

“They found you?”  She asked as she looked at me.

“My old man was off on a bender with some waitress.  Merle was doing another stint in Juvie, didn’t even know I was gone.  I made my way back though, went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich.  No worse for wear.  Except my ass itched something awful.”  Andrea snorted at that, I looked at her as she was trying not to laugh.

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, that is a terrible story.”  She failed as she cracked up.  I started laughing then to, ‘cause looking back it was kind of funny.

“Only difference is Sophia’s got people looking for her.  I call that an advantage.”

We stopped talking then for a long while as we walked, just the silence between us, I was thankful for that, it made concentrating easier so we didn’t get attacked.  My thoughts did keep circling around Glenn, I hopped him and T-Dog made it safely to the farm, I hoped that slut was keeping her hands to herself and off of what was mine.  Okay, so I got a little possessive at the time, I won’t say I’m completely cured, but I did get better at letting go.

I was brought out of my thoughts as there was the sound of rustling to the right of us.  I aimed my bow as I looked out into what was supposed to be darkness, but of course me, it wasn’t.  Andrea stayed next to me as I headed down the small incline to where the rustling had come from.

We arrived at what had once been a camp site; there was a tent, and chairs and a table with a lantern on it that wasn’t on.  There was more rustling only this time it was above us.  The tree branches were moving, but since there was a lack of wind I had my suspicions as to what it was.

As we walked passed what had been a camp fire pit a walker came into view.   I shined the light on him for Andrea as I said.  “What the hell?”

Hanging from one of the branches was a walker; his legs were all chewed and gnawed on, leaving some muscle but mostly bone.  He was trying to reach out, to grab us, but with the noose around his neck, couldn’t, so he did nothing more than flail around.  Andrea shined her light in his face as I took notice of something attached to the tree.

I pointed to a piece of paper stabbed into the trunk.  Andrea looked at me, I sadly shook my head, she must’ve gotten the hint as she walked up to it while I shined the light on it for her; he read aloud.  “Got bit, fever hit, world gone to shit, might as well quit.”  She backed away as I looked up at the dead guy again.

“Dumbass didn’t know enough to shoot himself in the head.  Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait.  And a mess.”  Andrea groaned as she bent over.  I glanced at her as I asked.  “You all right?”

“Trying not to puke.”

“Go ahead if you gotta.”  I’d gotten used to it from Glenn, and seeing someone get sick never really bothered me much, my stomach toughed up with all the kills I’d skinned and gutted over the years.

“No, I’m fine.  Let’s just talk about something else for a minute.  How’d you learn to shoot?”

“Gotta eat.  That’s one thing these walkers and us have in common.”  I told her as I kept looking at the guy who wanted to eat me right then.  “I guess it’s the closest he’s been to food since he turned.  Look at him, hanging up there like a big piñata.”  I pointed to his legs as I continued.  “The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs.”  That’s when Andrea lost it and vomited.

I looked at her as she spit a couple of times and stood back up.  “I thought we were changing the subject.”

“Call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass.”

“There wasn’t a lot that came up.”

“Huh.  Let’s head back.”  I said as I turned the way we’d come.

“Aren’t you gonna…”  I looked at her, then the swinging walker.

“No.  He ain’t hurting nobody.  Ain’t gonna waste an arrow either.  He made his choice, opted out.  Let him hang.”  I have no sympathy for someone who just quits, gives up and takes his own life.   In my opinion that makes him a coward, along with Jenner and Jacqui and anyone else who takes their own life instead of trying to fight to survive.  Not that I don’t understand his reason, I just don’t respect it.

Andrea walked up closer to him keeping her light on him.  She felt sorry for him; I could see it in her stance, in her eyes a minute ago.  “You want to live now or not?”  I asked.  She turned to me.  “It’s just a question.”

“An answer for an arrow, fair?”   I agreed to that with a quick nod.  “I don’t know if I want to live or if I have to or if it’s just a habit.”

“Not much of an answer.”  I told her, but a deal was a deal.  I aimed my bow and fired shooting an arrow between his eyes.  He finally shut up and hung there limp, getting the peace he wanted.  “Waste of an arrow.”  I turned and headed back.  Andrea followed a few seconds later.

We walked for a while longer then decided to turn back, we hadn’t found Sophia, and I hated having to tell Carol that we failed again.

* * *

 

 

Do We Ring the Bell?

 Glenn's POV

 

The drive had been silent the whole way there, T-Dog just stayed wrapped up in his blanket as I drove.  I tried not to think about Daryl and the rest as I made the turn at the Greene’s mailbox, I got out of the car to open the gate before driving in, and where I got out again and closed the gate making sure it was latched.  Then drove down the dirt road until we saw a house.  I pulled up next to a tree and parked as T-Dog got out of the car.  I shut the engine off then followed, I left the diaper bag in the car it’d be safe and I could come back and get it, as long as I knew where it was.

I had noticed that T-Dog started shivering half way here and he still hadn’t stopped.  I put my pack on my back then grabbed the shotgun we’d been given as T-Dog stopped in front of the car and waited for me, I then slammed the door and together we headed for the front porch.  It looked like a pleasant two story place as we saw lights inside, which was a nice sign of life.

We stopped as we got to the steps to the porch unsure of what to do.  I asked as I looked at T-Dog.  “So do we ring the bell?  I mean it looks like people live here.”  I looked back at the lit up porch and house.

“We’re past this kind of stuff, aren’t we?”  T-Dog asked as we headed up the steps.  “Having to be considerate.”

“Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?”  That woman from earlier asked where she was sitting on a chair her knees drawn up.  We hadn’t even seen her till she spoke as she had been sitting in the shadows.

“Uh, hi.  Yes, we closed it.  Did the latch and everything.”  She moved her feet to the floor and leaned forward.  “Hello, nice to see you again.  We, uh, met before briefly.”  I was nervous, I hadn’t had much experience with the opposite sex, and so talking to women even now was difficult.  I won’t say she wasn’t attractive, ‘cause she was, and me, I’m bisexual.  So, very much into women as well as men, of course I hadn’t told Daryl that, and I didn’t plan on it, because while she was attractive I just couldn’t see myself with anyone other than Daryl.

“Look, we came to help.  There anything we can do?”  T-Dog asked.  She stood and walked up to us as she took notice of T-Dog’s bandaged wound.  “It’s not a bite.  I cut myself pretty bad though.”  T-Dog explained.

“We’ll have it looked at, I’ll tell them you’re here.”  She said.

“We have some painkillers and antibiotics.”  I informed her as I pulled out the pills Daryl had given me.  “I already gave him some, if Carl needs any.”

“Come on inside, I’ll make you something to eat.”  She said as she opened the screen door and led us into the house.  She took us to a room close by where Carl and his family were.

* * *

 

 

First Time

 Maggie's POV

 

“You got here right in time.  This couldn’t go untreated much longer.”  Patricia said as she was nearly finished sowing up the young black man’s arm.  I’d led them to the dining area and got them both something to eat and drink and once they were finished Patricia started working on his cut.  Since there was nothing more she could do for that young boy, dad was taking care of him.

I had my hand in his to keep his arm still and on the table, I wish I had Beth’s gift to take his pain away, but with her still sleeping from the strain of Carl’s all I could do was hold his hand.  We’d been talking to him to keep him distracted, Patricia asked.  “‘Merle Dixon.’ Is that your friend with the antibiotics?”

The young Asian leaned against the archway with a mug in his hands as he answered.  “No, ma’am, Merle’s no longer with us.  Daryl gave us those—his brother.”

“Not sure I’d call him a friend.”  The black man T-Dog said before biting down as Patricia was starting to tie off the thread.

“He is today.  This Doxycline might have just saved your life.  You know what Merle was taking it for?”  Patricia asked.

“The clap.”  Young Asian Glenn said.  I looked at him as he explained.  “Um, venereal disease.  That’s what Daryl said.”

“I’d say Merle Dixon’s clap was the best thing to ever happen to you.”  Patricia told T-Dog.

“I’m really trying not to think about that.”  T-Dog said through gritted teeth.  Glenn headed outside; T-Dog relaxed once Patricia cut the thread and wrapped his arm in a bandage.  I followed him out, the guy intrigued me, and he was cute.  He was sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the porch.

He had his hands clasped and his head bowed, so as I leaned against one of the posts I asked.  “Are you praying?”  He looked at me.

“Why do you sneak up on people so much?”

“You’re easy to sneak up on.”  I told him as I sat on the porch rail.

“I was praying.”  He said as he looked at me.  “I was trying to.”

“You religious?  You pray a lot?”  I wanted to know more about him, everything actually.

“Actually, uh, this was my first try.”

“Ever?”  He nodded.  “Wow.  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to wreck your first time.”

“God probably got the gist.”

“Praying for what?”

“ _My friends._ Looks like they could all use a little help right now.”  He sighed before continuing.  “You think—you think God exists?”  He looked at me.

“I always took it on faith.  Lately I’ve wondered.  Everything that’s happened; there must have been a lot of praying going on.  It seems quite a few went unanswered.”

“Thanks, this is really helping.”  There was sarcasm in his voice.

“Sorry, go ahead.  _Really._ ”

“You gonna watch?”

I stood up and walked over to him, as I bent down picking up his empty mug I said.  “I’ll get you a refill instead.”  I started to walk away when I stopped and looked at him again.  “I know it’s not my business, and feel free to believe in God, but the thing is you’ve got to make it okay somehow no matter what happens.”  I went back into the house leaving him to his thoughts and his praying.  I had no idea that he wasn’t just praying for his friends, but for something much more important, his own unborn child.

* * *

 

 

Forgive Me

 Dale's POV

 

I was standing on my R.V. keeping watch, Andrea and Daryl had left a little while ago to look for Sophia.  It was dark so they’d taken flashlights, I was pretty sure Daryl no longer needed a flashlight, but he took one anyways, I think it was more for Sophia’s benefit then his.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes I’d taken from T-Dog, lifted it up to my noise and smelt them.  I hadn’t had a cigarette in a really long time, I quite several years ago ‘cause my wife asked me to, she wanted me to live as long as I could to be with her.  Who’d have thought it’d actually end up being my wife who died first.

I looked at them again debating, when I heard someone climbing the ladder.  I dropped them as I turned and saw Carol; she tossed her pack up as I bent down and picked up the cigarettes.  I put them back in my shirt pocket before I asked.  “Can’t sleep?”

“I’m gonna wait for them to come back.”  I looked out in the darkness as she continued.  “You can go down and sleep if you want to.”  I faced her.

“No, we can keep watch together.”  I walked a few steps back to where I’d been standing, Carol followed.

“Which way did they go?”  I pointed out in the general direction I’d seen them walk off in.  Neither of us said another word as we waited for them to return, hopefully with some good news about Sophia.

We were silent for a while; Carol had decided to sit at my left as I continued to stand, keeping watch, worrying about Andrea.  It seemed Carol could read my thoughts as she said.  “You don’t need to worry, she’s with Daryl.  If something happens he can protect her.”  I looked down at her as she looked up at me.  “You hear what I’m saying?”

“Sorry, all I heard was if something happens.”  I started to take off my riffle as I asked.  “You mind keeping watch?”  I tried to hand her the riffle.

“I don’t know how to use that.”

“I won’t be gone long.”  I told her, I just needed to go find them.  They’ve been gone for too long now and I couldn’t stop worrying.  “If you see anything, call out.   I’m not going far, I’ll hear you.”  I headed to the ladder at the back of the R.V.  I place my riffle back on before I climbed down to the street below.

I started walking pass all the abandoned cars to the guardrail where Daryl and Andrea had gone a couple of hours ago.  I probably should’ve brought a flashlight as I stood there looking out into the inky blackness without the perfect vision that Daryl had.

I stood there for several minutes before going back to Carol and the R.V. I climbed the ladder and sat down as we waited for them to get back.  It was maybe an hour later when I saw the flashlights and movement from the woods as they came back.

Carol made a small noise of sadness as she grabbed her bag and headed down the ladder.  I followed a few seconds later as I saw them get closer.  As I reached the ground I saw Carol go inside the R.V. slamming the door behind her.  I noticed that Sophia wasn’t with them; I figured they hadn’t had any luck.

I looked at Daryl who made eye contact as he flipped off his flashlight, then opened the door and went inside.

Andrea was going to follow, I stopped her.  “Andrea, wait.”

“What do you want, Dale?”  Andrea asked impatiently as she faced me.

“To give you this.”  I pulled her pistol from behind me.  “I care about you so I made a choice for you—choices.  I know why I did it, but this is not my gun.  And the choices that I made for you were not mine to make.”  I explained, as I held out her pistol.  She walked closer and took it from my hand.  “But I can still ask, and this is not to make you guilty or put me ahead of you, but I can still ask, please…Don’t make me regret this.”

She looked at the ground, but as she looked back up at me she said.  “I’ll take watch.”  She headed to the back of the R.V.

“So—so do you—do you forgive me for—” I paused as she stopped moving.  “Do you forgive me?”

She looked at me as she gave her best answer.  “I’m trying.”  That was that.  She headed up to the roof and I went inside the R.V. Daryl was laying on his pallet and Carol was in the back crying.   I knew it would take time, I just hoped in the end she would truly forgive me before it was too late and regret never having done so.

* * *

 

 

High School Blues Part 2

Shane's POV

It didn’t take long for the glass in the windows to start breaking, and as they came shattering in, Otis and I ran down the halls.  With the bags on our backs and guns in our hands we ran, there was nothing else we could do.  Dozens of walkers following, and I realized how weak I truly was, I may have super strength but at that very moment it didn’t really matter, I turned around and ran backwards as I took in all the walkers behind us.

I spun back to look ahead as I slowed when I saw two big doors locked with a chain and padlock.   If I had the time I could break it, with my bare hands, problem was the walkers were almost on top of us and I couldn’t spare any ammo, so Otis and I turned and headed down another hall, up some stairs and to a basketball quart in a gymnasium.

There was the bleachers and some wooden platforms pressed against a wall, they were thick enough, so we climbed ‘em and stood there with the dead trying to reach up at us.  I shined my flashlight around looking for an exit knowing we couldn’t stay here all night.

To the left was stairs leading up to a stage of some kind, more bleachers I guessed, but there were windows, and that would be perfect.  “Those windows, what’s on the other side?”  I asked.

“About a twenty-foot drop with nothing to catch you, maybe some bushes, then the athletic field.”  Otis explained, this gym had been a good run but we’d come to a _dead_ end, possibly literately

“We just need enough time.”  I told him.  “We got to get up there.  We got to get ‘em open, and get out.”

“Not me, maybe you.”

“Hey, hey, hey.”

“Come on, man, look at me.  You really think I can squeeze through one of them tiny windows?  They’d be all over us.”  He explained as we shimmed keeping our backs close to the wall.  “Look, we lay down some fire to get a head start.  You stay here; I hop down and draw them away.  That gives you the chance to get up the bleachers and out a window.”

“And where do you go?”  I asked, he took my flashlight and shined it at some door at the other end of the gym.

“Locker room, down those steps.”  He handed the flashlight back.

“Look, like a good way to get trapped.”

“It’s got windows too, and more my size.”  Otis finished explaining as I put the flashlight in my pack.  “I get out through one, I double back; we meet up out on the field.”

“You’re a crazy son of a bitch, ain’t you?”

“Just trying to do right for that boy.”

“You take three shots and you go.  After that I fire, I’ll lay down a cover for you.  I’ll get you a lead.”  I set my gun as he nodded.

“All right.”  Otis said, and then he aimed his riffle and took his three shots on a few of the walkers.  He ran to the end of our height advantage and jumped off, he landed wrong twisting his ankle with a scream of.  Then he cried.  “Oh God.”  As one of the walkers crawling on the ground grabbed his leg.

Otis twisted around screaming as he tried to pull away from it.  It was drawing the attention of the rest; I aimed my shotgun and blasted a round in its head.  Otis struggled to his feet using the butt of his riffle as a crutch and rose as the walkers headed his way.

I shot several as Otis ran for the stairs leading to the locker room.  Once I could no longer see him and most of the walkers had followed I headed to the other end where the bleachers and my exit were waiting.

I jumped down and ran up the steps to the window I placed the pack Otis had given me on the floor under the window; I used the butt of my shotgun and busted out said window, not wanting to cut myself.   I grunted with the effort as I continued to break the window until I could get out, my muscles were protesting as the ache I’d been feeling all day made its self-known.

I heard a moan behind me, I turned and saw a couple of walkers that hadn’t followed Otis, I cocked my shotgun and fired right in its center mass, throwing it off balance as it fell back into the one behind it which was pushed back, that one lost it’s footing as he fell over the rail to the ground below.

I grabbed the pack on the floor and looking through the broken window down at the bushes, I let the bag go, then took the one off my back and repeated the motion, and last I dropped my shotgun, leaving my hands free of anything that could get in the way of crawling out of this blasted second story window, it was several feet between myself, and the not so soft landing of the bushes and hard packed earth.

I eased myself out keeping a hold of the window frame still attached to the building as I sat in on the window sill, I was going to jump, but then I had a second thought and decided against it.  So I turned around holding the ledge as I hung there preparing to let go, bracing myself for the impact, when unexpectedly another walker grabbed me by the front of my shirt.  I let the ledge go and punched it in the face, my hand came away bloody, as I dented its cheek in, but it still growled at me as it tried to bite me.  So I used all my strength and punched again, right in the head, I must’ve hit the head just right ‘cause the thing went limp as it released me.

I wasn’t ready for the impact at the point, ‘cause when my feet hit the ground one of my ankles twisted excruciatingly, and the rest of the pain I’d been feeling increased tenfold up my leg as I laid on the ground holding it.  I sat somewhat on my side as I held my throbbing ankle and groaned trying to keep from screaming in agony.  Would you believe that after this event, this moment, this accident, my strength increased further than before?  But at the same time, the pain in my muscles increased as well.   So much that I thought I might’ve been going insane at times, from the sheer pain, of the gift I’d been given, it was like the mutation didn’t know when to stop and it in fact started to rip my muscles little by little as time went on.

But at that moment I sat there trying to force myself to rise, when I heard gunshots.  Three of them, I knew it had to be Otis, I just didn’t know if it meant he was alive, or just got over run, which meant I could very well be on my own.  So I got to my feet reluctantly and grabbed the packs, throwing one on my back and grabbing the other one shouldering it as well, then with my shotgun, I limped around the school to the field to meet up with Otis, _if_ he was alive that is.

As I came around the school the grassy incline to the back doors that led out into the field that had fences all around the place.  I stayed low behind a wall, as I heard and saw the walkers.  I moved slowly, keeping low to the ground as I went around the second building to where the field was.  I walked up the stairs then stopped as the fences surrounding the field came into view.

I saw a walker there that noticed me; I shot him in the head as he’d headed my way.  I limped toward it as walkers were trying to get at me through the fence, I turned and saw three coming from the side, I turned and walked to the fence, I rested my back against it as I pulled the last shell from my pants pocket and loaded the gun while walkers were coming at me from behind, the side and the front.

I felt them push against the fence I was resting on; I pushed back as I cocked my gun then looked at them.  I knew this was bad, as I saw part of the fence being pushed down.  I hit my elbow against it, a few were knocked back by the force, and I then aimed my gun at the ones in front of me.

I didn’t shoot though, they were getting closer and I was breathing hard, I had one last shotgun round and three walkers, I knew I was screwed, until a gunshot sounded and one of them went down, I saw Otis standing there with his riffle.  He shot a second one, and I took out the last of them.

I took off one of the packs and handed it to him as he turned around and we headed away from the fence and all those walkers.  “Man, I thought I’d lost you.”  I told ‘em as I passed.

“That was my last rifle round.”  Otis grimily told me.

“Mine too.”   I informed him as well.  “Come on.”  We both limped our way down the walk headed for the back alley that would bring us around to the street and to where we’d left the truck.  I wasn’t sure with this many walkers if we’d be able to make it though.  But I knew at least one of us had to for Carl’s sake, in the back of my mind I knew it had to be me.

We finally got far enough away from those fenced in geeks as we got to the back of the school and down the incline.  As I let go of the small fence Otis and I used to help us down with our injured ankles, Otis said.  “Come on, man.”

“We need a way out.”  I said as Otis leaned against another fence for support, I did the same resting my back against it as I looked down the street.

“Just let me catch my breath.”  Otis said between pants.

“Come on.”  I said calming myself down.  We didn’t get to rest long as a whole herd pressed against the fence we were leaning on.  We backed away as I aimed my pistol at them.  I grabbed Otis around the arm as he placed it around my shoulders then we used each other for support.  We limped away as fast as we could around the fence straight to the back alley.

We made it to the filthy alley behind the school, when my ankle gave out and I fell.  “Oh, shit.”   I said as I brought Otis down with me.   We both groaned as we laid there.

“Got to get to the street, double back to the truck.”  Otis said.  I had my doubts.

“Look, we ain’t gonna make it okay?”  I told him, I started to give up the hope that we’d make it back to the farm, with the supplies for Carl, I wanted to live, I wanted to survive, I was just so fucking tired from running.

“Got to try, man.  Come on, get up.”  Otis said as he stood.

“You’re gonna take these bags and you’re gonna go.”  I told him as I took the pack off.  I was done, given up, what happened next and in the week to come I wish he’d done what I had told him to do, leave me there.

“I ain’t leaving you behind.”  Otis was a good man, he deserved better than me as his partner in that moment.  I could hear the growling and moaning from walkers as they found us.

“Okay.”  I said as I hit the pavement, I noticed it splintered a little, I slowly rose to my feet with Otis, I grabbed the pack I’d taken off as I asked.  “How many rounds you got left?”

“Four, you?”

“Five and one in the pipe.”

They were getting closer, snarling and growling after us.  I stood then helped Otis to his feet.  We moved as fast as possible with our sore ankles, he turned and shot one.  I turned and did the same, watching it fall.

* * *

 

I made it to the truck threw the pack in the passenger seat and started the engine, then closing the door I drove for the farm, hoping I wouldn’t be too late to save Carl as I pushed the peddle to the metal.  I arrived at the gate, got out long enough to open it, and close it behind me.  I was greeted by Hershel, Rick, Lori, that Maggie chick, even T-Dog and Glenn who’d shown up at some point while I was gone.

I gave them the sad news about Otis; I didn’t know how to tell them what really happened, so I lied, I painted a picture of Otis’s heroic death.  They believed me, every word I said.  Then all we could do was wait for Hershel, who’d taken the packs with the equipment needed to save Carl, too come out and tell us the verdict.  If I was in time or not, I sat in front of the truck as the events replayed in my mind over and over and over again.

* * *

 

 

Friendship

Glenn's POV

 

After the news of the man named Otis not making it, I’d taken a pack in for Hershel, once he was set up I left closing the door behind me.  I saw Maggie come back in, she headed to the kitchen, and I could tell she was hurting, possibly needing someone to talk to, so I followed.

I didn’t say anything as I stood there, I didn’t need to say anything as Maggie looked at me, then she looked at the floor as she said.  “I’ve known Otis since I was a kid.  He’s run this farm since before my mother died.”  Maggie had tears in her eyes, and grief in her voice.  I moved from my perch against the counter, I walked to the fridge which was covered in pictures, men, and women, young, and old.

“Who else?”  I asked as I looked at her, I specified my question.  “Who’d you lose?”  She looked at me, tears falling down her cheeks.  “You told me I had to make it okay somehow.  That’s what you’ve been trying to do, right?  Which ones?”  I placed my handed against the white fridge that stood there with happier times on it’s doors.

She walked to the refrigerator and pointed to one of the pictures of an older woman who was smiling as she sat in a rocking chair.  “Stepmother.”  Her finger moved to a young man, could’ve been a little older then Maggie, possible he might’ve been younger then Maggie.  “Stepbrother.”  She took in a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry.”  I said as I hugged her.  She hugged back as her tears fell unbidden, I held her, and this was the start of a beautiful friendship, one that had many _bumps_  along the way.

* * *

 

 

Hated Myself

Shane's POV

 

After Hershel came out and we all stood up, I was still in front of the truck, he gave us the good news; Carl was stable and would be just fine.  I watched Lori go inside to see Carl, after Rick had left with Hershel to give Patricia that news about Otis, I followed behind.

I stopped outside the screen door as I watched Lori, she was watching Hershel and Rick telling Patricia, I heard her broken sob as I opened the door and walked in.  The door closed behind me as I took in the scene with Patricia, who was bent over while Hershel and Rick stood by her side as she cried for the loss of Otis, I pushed the guilt down that kept trying to rise.

I headed to the bedroom and looked in on Lori; she was on her knees next to the bed where Carl was sleeping.  She was sobbing; I think her tears were of joy, for her son.  She ran one hand over his hair, the other she placed in his hand; she looked up as I came into the room.

Neither of us broke the silence as I leaned against the wall and watched her with Carl.  Then she said the one thing I never expected.  “Stay.”  I knew what she meant, I slowly nodded.  She followed my nod with a nod of her own as she brought Carl’s hand to her mouth and kissed it.  I swallowed hard, and then I left her to be with him.

I wasn’t sure where I was headed, I just walked to the stairs when Maggie came out of one of the rooms and handed me a pile of clothes.  “The bathrooms upstairs.  I brought you some clothes.”  She said as I took them from here.

“Thank you.”

“They won’t fit well, they were Otis’s.”  Maggie looked sad as she walked away.  I knew I needed a shower, I was covered with dirt and grime, and I stunk of guilt as well.

I walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom.  I turned the facet on hot, and then took off my shirt, boots, and pants I left my boxers on as I set my gun on the toilet with my filthy clothes.   I turned to the mirror over the sink and looked at myself.  I had a necklace I always wore with a 22 hanging from it, the tattoo of some ex-girlfriend, and the scares of the past.

I looked in the mirror at myself, as the memory of what happened came back, again, it replayed over in my mind.

_“How many rounds you got left?”  I’d asked Otis._

_“Four, you?”_

_“Five and one in the pipe.”_

_They were getting closer, snarling and growling after us.  I stood then helped Otis to his feet.  We moved as fast as possible with our sore ankles, he turned and shot one.  I turned and did the same, watching it fall._

_Otis shot again, I fired again, Otis shot, I shot, and we went that way until I had one bullet left.  “Down to my last one.”  Otis said._

_“Me too.”  I knew I had to do something, we were going to die.  I had to save Carl; I had to be the one that lived.  I stopped and looked at Otis.  “I’m sorry.”  He looked confused.  I didn’t want to waste the bullet so I picked up my foot using all my strength I kicked Otis right in the knee cap.  He screamed as his knee dislocated and broke as his leg bent backwards then he fell to the ground._

_I grabbed the pack and pulled it away from him, the straps ripped a little as they gave way.  Otis fought me weakly as he cried in pain.  The walkers were catching up as they could smell the blood that was pooling at his leg where a piece of bone had torn open the back of it._

_Otis tried to grab at me, he missed, and as I limped away I heard Otis scream.  “I’ll kill you!”  I stopped at a bus on the side of the road, when I turned and saw him being eaten alive; he gave me this look of, betrayal, so I aimed my gun and shot him between the eyes.  That was the only mercy I could bestow on the man I just sacrificed to save myself, and Carl._

_I holstered my gun, shouldered the pack, and then I grabbed the edge of the bus and gritting my teeth I moved it to block the street giving me the lead I needed as they fed on Otis and were slowed by the bus._

_I made it to the truck and left for the farm._

I hated myself, I looked in the mirror and I didn’t like who I saw.  I realized then that I had to change my look, do something to get passed the revulsion I felt.  I searched the medicine cabinet, nothing.  I looked through the drawers until I found an electric razor.  I plugged it in, and started shaving my head.  At first I thought I’d miss my hair.  But as I finished, I ran my hand over the condensation that had built up from the shower that was steaming away ready for me to us it, I looked at my bald head.  That felt much better.  I got in the shower and washed away the dirt and grime, and the guilt just melted with the heat, I was no longer the Shane of the old world.  I was now a new Shane, one that would do whatever I had to, in order to survive and protect my family.


	4. Missing Scenes for Cherokee Rose

 

Reunited

Rick's POV

 

“Fever’s gone down.”   Hershel said as he checked my son over again.  I sat in the chair next to Carl as he slept, Lori next to me.  Carl started kicking his legs as he moaned.

“Baby?”  Lori asked as she moved to the bed holding his hand.  I stood up then as I leaned over.

“Carl?”  I asked as his eyes started to open.

“Sophia?”  Carl asked weakly.  “Is she okay?”  I didn’t know how to tell him that we hadn’t found her yet, he was so weak and asking for hope, so, I lied.

“Fine.  She’s fine.”  I just couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Rest.”  Lori told him.  “We’ll be right here, okay?”  She promised.

“Okay.”  Carl nodded lightly before closing his eyes and drifting off back to sleep.

T-Dog showed up then.  “They’re here.”  He announced; that’s when I heard Daryl’s motorcycle.  Lori and I stood as we headed for the door to greet them.  It was a nice sight when we walked out to see everyone there.  Daryl was just setting the kickstand for his bike when Glenn walked up to him, and then brought him in for a hug; it felt nice to finally be reunited.  As Daryl and Glenn parted Dale walked up to me and asked how Carl was. 

* * *

 

 

I Meant It

 Lori's POV

 

I left Glenn, Carol and Dale as I headed to the R.V. to use the bathroom.  I stopped short when Shane walked out carrying the bag of guns, he had his police cap on and a change of clothes, from Otis’ to his own which fit much better.  He stopped in front of me and we just stood there for a few minutes before Shane broke the silence.

“I hear he woke up.”  Shane said speaking of Carl.

“Yeah, he’s in and out, but yeah.  He’ll be all right.”

Shane laughed in relief, I did the same, and then he said.  “That’s good.”  We walked past each other as I headed for the R.V. and he headed to go the other direction, I wasn’t sure where to.

“Did you mean it?”  Shane suddenly asked and I stopped in front of the R.V. door as I looked back at him.

“What?”  I asked.

“You said stay.  Did you mean it?  Look, if you didn’t just say so.  But do it now, I need to know.”  Last night, when I asked him to stay, I was emotional over almost losing Carl, I was alone.  He was going to leave I told him to stay, and truth was I wanted him to stay.

“I meant it.”  I told him, I needed him to stay, I just wished I’d lied.

“All right then.”  He walked away and I went into the R.V. to use the bathroom.  It was my time of the month, at least it was supposed to be, and when I hadn’t started I figured I could be late, but I wanted to be on the safe side.

So I got the list together for Glenn to get the things we needed around camp, but I made a separate list, for a very important item, I also put some prenatal vitamins on the list for Glenn, since he was pregnant,  and it might be good for his baby.  Once the two lists were written I headed out to speak to him, privately, about the items before he and Maggie left.

* * *

 

 

Halfway There

 Shane's POV

 

After talking with Lori I headed over to one of the picnic tables I saw nearby, which is where I was placing the bag of guns to take inventory and clean before I let them be used for training.  As I pulled my pistol from the back of my pants Andrea walked up.

“Give up our guns?”  She asked, speaking of the talk we had when we set up the plan to search for Sophia and the rest of our group for our stay on the farm.  Hershel requested that we not carry out guns on the farm.  I agreed reluctantly with Rick to lay down our guns as long as someone remained look out on top of the R.V. with the riffle just in case.

“You heard Rick, we’re guests here.”  I told her as I took off my cap tossing it on the table.

“And you’re okay with it?”

“I don’t recall being asked; now lay down your weapon.”  I told her as I started opening the duffle.

“You may like rolling over, I don’t.”

“Look, I have to strip and clean them anyway, you still want to learn?”  She didn’t respond as she shifted her foot.  “Go on.”  She finally placed her gun on the table.

“All right.”  I said as I hiked up my pants and sat down.  “Sit down.”  I told her, she took off her pack and sat.

“Unload your weapon.”  I began as we got situated on the bench seats of the picnic table.  She picked up her pistol and pointed it in my direction as she prepared to unload it.  I took a finger and guided it away from me with a simple.  “Hey, hey.”

She pressed the button and ejected the clip.  “Check the chamber.  Pull it back.”  I instructed as I pointed to the top of the gun.  She flipped it over and pulled the top slide back.  “Push that lever out.”  I showed her right there on the side of the gun.  She took it out.  “It’ll slide off.”  Then turning it around she pulled it in the other direction and it slid right off.

She looked amazed.  “You’re halfway there.”  We set to work taking apart and cleaning the guns together.  She was an apt student that soaked up everything she learned about the guns, firing them; she wanted to know everything in order to survive.

* * *

 

 

I Was a Fool

 Daryl's POV

 

I started to head out not long after the conversation at the car, ‘cause I wanted to continue the search for Sophia.  As I headed passed the front of the house to the woods that would take me to the creak. Rick called my name, I hadn’t even known Rick was there; my thoughts were on Sophia, and not paying attention to my surroundings.

“Daryl.”  I stopped mid stride as I turned to face him as he walked toward me from the porch steps.  “You okay on your own?”  He asked.

“I’m better on my own; I’ll be back before dark.”  I told him as I started walking again.  Truth was that when it came to hunting and tracking I was better off by myself, others around just get in the way, even Glenn, he can’t handle himself in the woods I can.

“Hey.”  Rick called, I looked at him again.  “We got a base.  We can get this search properly organized now.”

“You got a point or are we just chatting?”  I asked gruffly as I took a few paces to him.

“My point is it lets you off the hook.  You don’t owe us anything.”

“Rick if you hadn’t noticed this is my group as well as yours, besides, my other plans fell through.”  I turned and walked off toward the woods, leaving Rick to talk to Hershel who’d come outside then.  I heard them talking as I kept walking.

“We could give you more space.  Set up over by the barn.”  Rick told him.

“No, no need for that.”  Hershel informed him.

I stopped as I felt like I was being watched; I turned and saw Glenn by the camp with a pair of binoculars watching me.  I smirked as I waved at him, he waved back.

“Better you stay close to the house.  I don’t say this easily, Rick.  We don’t normally take in strangers.  I can’t have your people thinking this is permanent.  Once you find this girl and your boy’s fit for travel, I expect you’ll move on.  We need to be clear on that.”  I saw Hershel walk away from Rick then before I turned back and headed into the woods.

My biggest problem then was I was so damn focused on finding Sophia that I never paid much attention to the noises in the barn.  I figured they were cows, or pigs, or other livestock, I had no idea and I had no reason to question it.  Besides I was in the woods most the time, it was at night when I really heard the sounds.

I was too tired by then to be curious, I blame myself and my need to find Sophia, I figured if I found her, then I could protect Glenn and our child from the dangers of this world.  I was so hell bent on proving my father wrong about me, that it was like looking through a tunnel and the only way out was with Sophia.  _I was a fool._

* * *

 

 

Whole Line of Problems

 T-Dog's POV

 

Dale and I headed to the generator shed after he told me that he wanted my help to gather water from a well Maggie had pointed out.  We got a cart and several jugs and buckets and other such containers to put the water in.  Once that was finished we headed out, I pulled the cart while Dale followed behind.

I was slightly out of breath as we got to the water pump that takes the water from the well and puts it in whatever we want.  “I’m not weak, and I’m not a coward.”  I told Dale then, it was the first chance I’ve gotten to speak to the man since yesterday, and I wanted to clear up that what I had been saying, about wanting to leave it wasn’t me.

“I never said you were.”  Dale told me.

“No, what I said on the highway—I don’t know what that was, where it came from.”  I informed Dale as I stood there while he was setting up the pump.  “That wasn’t me.”

I started pumping the handle as Dale set one of the gallon jugs down.  “If it’s okay, I’d rather you never told anybody about that stuff I said?”  I asked.

Dale looked at me confused as he said.  “What stuff?”  He shook his head as he continued.  “I couldn’t get a word out of you all day.”  I laughed as he smiled at me.  Then I continued to pump for the water into the bucket that was set there to collect it.

After a minute I spoke again on a different topic.  “Say man, you, think there’s a snowballs chance we’ll actually find that little girl?”

“For the first time in my life I’m betting on the snowball.”

“Yeah.  Me too.”  I agreed; Dale walked over to the well as I continue to fill the bucket with the water.  “Do whatever we have to.  I don’t care if I have to comb the woods like Rambo or fetch a pail of water.”  I finished using the pump as Dale looked down into the well that had a wood covering over the mouth; there was a splintered hole in the wood.  I continued to talk.   “Everyone kicks in, does their part.”  I wiped my sweaty brow as Dale knelt down and examined the jagged edges better.

“Am I right?”  I asked as he stood back up.  I picked up the ladle in the pail to take a sip of the cool refreshing water.  “Do your part, don’t complain.”  I started to bring the ladle up to my lips while I continued to speak.  “That’s what I always—” Dale interrupted as he knocked the ladle of water out of my hand before it touched my mouth.  I looked at him confused.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you.”  Dale told me.  I looked at him, then the well and realized what the problem probably was; while Dale uncovered the well I headed to camp to grab the others.  This was actually the first in a whole line of problems, some we solved, but most, ended up doing more damage than we could have _ever_ foreseen.

* * *

 

 

The Girl That Wasn’t Sophia

 Daryl's POV

 

I walked for a while before I finally came out into a clearing, where I saw a white two story house.  If there was ever a place for a kid to hide, it’d be a house.  The house had a brown roof, with a porch covering.

I took my bow off my back grabbed my last remaining arrow and clicked it into place as I walked up to the house, I had no idea what lay inside, it seemed the more stressed and desperate I got to find Sophia the less my abilities worked.  Which I soon found out was when I needed to keep a level head and focus if I didn’t want to get caught by surprise.

I walked up the porch and kicked open the double front doors with my crossbow aimed and ready for whatever might attack me.  I walked slowly inside, the floor creaking beneath my footfalls as I came to the first room on the left and peaked inside.  Finding nothing I swung around heading in the opposite direction.

I looked in as a bored squawked while I leaned inside, seeing and hearing nothing I backed out and I looked to my left and headed down the hall to where the back door stood open, I walked into another empty room, my bow ready for anything the whole time.

I glanced up the stairs as I paced to the room that looked like a kitchen; there was another room through the kitchen, looked in, it was empty too.  I turned and glanced down and saw something in the trash can.  I took a second look as I reached down and picked up an open tin, it hadn’t been there for long as I sniffed, smelled like sardines.

I looked back up as I tossed it into the trash and I saw a door cracked open, a good place for a kid to hide, or walker.  I raised my bow again and slowly made my way to the door.  I reached my hand and pulled on the handle, the door opened revealing a small pantry, with old canned goods, but on the floor were pillows and a blanket like someone had made it their bed.

I heard a creak above me then on the second floor; I got to the stairs and started up when I heard running and glass breaking.  I put on some speed as I got to the hall, I looked down one end, nothing, the other had a window that had been smashed out.  I got to the window and there I saw a girl running away from the house, into the woods on the opposite side I’d come from.

I knew it wasn’t Sophia, she was wearing torn jeans and a blouse that at some point had probably been white, she had long ratty black hair, and a backpack that had flowers covering it.  She turned and glanced back at the house, she had tanned skin and emerald eyes as she looked right at me, she couldn’t have been more than sixteen.  She took off, I had a feeling that Sophia had never been in that house.  I didn’t chase after her, she clearly didn’t trust people, and she had every right not to.

I walked back downstairs and headed out the back door.  “Sophia!”  I called anyways, I had to double check after all; I walked to the edge of house, than turned back and called a second time.  That’s when I noticed the white flowers nearby, I walked over to them.  I knelt down thinking, they were called Cherokee Rose thinking of the story Uncle Jess told me one time, after my mother died.  I picked them for Carol before I headed back to the farm, before it got too late.

* * *

 

  
I Hope So

Andrea's POV

 

After the incident with the walker in the well Shane and I got Carol and headed to the highway to see if Sophia had come back.  We were standing nearby as Carol stood at the car where we’d written the message on the window.  ‘Sophia stay here, we will come every day.’  Along with water, Gatorade, canned food, peanut butter, a blanket and a flashlight.   It was all untouched, Sophia wasn’t there, and there was nothing we could say or do to make Carol feel better.

I walked up to her and started rubbing her back as I said as comfortingly as possible.  “We’ll come again tomorrow.  You know there’s always the chance—” Carol cut me off.

“Don’t.  I really don’t need to hear it anymore, Andrea.  Save the thoughts and prayers.”  There was nothing else I could do as I left her to it.

“You never know, Carol.”  Shane said, but she stopped him as well.  He then limped after me leaving her alone to grieve or pray, whatever she thought she had to do to get passed her pain.

After a few more minutes we headed back to the farm through the woods, as we came out there were strong sturdy fences that would be good to use for when Shane started to teach us to shoot.  “We can hang targets long that fence line there.  That rise, it gives a natural backstop.”  Shane said before he spit into the grass.

“So how long before I can carry?”  I asked, he laughed.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“I’m not in a very patient frame of mind these days, Shane.  You might have noticed that.”

“No shit.”  Shane said.  “Look, I ain’t worried about you offing yourself, even though you got old Dale pissing his pants lately.”  I looked at him, he chuckled then continued.   “Yeah, I noticed that too.”

“He did come within a minute or so of being blown to hell because of me, to be fair.”  Shane stopped walking, I looked back at me.

“Look, I see you have the desire for gun work and desire will take you a long way.  But something you need to know, so file this carefully.”

“I’m listening.”

“Paper targets is one thing.  Easy to hit what ain’t moving.  But taking down an assailant, one that’s trying to kill you, it’s different.”  He reasserted his shotgun then started walking again; I kept up easily with his limping as we were in no hurry, while he continued to explain.  “They say in that kind of situation _things_ slow down, that’s crap.  They speed up, adrenalin.  It’ll cripple you if you let it.”  I looked off as he spoke and saw Carol was behind us just standing back while Shane and I checked out the spot to start training.

“You need to use your instinct.  You got to rule it out.  Because somebody is going to die and you’d better that you’re the one who’s’ making that decision.”  Shane paused as he set his shotgun against the fence post before placing his hands on it and just leaning there.

“How?  I mean, how do you do that?”  I asked him.

“Turn off a switch.  _The_ switch.  The one that makes you scared or angry, sympathetic, whatever.  You don’t think, you just—you act.”  He looked at me than.  “Cause odds are somebody else is counting on you.  That’s your partner.  That’s your friend.  There ain’t nothing easy about taking a man’s life no matter how little value it may have.  But when you get it done, you have to forget it.”  He chuckled then.

He looked off in the distance.  “I guess I haven’t quite got that last part down yet.”  He hung his head.

“But you’re getting there?”  I asked.

“I hope so.”  The mood changed as he tapped the fence and said.  “It’s a good spot.  It’ll do.”  Then he picked up his shotgun and headed back to camp, Carol and I followed.

* * *

 

 

Unpleasant Conversations

 Rick's POV

 

Hershel had knelt on the grass with his cane next to him as he pointed to the map and said.  “The interstate where you broke down is here.  There’s your creek, my farm is here.”  He looked up then and pointed in the distance.  “We’re looking out that way, south-southeast.”  Hershel stood and walked a few paces from where we’d parked.

I was still on my knee next to the map hat in hands as I spoke.  “We missed this branch of the creek entirely.  If she went that direction, she’d be miles from where we looked.”

I looked at Hershel as he said.  “Rick, take a moment.  Come look.”  I stood and walked up next to him.  We had gotten someplace high and down below I could see trees, pastures browned from the sun’s heat, and that creek running through it all.  It was a breathtaking sight of beauty as I saw more trees in the distance and hills so far against the clouds that it looked like the sky enveloped it all.

I put my hat back on as Hershel commented after a minute on the gorgeous scenery.  “That’s something, isn’t it?  It’s good to pause for an occasional reminder.”

“Of what?” I asked.

“Whatever comes to mind?  For me it’s often God.”  He looked at me as he asked.  “No thoughts on that?”

“Last time I asked God for a favor and stopped to admire a view my son got shot.”   I told him as I looked him in the eyes, he nodded as I continued.  “I try not to mix it up with the almighty anymore.  Best we stay out of each other’s way.”

“Lori told me your story—how you were shot, the coma.  Yet you came out of it somehow, you did not feel God’s hand in yours?”

I huffed for a second.  “At that moment?  No, I did not.”

“In all the chaos you found your wife and boy, then he was shot and he survived.  That tells you nothing?”

“It tells me God’s got a strange sense of humor.”  I turned then leaving the conversation as I knelt to fold up the map and head back to the farm.

As we got back to the farm Hershel headed to the house I followed, we stopped there as I looked at where we’d set up camp.  I saw Carol, Shane and T-Dog around a camp fire, Andrea was bringing out things to cook with.

“You need to reconsider.” I told Hershel who was behind me, watching.

“I beg your pardon?”  He asked.

“Asking us to leave.”  I informed him as I turned to face him.  “You need to reconsider.  If you saw how it is out there you wouldn’t ask.  You’re a man of belief, if you believe anything, believe that.”

“You’re putting me on the spot.”

“Well, I mean to.”  I took a few steps closer to him.  “Those people look to me for answers.”  I told him pointing the hand that held my hat in the direction of camp.  “I wish they didn’t, but they do.  But I’m not asking for them or myself.  I’m asking for my boy.”  I was desperate, this place could be home, this place could be safe, that’s all I wanted for my family.

He looked away as I continued to convince him.  “After the price your friend Otis paid, the least you can do is _give_ it some thought.”

“You’re a plainspoken man.”

“I’m a father.  He’s the one thing I don’t want to fail.”  I walked to the porch and sat on the steps as I looked up at Hershel.  “I feel like I do every day.”  I had my hat in my hands and my head down as I confessed to this man.  “I lied to him this morning.  It wasn’t a big lie, but it was enough.”

Hershel was standing there he put one leg on the steps and leaned in closer as he spoke.  “My father didn’t bother with comforting lies.  He used his fist.  He was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody.  He drove me form home when I was fifteen.  Didn’t lay eyes on this place again for many years.”  He looked at the house.

He looked back at me as he continued.  “I was not at his deathbed, Rick.  I would not grant him that and to this day do not regret it.  Some men do not earn the love of their sons.”  He picked up his cane and sat down next to me.  “I don’t see you having that problem.”

“Will you consider my request?”  I asked.

“There are aspects to this, things that I can’t and won’t discuss.  But if you and your people respect my rules, no promises, but I will consider it.  You have my word.”

We both stood then, I faced him and shook his hand as I said.  “You have mine.”  I went into the house shortly after and walked into the room to see Lori on the bed her arms around Carl who was sleeping.  She opened her eyes and looked at me.

“Hey.”  I said as I walked around the bed to the other side.  “I’ll sit with him.”  I informed her as I sat down in the chair; she combed her fingers through his hair.

“He was awake earlier when you were gone.  He asked for you.”  She kissed his forehead, then stood and left.  A few minutes later I saw Maggie and Hershel walk into the house, she didn’t say much as she headed upstairs telling Hershel she was going to check on Beth, who was still recovering after all she did for my son.  The more she used her gift the less of a toll it took on her body, though sometimes I think she hid the symptoms of something serious, she never said, and none of us ever asked.

I got some sleep off and on as the day went; it was nightfall before Carl woke.   I opened my eyes as Carl spoke.  “Hey, dad.”

I sighed as I said.  “Hey.”  I cleared my throat and leaned forward as I spoke, I wanted to tell him the truth, about Sophia.  “Carl, I told you something earlier today about Sophia—” Carl interrupted.

“I know, mom told me.”  I was kind of relieved to hear that.

“Here I was getting ready to confess.  I didn’t mean to lie; I just didn’t want to worry you.  It’s a stupid excuse but…it’s all I got.”

“It’s okay.  Do you think we’ll find her?”

“I know we will.”  I took a breath.  “Well…I don’t know.  But, I truly believe it.”

“You look tired.”

I chuckled.  “I am tired.”

“Hey, I’m like you now.  We’ve both been shot.  Isn’t that weird?”

“Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes.  So let’s keep that between us.  Since you’re in the club now, you get to wear the hat.  Didn’t you know?”  I took my hat and placed it on Carl’s head, he smiled as he grabbed the rim and moved it on his head, it was a little big for him.

“We’ll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better.”  I told him.

“Won’t you miss it?”

“Maybe you’ll let me borrow it from time to time.”

“We can share it.”

“Okay.”  Truth was, I never missed it, giving it to Carl; it was my way of casting off the old me, the one who would never have done what he ended up doing in the weeks, months and years to come.

I leaned forward grabbing the blanket and pulling it up on Carl as I said.  “Sleep now.” 

“Okay.  I love you, dad.” He said as he settled down in the covers.

“I love you.”  He placed the hat over his eyes and went to sleep.  I sat there as I looked at my badge, what had once been a symbol of civilization was now just a symbol of the past.  I stood up and walked to the dresser as I placed my first badge on top, then I took off my badge clipped to my shirt and placed it down as well.  I unbuttoned my shirt and started to take it off.

I folded it up and placed it in the top dresser drawer; I took the two badges and placed them with it.  I looked in the dresser mirror and saw Lori leaning in watching me from the open door.  She crossed the few steps between us as she stopped behind me.  With her help I got my undershirt off.

Her hand moved to graze just below the scar where I’d gotten shot, before joining this waking nightmare.  “Are you putting them away?”  She asked.  I didn’t answer as I pushed the drawer closed.  She wrapped her arms around me than and rested her head on my back.  I grabbed her arms as I looked at us in the mirror.

She kissed my shoulder, and up my neck before whispering in my ear.  “Stay with him a while longer.  I’ll wait up.”  She let go, and left.  It had been a long day, and in that one day I had three unpleasant conversations, I had no idea what tomorrow was going to bring, but it just had to get better, the relationship with my wife, _had_ to get better, that was just wishful thinking.

* * *

 

 

Positive

Lori's POV

 

I left my husband to be with our son as I walked outside, our tent was ready to be slept in I just couldn’t yet.  There was one last thing I had to do before I turned in, something I didn’t want anyone to know about, Glenn already knew more then I wanted him to but that couldn’t have been helped.

I had my little knife out as I headed passed the R.V. where Dale, Carol and Andrea were having supper.  Passed the tents that held Shane who was snoring, and Glenn and Daryl who were going at it by the grunting noises going on in there.  I looked back as I walked into the middle of the field near a dead log as I stuck my knife in it.

I pulled the white package that Glenn had given me earlier and pulled out the test.  I popped off the cap, then unbuckled my belted, unzipped and unbuttoned my pants; I pulled them and my underwear down as I squatted there in the grass.

I put the test between my legs and peed.  Once finished I stayed there for several minutes as I waited.  I finally got the nerve and looked at the test, and there it was, the plus sign that told me I was positive, pregnant.  The part that should be happy to see that, the part that should be excited to be pregnant, was locked up tight as I was gripped with fear and uncertainty.

How could I be happy to be pregnant when the son I already have has nearly been killed, first eaten by the undead and then shot by the living.  I couldn’t, I was terrified that this child would grow up in this world.

I was uncertain due to the fact that I had no idea how long I’d been pregnant, this baby could be Rick’s, but it could also be Shane’s, something that shames me and burns inside as a want, a need a desire to get rid of this kid before either Rick or Shane ever find out that I’m pregnant.

It was these thoughts that keep me from sleeping; it was these thoughts that confused me about my relationship with both my husband and my husband’s best friend.  It was these thought that haunted me in the following days, weeks, and months, right up until I gave birth.  And it was the actions of these thoughts that drove an unfixable wedge between me and Rick.


	5. Missing Scenes for Chupacabra

Confused

Maggie's POV

 

I heard some strumming as I walked out, I saw Glenn sitting there with a guitar; he stopped and stood as we took the few feet that separated us.  “Nice guitar.”  I told him. I didn’t really know what to say after yesterday, Glenn’s a good looking guy and I wasn’t sure I could just be friends, it was clear he was attracted to me.  I was just confused what he saw in Daryl.

“Dale found it on the highway.”  He informed me as I put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the house.  “I’m sorry about what happened.”  Glenn said.

“Forget it, it was my mistake.”  I was upset he hadn’t taken me up on my offer, and that he chose a redneck over me of all people.  Okay I was a little full of myself and while I understand that if you’re gay you’re gay, but Glenn was clearly bisexual and therefore I should win this game ‘cause I have the better assets then Daryl, at least that’s what I thought.

“No, I should’ve said something sooner; I didn’t mean to lead you on.  You’re an attractive girl but I can’t cheat on Daryl.”  Glenn said sincerely, so he did find me attractive, he didn’t have to cheat on Daryl he could just dump him.  That’s what I thought at the time and it was bitchy of me to even think that.

“Whatever.”  I said snidely as I walked off the porch, I understood, but I know he was in to me.  The part of me that said let it go and leave it be was being shushed by the part of me that really wanted Glenn, at any deceptive cost.  I glanced back at him with a shake of my head before I headed to the chicken coop, as I thought of ways to get into Glenn into my pants.

* * *

 

Completely Honest

Rick's POV

 

After Daryl left I gave Andrea and T-Dog their assigned areas and we grabbed rags to use as markers so we knew where we’ve been so we don’t go in circles.  Shane and I took red, Andrea and T-Dog along with Jimmy took blue and we split up.  I was coming back to where Shane was hammering one red rag into a tree trunk; I had been keeping an eye out for any walkers with the riffle.

I passed him as he put the small hatchet he had used on the rag back in his belt.  He picked up his shotgun and started following again as we continued our search, it had been quite so I decided to break the silence.  “You remember the name of that waitress at the dairy queen when we were in high school?”  I asked as I looked back at him.

He didn’t answer me; I scoffed as I continued talking.   “I know you, Shane, well enough to know that there is only one sure-fire way of engaging you in a conversation, and that is to start asking you about girls you did in high school.  I don’t want to, but I’m willing to do it if that’s what it takes.”

I looked back at him, for a minute I didn’t think he’d speak and then he answered my earlier question.  “Maryanne.  I told you about her?”  He asked.

“In excruciating detail.”  I informed him.

“Excruciating, my ass.”  He raised his voice as we started to split off but still stayed within talking distance.  “You used to live for those details back in the day.”

“Yeah, I was impressionable.”  I agreed, he laughed.  “And I may have been living vicariously through you.”  I told him.

“Why wouldn’t you, with my impressive list of accomplishments?  I was an artist in his prime.  A protégé.”

“You mean prodigy.”  I corrected.

Shane stopped as he looked at me.  “Maybe, is prodigy what you call a young high school stud that bangs thirty-year-olds on the regular?”

I walked over past him as he took off his cap.  “What thirty-year-old were you banging in high school?”  I asked.

He followed behind as he answered.  “The P.E. Teacher.”

“Mr. Daniels?”  I asked as I looked back at him.

“Mrs. Kelly.”  He was smirking.

“The girls’ volleyball coach?  Wasn’t she married?”

“C’mon.”

“You know what I just remembered?  Why I never ask you about this stuff.”

“Why don’t we talk about your high school love life then, huh?”  Shane suggested.

“Well, that’s a short conversation.  It may even already be over.”

“That right?  There was Holly, right?  Nope that was me too.”  We laughed, and then he continued.  “Then there was Sheila.  That’s the one you lied to me about.”

I turned and pointed at him as I defended myself.  “I never lied about Sheila.  I just got mixed up about what the bases meant.”  He chuckled as we continued walking.

“Just so you know, a home run, that’s usually means a sexual act.”  He hit his palm on the top of his gun as he made moaning sounds.  “That’s intercourse.”

“Yeah, I realize that now.”

“I think what you did was more like a ground rule double or something.”

“I’m aware of the judge’s ruling.”

Silence fell for a few seconds before Shane spoke up again.  “Shouldn’t be talking about this stuff.  That life, it’s gone and everyone in it.  Sheila, Maryanne, Mrs. Kelly.  It’s like we’re old folk.  All the people in our stories are all dead.”

“We can’t just forget them.”  I told him as I watched his back while he moved ahead of me.

“The hell we can’t.  It’s hard enough accepting what’s happened without digging up the past.”  He swung his shot gun around and took off his cap again as he wiped his brow then went on.  “I’ll tell you what it is.  It’s nostalgia.  It’s like a drug.  Keeps you from seeing things the way they are.  That’s a danger.  You got people depending on you.”

“You think I don’t know that?”  I moved so I could talk to his face not the back of his head as we stopped.

“I don’t know.”  He shrugged.  “What are we doing?  You got every able body at your disposal our scourging these woods for a little girl we both know is likely dead.”

“You think we should abandon the search?”

“It’s not my call is it?”  He turned and put his cap back on as he continued.

“I’m asking.  I’m asking.”  I said to his back as I followed.

“Survival, Rick.  It means making hard decisions.  But-but you got this knack.  You spread us thinner and thinner.  I’m trying to save lives here and you’re out saving cats from trees.”

“Is that was you think Sophia is, a cat in a tree?”  I asked as I got in his personal space stopping him in his tracks, there was anger in my voice.

“Don’t do that man, don’t twist my words.  How many times we get called up to look for a missing child, man?  You got seventy-two hours, seventy-two hours, and after that you’re looking for a body and that was before.  I mean you honestly think we’re just gonna find Sophia alive?”

I got closer as I asked.  “Are you that sure we won’t?”

“We being completely honest?”

“I’m counting on you to be.”

“It’s math, man.  Love or not, Sophia, she only matters to the degree in which she don’t drag the rest of us down.”  The look on my face said it all, he scoffed.  “I thought you wanted honest.”  He started to walk away but then his temper got the better of him as he turned back around with his voice raised.  “If we’d just moved on, man, we’d be halfway to Fort Benning right now and Carl wouldn’t have gotten shot.  You said so yourself.  But we’re out here, we’re risking lives.  Your own son almost died.  Otis, he paid that bill.  What the hell are we still doing this for?”

I walked the few feet between us as I put my hand to my chest and said.  “I had her in my hand, Shane; she looked in my eyes and trusted me.  I failed her. If I hadn’t, she wouldn’t be out here.  I think she’s still alive, and I’m not—I’m not gonna write her off.”  He looked to the side and huffed, I turned and looked at what he saw.

“It’s blue.”  Shane commented to the blue rag that was nailed to one of the trees.  “It’s Andrea and T-Dog.  Looks like we wandered into their grid.”

Shane started moving again to head back to our section and I followed, the rest of the time was silence, no progress was made that day, and I just felt, guilt and shame.  In that instant before I defended my actions I had agreed with him, I had thought he was right but then my guilt and moral code came up and bit me as I told him exactly why I was doing this.  It was a heavy silence as we finished up and headed back to the farm. 

* * *

 

The Problem

Lori's POV

 

I had gotten some water from a well that wasn’t contaminated and started to head back to camp, I passed Glenn who was sitting outside the tent he shared with Daryl, I heard him get up and follow me.  “Mind your own business, Glenn.”  I told him without turning back.

“You’re pregnant.”  He whispered, I put the bucket down and turned to him, it was written all over my face, I couldn’t hide the truth.

I put my hands together as I begged.  “You can’t tell anybody, okay?”  He saw something behind me, I turned and could see Rick and Shane coming, I looked back at Glenn

“You haven’t told him yet?”  He asked.  I didn’t answer; thankfully he didn’t press as he walked back to his tent.  I turned as Rick gave Shane his shot gun, then Shane walked off, it was obvious he was upset about something.

We met at Carol’s Cherokee; I put my hand on the hood as I asked.  “Something wrong?”  He followed suit as he watched Shane walk around and in the other direction behind me before he spoke.

“I just had a long talk with Shane.”  There was a moment’s pause.  “He wants to call off the search.”

“What do you think?”  I asked.

“What if it was Carl?  Would you want us to keep looking?”  He asked.

“If it was Carl, yes I’d want to know one way or another.”  I told him, a mother wants to know these things, no matter how heartbreaking they may be.

“Shane says my good intentions are making us weaker, that I can’t make the hard decisions for the good of the group.”

I shook my head as I commented.  “They’re all hard decisions.”

“But maybe I’m holding on to a way a thinking that doesn’t make sense, anymore.  He says its math, basic survival—how much fuel, how much food, how much ammo.  Not much room in that equation for being soft.  It’s pretty simple when you start thinking of life like that.”

I put my hands on his face so he’d stop speaking and said.  “Hey.  None of us were prepared to be living life this way.  You are making the best decisions you can with the information you have, I don’t see soft in that.”  Beth arrived then.

“Mr. Grimes.  My dad wants to talk to you.”  I grabbed his arm as he started to follow her.  I let him slip from my fingers, I can’t believe Shane; I know what it is.  He doesn’t like the fact that I won’t be with him anymore that I chose my husband over him.  I should’ve told him to go when I had the chance, but I’m just as confused as everyone else, I love Rick, that’s not the problem.  The problem is; I love Shane too.

* * *

 

Miscommunication

Rick's POV

 

Beth directed me to where her father was after I left Lori, I continued without her as she went back to the house, I walked behind the shed where the generator was and saw Hershel filling it up.  He looked at me and said.  “One of my horses is missing.  Did one of your people take it?”  He asked.

“I was given the impression you knew about that.”  Truth is I didn’t ask Daryl if he’d gotten permission, I was too busy getting the search party organized.

Hershel wasn’t happy though as he said. “I did not.”  He moved the empty container to the stack of other empty gas cans.

“I’ll have a word with Daryl.”

“And Jimmy?”  He asked as he put the cap back on the generator.  “You took him out today.  Did he also give you the impression of my consent?”

“No, he said it outright; I took the boy at his word.”  I informed him.

“Jimmy is seventeen.  He’s not my kin but I am responsible for him.  These things need to be cleared with me.”   Hershel finished hooking the generator back up and stood.

“Sound like we need to work on our communication.  What do you suggest?”

“Keep it simple.  I’ll control my people, you control yours.”  I nodded in agreement before I turned and walked away, while Hershel turned the generator back on.

* * *

 

Boundaries

Hershel's POV

 

After I talked with Rick I went back to the house through the back door.  I heard voices and plates clinking as I headed to the kitchen where they were coming from.  As I got to the dining room and looked through the open door ways I heard Lori.

“I never thought I’d be so happy to see a potato.  I’m just glad we’re not roasting squirrels over a fire in the woods.”  I saw Lori and Carol with Patricia and Beth as they were moving around the kitchen; this upset me, again more people not getting my permission to do any of these things.

“Thank you, Patricia, so much for letting us into your house.”  Carol said, I heard Maggie behind me and turned as she was setting up a second smaller table next to the dining table.

“What’s this?”  I asked.

“Lori and Carol are cooking dinner for us tonight.”  She explained.

“That’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I didn’t think it was that big a deal.  They want to thank us for helping them.”

I walked up to her as I spoke.  “We need to be setting clear boundaries with these people.  They’re getting a little too comfortable.”

“It’s just dinner.”

“What’s going on with you and the Asian boy?”  I had seen the way Maggie looked at him yesterday after they got back from the drug store, something happened, and I thought he was gay with that redneck the way he hugged him when they had arrived.

“Glenn, he’s a friend.”

“I’d rather he wasn’t.  Bad enough I have to chase Beth and Jimmy around.”

“Well, you don’t have to chase me around.  I’m not sixteen.”

“I know you’re not.  That’s why I’m counting on you to be the mature one.  You know how I feel.  Please don’t make things harder than they need to be.”  I should’ve been talking with Glenn; in the days to come he shows his true colors and I for one would’ve been proud to call him my son, he was more mature then any of my children ever were.

“I’m a little old for us to be having this conversation.”  My daughter didn’t talk to me, I wish she had, I wished she didn’t take the next actions she did and almost cost a very nice boy the love of his life.  She moved passed me.

“Don’t get close to them.  They’re not going to be around forever.”  I told her as she stood in the door way, she walked away.  I knew I was being hard and maybe if I’d let it go she wouldn’t have rebelled as badly as she did and the fight she had with Daryl may never have happened.  One can’t predict these things when I was being kept in the dark about this whole situation that would soon get out of control.

* * *

 

Mistaken Accidents

Glenn's POV

 

After the incident with Maggie, it had left me rather confused, then I talked with Lori about the pregnancy test that hadn’t gone well, I went to the tent I shared with Daryl and grabbed Dale’s book that I had just finished reading and went to the R.V. he wasn’t there so I sat at the table and waited with the book.  I had a question that needed some answers, to all this and to tell someone what had happened yesterday, I couldn’t tell Daryl, not like anything had happened because I had put a stop to it.  But still I thought after explaining that I was with Daryl and we agreed to just be friends everything would be fine, but now Maggie acts like she’s mad at me or something.

I heard Dale speak to Andrea who I had seen on the roof of the R.V. to keep look out.  “What’s with the Annie Oakley routine?”

“I don’t want to wash clothes anymore, Dale.  I want to help keep the camp safe.  Is that all right with you?”  She asked a little terse, later she’ll come to regret that move, especially after I got done with her, though I did regret my words and actions later.  Dale didn’t comment as he came through the open R.V. door.

I don’t know why but I apologized as I saw that now didn’t seem like a good time after what I just heard.  “Sorry, just returning your book.”  I forget the name now or even what it was about it hadn’t been important.

“Oh no, I’m sorry.”  He put down what he’d been carrying and picked up the book off the table.  “If I had known the world was ending, I’d have brought better books.”  He tossed it on the other side of the table then picked up his container again, the water sloshing as he walked to the back and set it down.

I stood then as I got up the nerve to speak and it sort of came out wrong what I was thinking about to explain the women’s irrational behavior, ‘cause let’s face it, Andrea wasn’t acting right, or Lori, or Maggie it’s like they had all just gone nuts.  Though with my hormone level I haven’t exactly been working on all cylinders either.  “Dale, you think Andrea’s on her period?”

He motioned for me to keep my voice down as I continued.  “I’m only asking ‘cause it’s like all the women are acting really weird.  And-and I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”  Who knew that later I’d become one of those hormonal women, it’s one of the few times that Daryl won’t come anywhere near me.

“I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.”  Dale told me I sneakered, he was right.

“Yeah.”  I agreed.

“Who else is acting weird?”  Dale asked.

I sat back down before I pointed outside and told him.  “Maggie.”

“Ah, Maggie.”

I went on to explain.  “She started off being mean to me.  Then she wanted to have sex with me, and now she’s being mean to me again.  And I don’t even want to know what’s going on with Lori.”

“What’s going on with Lori?”

“Nothing, I don’t know.”

“All right, let’s take this back a step.  How do you know that Maggie wanted to have sex with you?” 

I looked at him, then went on to explain what happened in the drug store, and how she seemed fine with just being friends, but there was something up, her attitude earlier today.  Dale shook his head, everything was fucked up.  “Son this could all blow up in your face, in my experience no one like’s being denied what they want.  And if Hershel finds out and it all gets turned around.”

“She’s 22; it was her decision to make, and mine to deny.”

“And he is our host; if she gets vengeful she could make it look like you tried to rape her.  You need to talk to her and clear things up if she really is angry at not getting what she wanted.  I’ve seen it happen so heed my words son.”

I just nodded ‘cause he was right, I needed to get this fixed and see why she’s so angry at me and make sure she understood that it can never happen between us no matter how attracted we may be to each other.

“Jesus, Glenn, what were you thinking to get yourself in this situation?”

“I-it just happened, I never meant to lead her on it was an accident.  Daryl doesn’t know; Dale he can’t know not until everything between me and Maggie is sorted out.”  I was upset now, everything was falling apart, and I stood and started to leave.  “Thanks’ for the book, you’re right, it sucks.”  With cap in hand I started too walk away headed for the house to talk with Maggie before Daryl got back.  But I turned at Andrea shouted on the R.V. about a walker.

* * *

 

Unforgiving

Glenn's POV

 

I was scared as I followed with Daryl’s bow, it was all I could do as we headed to the house, I saw Andrea and Dale run up to us, I felt angry, no pissed at what Andrea had done and at the moment I didn’t want to coddle her as she said.  “Oh my God.  Oh my God is he dead?”

“Unconscious, you just grazed him.”  Rick told her.

“Which never would have happened if you’d done as you were told.”  I snapped at her.

“Glenn not now.”  Rick told me.

I noticed the ears hanging from Daryl’s neck than.  “Look at him, what the hell happened?”  I asked panicking.  “He’s wearing ears.”

Rick saw Hershel and the others in the distance near the house.  He tugged them off and put them in his shirt.  “Let’s keep that to ourselves.”  Rick told us as we continued.

T-Dog suddenly piped up as something had fallen on the ground.  “Guys, isn’t this Sophia’s?”  We all looked at him as he held the doll that Daryl must’ve been carrying.

They got Daryl to the house and Hershel led upstairs to one of the bedrooms where Rick and Shane deposited him.  He was still unconscious as Hershel removed his shirt; I went out to our tent to get some things for him, clothes and a book for myself, as I was looking through his pack I found the ABC book from the diaper bag.  I hid it when I heard Maggie clear her throat behind me.

“Hey Glenn, you doing okay?”  She asked as I came out of the tent.

“Yeah, I’m fine it’s Daryl I’m worried about.”  I told her as I started to head back to the house.

“Wait, I wanted to apologize for this morning, I know your upset and I can see that you love him.”

“It’s cool.”  I started to walk past her when she grabbed my arm.  I looked at her confused then she kissed him, it was a good kiss as I closed my eyes and kissed back.  I shifted my arm to put around her when I felt the clothes suddenly heavy and I pulled away as if I’d been burned.  I just started at her in shock for a few seconds, then turned and headed back to the house.

I saw Andrea who was looking at the ground and probably didn’t see what had just happened, I hoped, she looked at me as I walked up the porch steps.  She stood and started to stumble on an apology when I stopped her.  “Andrea, don’t.  There’s nothing you can say at the moment to excuse what you did.  Rick told you not to shoot, but you shot anyways, and look what happened.  You’re inpatients got my boyfriend, my child’s father shot, an inch closer and he’d be dead.”  I turned and she grabbed my arm, I reacted out of anger and slapped her.

“Glenn, I’m sorry.”  Andrea said tears in her eyes as she held her face, it was barely red, it hadn’t been a hard slap, and by tonight any mark would be gone.

“Andrea, I’m sorry, I’m just scared and worried.  I can’t forgive you, walkers could’ve heard the shot, you not only threatened Daryl’s life, but the group’s safety.  I can let it go with time, but I can never forgive your incompetence.”  With that said I left her to her thoughts and her guilt as I headed upstairs to Daryl.

 As I got closer to the bedroom where Hershel was working on Daryl, I heard Daryl’s voice, it made me happy, but also deeply ashamed from kissing Maggie, I never could’ve foreseen I’d ever have adulterous thoughts or actions against Daryl, yet I did.  And while I’m not completely to blame I still blame most of myself.  I quickly buried those thoughts as I opened the door.

* * *

 

Being Realistic

Shane's POV

 

Rick and I left Hershel to finish fixing up Daryl and Glenn who was clearly waiting for us to leave so he could be with Daryl.  Lori was sitting on the ground waiting, she stood as she saw us, she walked up to Rick who hugged her and kissed her forehead as he reassured her.  “He’ll be all right.”  He started to head for the stairs as I held my cap in my hand.

“I hate to say it, but I’m with Hershel on this one.  Can’t keep going out there not after this.”    I told him not for the first time, we have to stop looking for a needle in the goddamn haystack and move on.

“You’d quit now?  Daryl just risked his life to bring back the first hard evidence we’ve had.”  Rick said as he walked up to me.

“That’s one way to look at it.  The way I see it, Daryl almost died today for a doll.”

“Yeah, I know how you see it.”  There was clear disgust in his voice, well that was fine with me.  He turned and walked off; Lori patted him as he went.

“I’m not out to be a hard case.”  I told her.  “Just being realistic.”  She huffed, I continued as I moved away from the door and Daryl’s hearing.  “He’s just got to start making the tough calls.  You know I’m right.”

“I may not agree with all of his choices, but I respect him.”  I turned to look at her as she continued.  “I now yours and mine and your way isn’t harder.  It’s the easiest thing in the world to cut our losses and to not help.  You keep telling yourself you’re making the tough calls.  You’re really just trying—”

I interrupted her then.  “The only thing I care about now in this world is you and Carl.  So I apologize if I appear to be insensitive to the needs of others, but you see I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the two of you safe.”

Lori walked up to me and put her hands on my chest.  “Even abandoning a lost child?”  She asked in a whisper.  “Really?”

“Yeah.”  That seemed to upset her, but I was just being honest.

“My son and I are not your problem anymore, or your excuse.”  She walked away.  I told myself that I did it all for them, everything I did from the moment I killed Otis was for them.  Though that wasn’t the real reason, the truth was far grimmer from what I told myself.

* * *

 

Unforgivable

Andrea's POV

 

I sat back on the porch after Glenn went inside with Daryl’s clothes.  I knew he was upset, he had every right to be, I myself felt incredibly guilty for my actions, Glenn was right.  I was impatient I believed I knew what I was doing and it got one of our own almost killed.  Dale came out a few minutes after Glenn left; I looked up at him and asked.  “How’s he doing?”

“He’ll be fine.”  He reassured me.  “What about you?”  He asked concerned, I didn’t deserve it.

“I shot Daryl.”  Dale moved then and sat down next to me on the porch steps before he spoke again.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.  We’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl.”  It actually made me smile, I looked at him and realized that I could forgive Dale; he just tried to save my life, what I did almost got someone killed, my fault.  And while I knew Dale was just trying to cheer me up, I couldn’t get Glenn’s words out of my head; his child had almost been fatherless because of me.  That’s unforgivable.

* * *

 

Hormones

Lori's POV

 

After the confrontation with Shane outside Daryl’s room I went back to where Carl was sleeping and sat down.  I’ve been on edge since last night, when I found out I was pregnant, and with the situation between Shane and my husband, the not knowing I started to cry.  I cried right until sunset, I had a rag at my mouth to use to wipe my tears as I continued to sob.

I looked at Carl and asked.  “Baby, what do I do?”  I heard a knock and quickly dried my tears as I looked up and saw Carol standing there.

“Dinner’s ready, you coming?”  She asked, it was clear she knew I was crying and I was thankful she didn’t ask, though she probably already knew part of the reason.

“Mm-hmm.”  I muttered in the back of my throat as I uncurled myself in the chair and started to put my shoes back on before I followed, I didn’t speak afraid that only tears would come out.  I knew that the biggest reason I was crying was due to the hormones.

“You need anything?”  Carol asked.

“Huh-uh, I’ll be right there.”  I managed to get out as I finished and she left closing the door behind her.  I dried at my face but it was pointless as another wave hit me and I bit back a sob in my throat as I grabbed Carl’s hand.  It was a few more minutes and I used the wash basin that had some water to clean my face, and dried it with the rag before I left the room to join the others for dinner.  It was nice to see Glenn there, though I did notice Carol pile his plate a little more than the others knowing he was eating for two, though we had no idea of the surprise we were going to be getting when it was time for Glenn to give birth.

* * *

 

Desperation

Glenn's POV

 

I knew I had to talk to Maggie, clear everything up and tell her the situation that I’m in with Daryl, I love him, I’m going to have his baby and for whatever her reason kissing me was it can’t ever happen again.  I headed downstairs there was too many of us to sit at one table, so a smaller table had been set up.  That’s where Maggie, Beth, Jimmy and I sat seeing as Daryl was upstairs.

The rest with Hershel at the head and Patricia, Andrea who I wasn’t speaking to, Lori, Rick, Carol, Shane, T-Dog and Dale.  It was quite the only noise being our silverware as we ate.  It was a tense silence really, Rick was upset at Shane for something, Hershel wasn’t happy about this whole thing, I wasn’t talking to either Andrea or Maggie at the moment and Beth seemed upset that Daryl wouldn’t let her help him.

I leaned against my chair as I watched then and want to break the silence, get rid of some of the tension in the room so I asked a simple question.  “Does anybody know how to play guitar?”  Hershel stopped eating as he looked at me.  “Dale found a cool one.  Somebody’s got to know how to play.”  I just thought some music might help and while I may know how to strum I don’t actually play.

Patricia spoke up.  “Otis did.”  That made me feel horrible, I had no idea and felt so sorry for her.

“Yes, and he was very good too.”  Hershel said and that was that, they went back to eating silently.

I turned around when Maggie passed me a note.  I opened it and read.  ‘We need to talk, where?’  I couldn’t agree more, so I took the pen and wrote down the best place where no one could hear hopefully not even Daryl.  I don’t know what Hershel thought as I passed the note back, but I had seen her look at him, and I knew he was watching us, she didn’t read it right away.


	6. Missing Scenes for Secrets

Carnage

Patricia's POV

 

I walked into the chicken coop and saw Lori and Carl feeding the hens through the wire mesh as I gathered the eggs.  It was the first day since the little boy had been shot that he’d gotten out of bed, Hershel told ‘em that he was healing up nicely.  It was a good sight as I paused to watch and listen for a few seconds.

“Don’t look so worried.”  Carl told Lori as he threw some more feed on the ground.

“It’s my job.”  Lori said as she dug into the small container hold her feed.

“No it’s not, you’re a housewife.”  I wanted to be a housewife, with Otis, we were even talking about it, and then all this happened.  Thinking about him makes me sad; I put the eggs in the small bucket I carried to hold them while the chickens were preoccupied with eating.

“Yeah, punk?”  Lori teased as she threw feed at him, he smiled.  “You see my house around here?”  It was good to see them smiling, Carl was doing much better, Beth taking his pain this morning helped, though I wish she didn’t have to.  A gift like hers is one that many would abuse if they ever found out, that’s why Hershel keeps her in the house most the time, trying to protect her from strangers who would take advantage of her kindness.  Lori was still smiling as she laughed at his comment repeating it even.  “A housewife.”

Hearing the chicks chirping was a beautiful sound; it meant that there was still life, even if it was nothing as it once had been.  “They don’t have a mother.”  Carl said, talking about the chicks.  They do, or did until I’d gotten a hold of her, and a few others, I knew what we were doing was wrong, but I trusted Hershel.  He said they were sick, and we believed him, Otis and me.  We didn’t know what had been going on, we didn’t understand, ‘cause on this farm it was easy to forget about all of them out there, we had no idea of the true carnage they could unleash, and that would be a lesson I’d never live through.

“She might be somewhere else.”  Lori said as she dusted off a feather while watching her boy continue to interact with the animals.

“Maybe she got eaten.”  I looked up then and saw Lori’s expression, one of shock, Carl continued.  “Everything is food for something else.”  There was wisdom in those words, before the sickness that has gripped our world, we believed to be the top of the food chain, but now, just like the chickens, we have become food for something else.

I turned and walked out of the coop then to take care of the meal for the men and women in the barn.  People I once knew, friends that I talked to, and laughed with, and it made me sad to see what they have become due to whatever illness has a hold of Georgia.

I opened the shed where we kept our tools and gas canisters, the full ones.  I moved some chains out of my way as I walked inside; it was near the chicken coop, I had placed the basket of eggs on the floor as I picked up the momma hen that Carl had been speaking of.  I walked to the far wall and looked out the hole and saw Lori was now standing and feeding the birds with Carl as they continued to talk.

I turned away and went to the table across from the two stainless steel sinks that we used to wash the food we prepared.  There was a burlap sack on the table that already had a couple of hens in it.  I moved the one clucking in my hands and grabbed a hold of her leg, I hated this part, it made me feel like a monster but it was my job to feed our friends in the barn.  Like Carl said, everything was food for something else.  So with a firm grip I broke her leg, she squawked in a pain, she cried out even loud as I broke her other one.  Then I stuffed her in the sack quickly, I hated myself for causing them so much pain, but there was nothing I could do.

I then took the sack with the few chickens in there that were clucking and moving and placed them in the wheelbarrow and started to roll them out to the barn.  I saw Nelly galloping past, looks like she made it just fine, Hershel had been worried she wouldn’t make it back after throwing Daryl off and running, poor girl.  She looks good as I got up to the gate and open it to get to the barn.

I stopped at the ladder into the loft and lifted up the sack, it was a slow climb, but I made it and then walked to the edge as I heard them, I could smell them it was horrible.  I then took one end of the sack and turned it over, dropping the hens into the midst of all the people.  It soon became a feeding frenzy as I watched the chickens try to escape but unable to due to me having broken their legs, I felt sad as I watched our friends eat them, I barely recognized them anymore, and it broke my heart.  I turned to leave, unable to watch the carnage any longer.

* * *

 

Want

Shane's POV

 

As Glenn walked away Rick and I laughed at his sudden departure as we bit into our peaches that Glenn had brought to us, Beth and Patricia walked up to us then.  “We’d like to join you for gun training today.”  Beth told us.

“Hershel’s been very clear.  I can’t involve any of you in what we do without his okay.”  Rick told ‘em.

“He doesn’t like it, but he consented.”  Beth informed him.

“Otis was the only one who knew guns.”  Patricia explained.  I leaned against the Cherokee as Patricia continued.  “Now that he’s gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves.  Her father saw the sense in that.”

“No offense but I’ll ask Hershel myself.”  As this went on I saw Carl standing near the R.V. playing with a couple of sticks, something seemed off, so I straightened and walked over while Rick did as he said, and headed to check with Hershel.

“Dude, nice lid, man.”  I commented on the deputy hat Rick had given Carl while he’d been recovering.  I walked around the hang over and tapped his hat.  “What’s going on?”  I asked wondering what the long face was for.

“I want to learn to shoot too.”  He informed me as I faced him, and then hiked up my pants as I sat on the front fender of the R.V.  “Can you teach me?”  He asked.  I chuckled.

“Well, man, that’s—that’s up to your parents.”  I took another bite of my peach I’d gotten from Glenn when Carl asked.

“Can you talk to them?  They’ll listen to you.”   I chewed and swallowed before I replied.

“We’ll see, okay?”  As he turned to go I heard a clicking in his pants.  “Hey.”  I said getting his attention.  He looked at me, with that look of ‘I’m busted.’  “Let me see what you’ve got there.”  I told him.

He lifted up one flap of his shirt and showed a small six shooter in his pants.  I threw the rest of my peach across from me in anger.  I took him to the picnic bench and informed Lori and Rick of the situation once he had finished his talk with Hershel, the two girls and Jimmy were getting a truck to head to the shooting range while we discussed the fact that Carl wanted to learn to shoot, which I was all for, but he wasn’t my kid.  Or my responsibility I’d been told, multiple times, still doesn’t mean I didn’t care for the kid, like he was my own, that’s what really made everything so hard with Rick, I wanted what he had.  A part of me, wished he’d stayed asleep, this want, for Lori and Carl, for Rick to be dead, or gone, it’ll get me killed, and I didn’t care. 

* * *

 

Sick vs. Dead

Dale's POV

 

While most of the group was at the makeshift shooting range I walked to the stables where I saw Hershel enter a little while ago.  Glenn had told me of the walkers in the barn he found last night, as well as Lori’s pregnancy, and him kissing Maggie, I couldn’t help him with that last one; it was his responsibility to tell Daryl.  As for Lori that is her business on whether she tells Rick or not, and as for the walkers, that one I had chosen to discuss with Hershel and figure out the reason.

“Nervous Nelly?”  I asked as I saw Hershel tending to one of the horses, making sure she hadn’t been bitten.  I walked into the stables as I asked.  “She find her way home?”

“Found her in her stall this morning.”  Hershel explained as I stepped up to the horse and patted her nose, then I grabbed some hay from a bucket hanging on the wall and fed it to her.

“I love your fields.”  I told him as a start, I didn’t want to get Glenn in trouble and it was safer if he thought I just stumbled onto it, I continued to speak getting to my point of being there.  “Took a long walk this morning.  I ended up by the barn.”  He looked at me, didn’t speak, but he knew what I was getting at, I elaborated.  “I heard the moans.”

“That’s unfortunate.”  He finally said as he picked up a brush and started to groom her, he spoke no further so I did.

“I’m sure you have your reasons for keeping this a secret.”  He needed to know that I was trying to understand, that he must have a purpose for what he’s done, for not telling us and for keeping Walkers locked up in the barn.

“I saw the broadcasts before they stopped; saw the irrational fear, the atrocities, like the incident at my well.”  He bent some brushing her underbelly, then rose back up.

“We put down a walker.”  I told him, for me it meant nothing, but I was trying to comprehend his way of thinking.

“You killed a person.”  The look in Hershel’s eyes when he said that, it was clear he didn’t approve and seemed disgusted by this fact.

I tried to explain so that he would understand that walkers are no longer people as we use to see them, they are monsters that will eat us, if we don’t kill them first.  “Well, if you watched the same broadcasts I did, you saw walkers _attack_ , _kill_.  They’re dangerous.”

“A Paranoid Schizophrenic is dangerous too.  We don’t shoot sick people.”  This is not that same thing, by far, this is nothing like what he was describing, and these _people_ aren’t sick; they _are_ dead, plan and simple.

“With all due respect, you are cut off from the outside world here.  But I’ve seen people that I cared about die and come back, and they’re not people.”  I tried to explain again.  He stopped brushing and looked at me.

“My wife and stepson are in that barn.  They’re people.”  That last statement seemed to be the end of the conversation as he went back to brushing Nelly, it was obvious that there would be no getting through to him about this subject, at least not as long as he thought of them as sick.

“I’m sorry.”  I told him.  “Let me help, I’ll speak to Rick he’s a good man.  We can make the barn more secure keep everybody safe.”  I felt sorry for his lose, but we needed to make sure that this place was safe, the barn was just made out of wood, and with enough walkers in there, they could break down those doors eventually and then the farm will get over run and it won’t be a haven any more.

“The barn _is_ secure.  Keep this to yourself if you want to help.  Rick is a man of conscience, but are you so sure about everyone in your group?”  Hershel asked, and he was right, Shane would go ballistic and Daryl would want to kill them all ‘cause then he’d know that Glenn and his baby were safe.  As for the conversation it was truly over.  I left to get back to work and Hershel headed to the house after he finished grooming Nelly. 

* * *

 

Turmoil

Lori's POV

 

As the afternoon came I saw Hershel nailing some barbed wire into the fence posts to help keep walkers out and us safe.  I thought I needed to thank him for allowing us to stay on his farm and all that he’d done for my son who was now up and about, we’d just gotten back from the shooting range and Carl did so well.  I walked to where he was, I stood on the other side while his back was to the barn that for some reason was kept locked, I didn’t question it, it didn’t matter at the time.

“Afternoon.”  I said pleasantly as I walked up to him and stopped.

“I take it your boy did well.”  Hershel said speaking of the target practice.  I looked over where Carl was talking and laughing with T-Dog, Glenn laughed as he walked by them to the tent he shared with Daryl.

“Not bad actually.”  I said with a smile as I looked down.

“Be grateful you don’t have a daughter.”  He said lightly as he stood up from grabbing more nails.  “If only things were as simple as wanting to shoot.”

“Carl’s getting that chance, thanks to you.  And I’m eternally grateful for what you did and your hospitality.”  He was setting the nails on the post, I continued.  “We’ll earn our keep.”

“I appreciate that, but with Carl getting better, I imagine you’ll be moving on soon—” That was when it hit me, Hershel expected us to leave, just move on and forget the only place we’ve been safe in weeks, no, months…“Fort Benning, I hear.”  He put a nail in the post and continued to work as I left him to it.  I was shocked, did Rick know, and if he did why didn’t he tell me, how could he keep this a secret from me, from us.  Carl likes it here, Glenn was getting used to having a full stomach, we all were.  And what about me, I’m pregnant to; I can’t have this baby on the road with walkers around ever bend.

I saw Rick checking the guns that had been returned to the bag after target practice, he was standing at one of the picnic tables that we had set up with a table cloth and lantern for when it got dark.  I stopped next to him as he checked one pistol’s chamber, I don’t make small talk I got right to the point.  “Hershel expects us to leave?”

He didn’t answer, but his eyes said it all as he looked at me.  “Does anybody else know?”  I asked wanting to know if I’m the only one out of the loop here.

“Not yet.”  He answered; we both looked as we saw T-Dog setting up some things to cook lunch.

I looked down at the table as I asked my next question.  “Were you gonna tell me?”

“Of course.”  He said immediately.

“When?  How long have you known?”

“Not long, you don’t need to worry about this.”  He continued working on the guns.

“How can you expect me not to worry?  We have shelter here and food and water and medical care.”

He paused in his movements as he faced me to put my worries at ease.  “I’ve been talking with Hershel; it’s not carved in stone.”

“He thinks it is.  We have to fix this.”  I told him.  “People are settling in here, they’ll be devastated.”

“I know; I’m working on it.”  He got closer lowering his voice so T-Dog and especially Daryl who was in the tent not far wouldn’t hear us, though we didn’t know at the time that Daryl was quite busy with Glenn at the moment.

“Maybe I can talk to him too and plead our case.”  I suggested.

“No, things are uneasy; the best thing right now is to give Hershel some space.”  He said as he motioned towards the farm house.  I couldn’t believe he said that, how long are we to wait, how long before we have to start packing and move on.  Apparently I was more transparent then I had hopped.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”  I asked as if I didn’t know how I’d been looking at him.

“Like you’re scared, like you don’t trust me.  I can take it from everyone else, but not from you.”  He told me, I knew I was scared, and a part of me didn’t trust that Rick could fix this.

“I don’t understand how you could keep something like this from me.”  I told him, though I should never have said that simply because I was keeping something much bigger from him.  And it was this revelation that this safe haven wasn’t as permanent as we all thought that spurred my next actions for the day.  The realization that I couldn’t be on the road pregnant, Glenn might be able to, but that’s just too scary to think about.

He looked away from me.  “Carl’s barely on his feet, and Sophia’s missing, and Glenn’s pregnant, and Daryl and T-Dog are hurt.  How can we leave?”  I asked desperately leaving out the fact that I to was pregnant.

“It’s not what I want either, but if we have to go, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you and Carl are okay.”  He placed his hand on my face in a loving manner as he continued.  “We’ll get by, we will.”  He assured me, and I wanted to believe him, I just didn’t rely on him at the moment, and took matters into my own hands.  He lowered his hand as I relented to his promise.

Dale had started cooking some sort of meat, fish possibly I didn’t know, I just knew that the smell was making me sick.  Glenn was in the tent with Daryl ‘cause he couldn’t stand it any better than I could.  Dale had the pan as he stood and Carol held out her plate an empty cup in her other hand as he placed one of the fish on it.  As she passed me I used my hair to cover my nose and walk away, Dale saw me.

I sat next to a tree away from where the smell was coming from and Dale after putting down the food and spatula, followed me.  I looked up at me as he came to stand next to me, it was obvious he wanted to say something, it was his expression, he knew, and the words that came out said as much.

“My wife was pregnant once.  She, uh- miscarried and we didn’t try again after that.”  He looked down at me; there was no judgment on his face, just understanding.

“I’m so sorry.”

“The thing that I remember most is how nauseated she became at the smell of cooking meat.”  I huffed a small laugh at that.  “And she was a meat-eating gal—my wife, but with the pregnancy—that Thanksgiving, the turkey—” I laughed as I knew what he was getting at.  “She couldn’t be in the house for two days until it was aired out, poor thing.”

“Glenn told you?”  I asked as I looked at the ground before looking back up at Dale for his answer.

“What did you expect?  The boy has no guile.”

“I haven’t told Rick.  I can’t.”  He hiked up his pants and knelt down as he asked.

“Because of Shane?”

“Was it that obvious?”  I asked in whispered horror.

“No, no, I don’t think anyone knew.  I didn’t, not for sure.”  He was trying to reassure me, but I didn’t know if I believed him.

“Look, I thought my husband was dead.”  I looked in the distance unable to meet Dale’s eyes as I continued to explain my actions.  “And I felt like I died with him.  And I—I wanted to feel something—anything.”  I shook my head tears in my voice.  “And now I hate myself for it.”

“And the baby?”  Dale asked.

I faced him again as I told him.  “It’s Rick’s.  None of the rest of it matters.”

“Then what’s your concern?”  Dale asked confused.

“Memories are what keep me going now.  Memories of what life used to be.  And I—I’ve got a deep well to draw on.  I still remember joy.”  Tears sprang to my eyes as I continued.  “But I think Carl’s well is already running dry.  And this baby—the baby won’t have any good memories at all, only fear and pain.”

Dale put his hand on my shoulder as he said.  “You can’t think like that.”  I laughed, though it was a sad sound this time as I looked at him.  “We can still find joy and we can still take strength from each other.”

“Do you really think this baby has a chance, that it could grow up and live a happy life?  Look me in the eye and tell me that my baby will grow up to be your age and—and die happy.”  The look on his face said it all.   “Tell me, tell me you believe that.”  He didn’t speak, he hadn’t needed to.  I stood then and walked away as I knew what needed to be done, I saw Glenn chopping fire wood and headed over to request the item that would end this pain I was in, this turmoil that I was in, I had to get rid of this baby and Rick needn’t ever know.

After a small confrontation with Maggie about my morning-after pills that I had Glenn go get, he had taken Maggie with him obviously, I sat in the tent I shared with my husband deciding on what to do, I didn’t know if I wanted to take them or not.  That was the problem, Glenn came back a few minutes later and told me I shouldn’t make this decision alone, and gave me prenatal vitamins.  Then left me to make up my mind, I wanted Rick to know, but if I took these pills and it worked killing the baby I didn’t want that on his conscience.

I sat there crying for a little while before I finally took a few of the packets and popped out all the pills.  I threw them in my mouth and drank the water in a small blue mug swallowing them.   I hated it; I wanted this ever churning turmoil in me to come to an end.  I had tears running down my face as I looked at my belly and sobbed at what I had done.  I panicked as I ran out of the tent and into the woods a little ways and fell to my knees, I stuffed two fingers down my throat and threw up the pills I had swallowed, I couldn’t do this, the mother in me couldn’t let this baby die.  I counted the pills to make sure they were all there, when I was sure I stood up and walked to the fence nearby and stayed there looking out at the field, it was getting later as the sun was near the horizon.  My turmoil wasn’t over yet.

* * *

 

Target Practice

Andrea's POV

 

Rick and Shane had set up bottles and cans for us to practice on; frankly I felt that was a little boring.  They were doing a walk by everyone, checking them out, Carol wasn’t shooting she was using the binoculars to watch out for walkers due to all the noise we were making.  Patricia wasn’t doing half bad.  Jimmy held the gun sideways, T-Dog was next to him and I heard him speak.  “Hey, come on, man.  Don’t give me that gangsta shit.”  Jimmy straightened the gun and putting both hands on the butt of it fired, he shot his bottle.

Shane patted T-Dog’s shoulder and told Jimmy good job.  I had finished my shooting; Shane walked up next to me as he spoke.  “Don’t be discouraged.  You’ll hit the target eventually.”  I noticed T-Dog instructing and demonstrating for Patricia and Jimmy.   Then I replied.

“Who says I didn’t hit my target?”  Shooting cans and bottles was to easy and not as much fun, so I shot something else.  He took the binoculars back from Carol; then looked through them as Rick walked up on my other side.  I had shot three holes in the O of the ‘No trespassing’ sign that hung below the fence where all the targets had been set up.

Rick and Shane shared a look and then he pulled his gun out.  “Try this one, its heavy.  You get better balance, twice the rounds.”  He told me, I took it and weighed it for a second as I looked at Rick who nodded and backed up.  I held it with both my hands and aimed; I steadied my breathing as I took a breath, and then fired making the can fly.

“I’d say she’s got the hang of it.”  Shane said.

“I’d say she’s ready for the advanced class.”  Rick agreed.  He walked back up next to me.  “It might be worth your while after the rest of us head back to camp.”

“Sure, why not?”  I asked as I looked at him, I had nothing else to do; besides this is what I wanted to do in the first place, back when Rick had agreed to Hershel’s rule of no guns on the farm.

“How’s it feeling?”  Shane asked me.

“I like the weight.”  I glanced at him then back at the gun as continued.  “So, you decided not to leave us.  Something change your mind?”  I asked.  I had no idea how loaded that question really was.  I walked away not realizing that there had been something off with Shane after I asked that, ‘cause while some knew about him and Lori, I was clueless, completely in the dark.

I walked a little ways and saw Carl shoot one of the cans.  Rick was clearly proud as he patted his son on the back telling him he got it, Lori on the other hand seemed a little apprehensive.  Though I guess that should be expected considering that he had just been shot and was now learning to shoot himself, that would be cause for any mother to be concerned.

I watched the others as they finished up and Rick and the rest headed back to camp, then I followed Shane further into the woods we were close to and he had a rope with him, he took a log and hung it swinging on one of the trees for the advanced class.  This one was a bit harder as I shot several times and missed.  I just couldn’t line up the shot.

I lowered my gun as Shane stopped the log.  “Still a virgin.”  Shane said as I hadn’t hit it once.

“The target’s too small.”  It was a lousy excuse and he called me on it.

“Come on that’s crap.  Half hour ago I saw you nail a bull’s-eye at twenty-five feet.”  He faced me with his arm on the log.

“It wasn’t moving.”

“You think a walker’s gonna hold still for you?”  He asked incredulously.  “Focus and reload.  Go again.”  He swung the log.  I pulled a clip out of my pants and slapped it in the butt of the gun while he walked back behind me.  I aimed, and fired, it missed.

“Uh-oh, did I piss you off?”  He walked behind me; I looked at him as he continued.  “Come on, girl, you’ve got walkers all around you.  They’re in the woods, they’re in the R.V.  You’re gonna need more than a damn screwdriver.”  He was trying to rattle me and I didn’t like it, he was right next to me as I spouted off.

“Stop badgering me.”  I was upset, and Shane was an ass, he just continued to try and get to me.

“You’re too damn emotional.  You need to shut it down take all that guilt, take that fear, that being pissed off, take it out.”  I looked at him.

“Right, ‘cause you’re so calm.”  He pulled out his pistol and fired, blasting a bullet through the still moving log with just a glance at it.

“See that?  See, I can be pissed off.  I could be whistling ‘Dixie’ and I’ll always hit the target.  But you, God, you shoot like a damn girl.”  That’s because I am a girl.  “You stand here, and you point your weapon.  Point like you point your finger, do not think about it.”  He continued to instruct as he walked back to the log to get it swinging again.  “I’m talking about muscle memory, girl—muscle memory.”  He shoved the log hard; it swung a little fast and nearly broke the rope it was hanging on.  Shane stopped it and tried again, keeping his strength in check.

“Now go on!  Shoot that son of a bitch.”  I aimed again, fired and missed.  “He’s coming for you!”  I missed.  “He’s ten feet away!  He’s nine feet—” Missed.  “He’s five feet away!”  Then he took it too far.  “Right there, that’s the walker that got Amy.  Now you shoot that son of a bitch! Shoot him!”  I looked at him, I couldn’t believe he’d brought my sister into this, she hasn’t been dead a week and he used that to get me to hit my target, big mistake.  I turned and walked off, I didn’t want to see him now, he’d gone too far, I headed for the road I didn’t want to head back to the farm at the moment my “emotions” were to raw for me to deal with anyone at that point in time.

I walked out of anger, I was upset, downright _pissed_ at Shane for what he’d said, and when I heard his green V.W bug driving up to me, I did _not_ want to speak to him.  “Come on; let me give you a lift.”  He suggested as he’d slowed to drive next to me.

I’d taken my hat off and had a firm grip on it as I answered him not even glancing in his direction.  “My feet work just fine.”  He slowed then sped up suddenly and swerved in front of me and parked.  I walked around as he opened the door and lend against it as he spoke trying to get me to stop.

“Look, I’m just trying to get you rattled, give you an idea what it’s like when the shit starts to fly.”  He closed the door and followed after me.

“Is that an apology?”  I asked anger evident in my voice, I didn’t stop moving but I did look back at him.

He took off his cap and sighed as he relented.  “I crossed the line when I brought Amy into it.  Yeah, it’s an apology.”

I stopped and faced him.  “You’re a real dick sometimes.”

“Yeah, I acknowledge that, I’ll tell you what.”  He continued speaking as he walked closer to me cap in hands.  “I’ve got a lead on Sophia; I’m gonna go check it out.  Why don’t you come with me, be my backup?”  Shane asked as he stopped a few feet from me.

I thought for a minute then nodded, he smirked as he motioned for the car with his head and we both headed back, once buckled in he put it in drive and headed out towards a suburban area.

Shane slowed the car as we saw all the houses, no walkers out as he stopped next to one of the sidewalks.  We got out; I reloaded my pistol quietly trying not to draw any attention to our location.  I put my gun in the back of my pants as Shane looked through his binoculars checking for walkers, he didn’t see any, he put them back in the car and we started walking towards the row of houses.

 “We’re gonna have to go house to house.”  Shane whispered.  “We’ll start at the far end and we’ll work our way back.”

“If Sophia got this far, she has a real shot, don’t you think?”  He didn’t answer my question as we continued to walk for the house he’d suggested.

We checked every house from the far end to the current one across the street from our car and so far nothing, a few walkers we dispatched without the need to fire out weapons.  We had our pistols out as Shane jerked the door open; the knob splintered off and made more noise than either of us wanted or needed.  He muttered a curse and something about getting his strength under control.  We entered the house; there were upturned tables and chairs.  “Sophia?”  I called.  “Anyone?”  I walked further in as Shane made a shushing noise.

Everything was dark and difficult to see through.  “Sophia?”  I called again lowering my voice.  Shane had gone the other direction; we both went around an island in the kitchen and saw the blocked entrance to the hall.

“They walled off the hallway?”  I asked looking at Shane.

“They tried to make a stand here.”  It was a piece of wood that served as their barrier between them and the walkers.  But it didn’t work as there was a jagged hole in the bottom covered in blood, Shane knelt down and slid through the hole, I followed.

As we walked through the hallway we came to a room, looked like a nursery as there was a crib against one wall and a changing table across from it, and between the two were a bunch of dead walkers.  “Sophia?”  I tried again.  We went passed that room and down some stairs where barricade was set up, it was a table, iron bored and a small fence meant to keep babies and pets from getting to certain areas.  Shane used his foot pushing it out of the way.

That’s when we got to the garage, it was horrible, there were charred remains and just burnt walls like someone had started a fire, it had killed everyone in the room.  Shane walked further taking his cap off again as he sighed at the carnage before us.

“She was never here, was she?”  I asked, I knew the answer, I just really wanted some hope, I was asking the wrong guy.  I knelt down as he didn’t answer.  “I don’t know how to tell Carol this was another dead end.”  Suddenly we heard snarling and groaning, Shane bent and looked under the somewhat open garage door, I saw them to from my knelt position; several walkers coming for us.

 Shane ran at the door and then jumped onto the small foot hold to push the door down, it came crashing down with his strength onto the walker that had been crawling toward us and crushed its middle.  It was stilling crawling its guts spilling on the ground; the other walkers were banging and pushing at the garage door.  Shane slammed his boot into its skull killing it and then said.  “Come on, let’s move.”  As he quickly headed out the way we’d come, I followed after.  We got out the front door guns aimed and ready as there were more walkers along the streets.

“Cover that street, I’ll clear the car.”  Shane instructed as walkers were all over the place and headed straight for us.  He shot off four rounds and all four walkers around the car dropped like weights.  I aimed and fired at one who used to be a woman, I hit her in the chest, and she still kept coming.  I tried again, hit her stomach.  I pulled the trigger to fire again and it just clicked, my gun was jammed.

“Oh shit.”  I muttered.  I started to try and clear it so it would fire; Shane shot the woman she dropped.

“Focus now, clear the jam.  Focus.”  Shane told me, I dropped the clip out of the gun and tried to get it to work as I pulled back on the slide and it clicked again.  I finally got it and shoved another clip in, I cocked it and aimed.

I looked over at Shane as he lowered his gun as one walker guy was coming towards me.  “Are you kidding me?”  I asked loudly, this was not the time for a target lesson.

“I got your back, go.”  As it got closer I just fired blowing a hole out the back of its head.  Then everything just clicked into place.  I was pissed; I fired one, two, three time they all dropped.  “Andrea, Andrea, let’s go.”  Shane called, that’s when I saw her.

I knew she wasn’t Sophia, right away, she was wearing torn jeans and a blouse that once was white but now was yellow and brown with stains, she had long ratty black hair, and a backpack that had flowers covering it, she had tanned skin.  She was looking at me, past all the walkers that Shane and I were shooting at.  She had emerald eyes as she looked right at me; she was a teenager hard to tell how old through all the dirt caked on her.  She just stood there watching.  I turned to fallow Shane not sure if he’d seen her or not as he got in the car.  More were coming from the other direction, we were about to be cornered.

I got to the car when there was this shrill whistle, and the walkers in front of the car all turned and started to go after the little girl, she turned and ran.  I saw a walker as it tried to grab her, Shane wanted me to get in the car.  I lifted my pistol, aimed and fired, the walker dropped before it touched her.  Then she disappeared around one of the houses with the walkers following.  I got in the car and the walkers behind us tried to keep up but couldn’t.  I don’t know what happened to the little girl, I never saw her again.  But she saved us that day, I just know it.

I smiled though, that girl saved us, and I figured out how to shoot a moving target in the head.  I was watching the scenery going by as Shane drove us back to the farm.  I looked at him, I wanted to think him, but I’ve never been good at those, so being the kind of girl I was, probably still am.  I placed my hand on his crotch; he looked at it as I rubbed him through his jeans.  He looked at me, and as our eyes met we both knew what the other was thinking.

He slowed the car and put it in park.  “Come on then.”  He told me, I moved to get on top of him as he grabbed the back of my hair and we kissed.  We were both horny and in a hurry there was no time for preambles like lube and condoms.  I maneuvered myself to pull my pants down it wasn’t easy but once they were Shane just ripped my underwear that was covering me, I didn’t give a fuck as we continued to kiss.

I unzipped him and gasped in sheer pleasure as I felt his hard cock enter my wet mound.  I needed him so bad, he moaned as he thrust into me, it didn’t last long as we both got off quickly, his hands on my hips as he helped lever me up some and then let gravity do the rest.  It was hard, and fast, and just what I’d been missing.  We cried out together as we both came.

I moved off of him a few minutes later and there was some paper towels he cleaned himself and I cleaned up then pulled my pants back up hiding my torn panties as he zipped himself and threw the car in drive and headed out.  I had during that time started developing feelings for Shane, they never went anywhere and as much as I wanted to continue to have sex with him, other things got in the way and it just never happened.  Though after I learned what became of him, I’m kind of glad I didn’t get more involved with him.  He was a real jerk.

* * *

 

Message

Shane's POV

 

I drove us back to camp, and turned the car off.  Andrea and I got out closing the doors, she was smiling, not only did she learn to shoot a walker in the head, she also got me, we had sex before getting back to the farm and it was good.  I hadn’t felt anything for her like I did with Lori, but the sex was still good, though we hadn’t had a condom so hit and miss situation, I wasn’t going to worry about it.

Dale and Carol had come out of the R.V. Carol stood next to Dale and asked.  “Anything?”  I sighed and shook my head.

“Not today.”  I told her.

“I’m so sorry.”  Andrea said as Carol walked up to us.  “We’ll cover more ground tomorrow.”  Dale’s not an idiot and that’s the problem with him.

“What happened out there?”  He knew the looks between us.

“Um, I—”

“The place was overrun.”  I said as I sideways glanced at Andrea.

“Yeah.”  She agreed.  Dale obviously didn’t believe us.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up.”  Carol said as she put her arm around Andrea and headed for the R.V. leaving just me and Dale to talk.

I walked passed him; he followed and called my name a couple of times before I acknowledged him.  I turned around and faced him as he told me what he wanted.  “I was thinking; you’ve got that nice new ride of yours, plenty of fuel, more than enough for you to get far from here.”

Something must’ve happened ‘cause until this moment Dale hadn’t really said anything about not wanting me around, it could be that he knows what went down between me and Andrea, or me and Lori or ‘cause I’d had Rick in my sights back at Atlanta.  Either way he wanted me gone, and I wasn’t going to leave, not as long as Lori wanted me around and certainly not ‘cause I felt threatened by Dale, ‘cause I didn’t.  “What, you telling me to leave?”  I asked.

“I know you’ve been planning to.  Maybe now is a good time.”

I huffed a laugh.  “Is this about Andrea?”

“I’m looking out for the group.”

“You think the group would be better off without me, Dale?  Why don’t you tell that to Rick or Lori?  Their boy would be dead if I hadn’t put my ass on the line.”

“And Otis’s.”  Dale reminded me, he knew, I knew he knew what I did, how I sacrificed Otis for Carl.  That’s a lie, I hadn’t really been thinking of Carl when I crippled him, I just didn’t want to die, I did it for myself plan and simple.  I turned and started to walk away, Dale continued to speak as he followed me.  “You’ve been vague about that night, about what happened.”

I turned to the side not really looking at Dale.  “Otis died a hero.”

“So you’ve said.”

I looked at him then.  “A little boy lived because of what went down that night.  I think you ought to show some gratitude.”

“I wasn’t there.”

“No, man, you weren’t.”

He got up in my face while he said.  “But I was, the time that you raised your gun on Rick.”  I muttered putting my hand against my eyes as he continued.  “You had him in your sights and you held him there.”  I sighed as I looked at the ground, he had me on that one.  “I know what kind of man you are.”  There was disgust in his voice and it pissed me off.

I looked at him; I kept my voice low and menacing as I said.  “You think I’d shoot Rick?  That is my best friend.  That’s the man that I love, I love him like he’s my brother, you think that’s the kind of man I am?”

“That’s right.”  Dale nodded, but there was some fear in his eyes.

“Well, maybe we ought to just think that through.  Say I’m the kind of man who’d gun down his own best friend.  What do you think I’d do to some guy that I don’t even like when he starts throwing accusations my way?  What do you think?”  I was in his face just a few inches apart as I made my point very clear about what he’d been saying about me.  He was afraid now, I could see it in his eyes, and it felt good to see that.  To know he was now afraid of me and would probably keep his mouth shut from now on.  I turned then and walked away, he didn’t follow this time; my message had gotten through loud and clear.

* * *

 

Nothing Left

Rick's POV

 

After lunch I got the guns all cleaned and squared away then prepared the shooting range for tomorrow so they could continue to practice and get better.  I hadn’t seen Lori in a little while and noticed Glenn headed out to the woods a little ways tears streaked down his face, I chalked that up to hormones.  I entered the tent I shared with my wife, I took off my holster and placed it on the chair that we had in there next to the table.  I looked down and saw the packets and mug of water sitting there.  I picked up one of the packets and read it, I realized that it was a pill you take if you have sex and are worried about getting pregnant, it’s called morning-after pill; it will kill any embryo that’s conceived.  It didn’t take long for the pieces to click, Lori was pregnant.

With packets in hand I stood up, and left to look for Lori, I saw her near the fence that Hershel had worked on earlier in the day.  I left the camp area and walked over to her.  She heard me get closer so she stood up and turned to me, tears on her face and in her eyes as she sniffled.  I stopped several feet between us, I was trying to keep my anger and other emotions in check so I could have a rational discussion about this and not a shouting match, wasn’t easy.

“Is there something you need to tell me?”  I asked, giving her a chance to come clean once and for all.

“We can’t leave I’m pregnant.”

“Are you?”  I asked as I raised the packets for her to see.  I moved a few feet closer.

“I threw them up.”  And that was supposed to make it all better was it, the fact is she took them, and she didn’t even tell me she was pregnant.  I couldn’t stand still I turned and walked away then looked back at her, I was angry, it was all over my face and body language.  “You can yell if you want.”  I didn’t want to yell at her that was the problem; I just wanted a little honesty here, was that too much to ask for.  “You can scream if you have to, but talk to me.”

I walked up to her, invaded her personal space and got right in her face as I spoke low, the anger just simmering as I asked.  “How long have you known?”

“Does it matter?”  She asked.  I took a minute to keep from losing it on her.

“Days?  Weeks?  And you didn’t tell me?”

“I’m telling you now.”

“No.”  I turned away from her afraid that I’d hit her if I didn’t get control of myself.  “I found these.”  I held the evidence in my hands.  “So Glenn knows, right?  Instead of going to me, you-you-you sent him to get pills?”  I asked up in her face again wanting answers for this, for the lies and the deceit.

“I panicked.  You tell me we have no roof and no walls—” That’s when I raised my voice as I interrupted her excuses.

“Do not put this on me!  You tear into me for keeping secrets when you’re holding onto this?”  I wave the packets in front of her.

“You want me to bring a baby into this?  To live a short, cruel life?”  She asked me.

I put my fingertips against my head and waved them at her as I asked.  “How can you think like that?”

She waved her hand back at camp as she cried out.  “We can’t even protect the son we already have.”

“So this is the solution?”  I threw the packets at her feet and backed away.

“Rick, I threw them up.”  I stopped as she continued.  “I screwed up.  I don’t know how we do this.”  She had tears going down her face as she looked back out at the field; I rubbed my face trying to think.  If Daryl and Glenn could do this, they were willing to bring a child into this world; it shouldn’t be any harder for us.  Sometimes I looked at their relationship and I envied it, even after I found out what happened between them and Maggie, they still worked it out and came together, Daryl was far more forgiving then I ever could be.

“We can make it work.”  I said as I turned toward her, she had her back to me and head down.

“How?  Tell me how.”  She begged as she looked at me.

“We’ll figure it out.  Shouldn’t we try to figure it out?  If Glenn and Daryl can do it, you threw up the pills.  You want this baby I know you do.”

“Not like this, not giving birth in a ditch.  Not when its life will hang by a thread from the second it’s born.  Not when every cry will put it, and Carl, and everyone we care about, in danger.  That’s not right, what Glenn’s doing isn’t right either, it’s too dangerous.”

“Not even giving it a chance isn’t right either.”  I got closer to her.

“Maybe this is why I didn’t want to tell you.”  She put her hand up to her forehead in exasperation.

“I still—I still don’t understand why.  You really think I’d make you have a baby you don’t want?”  I asked, as I closed the last little distance between us.

“No, no, so that if I went through with it, it would be on my conscience and not yours.”

“Maybe that’s true, but I can’t live like this anymore, Lori.”  I’m tired of the secrets between us.  “We can’t live like this.  Is there anything else I should know about?”  I asked; giving her one _last_ chance to get all the secrets out in the open before it doomed our relationship forever.

It took a few minutes, but then she finally spoke softly.  “Shane and I.”  That was all she needed to say.  I wasn’t blind, I wasn’t an idiot.

“I know, of course I know.”  I looked out to the field for a moment then faced her again.   “You thought I was dead.  The world went to shit and you thought I was dead.  Right?”

She had unshed tears in her eyes and her lips trembled as she nodded.  “Yeah.”  I nodded as well; there was nothing left to be said.

 


	7. Missing Scenes for Pretty Much Dead Already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible tissue warning for the missing scene I Don't Know That.

There Is No Us

Glenn's POV

 

After we left the barn Daryl went to the tent, I’m not sure where his head was at the time, but mine was trying to clear things up with Maggie as I saw her in the chicken coop getting eggs.  I headed her way, I walked up to the wire mesh and called her name, she turned and, it was obvious she didn’t want to talk to me.  “Hey.”  I called; she got out of the chicken coop ignoring me.  “Maggie just talk to me.”

She closed the coop door and walked around.  “Hey.”  I tried again, she moved passed me.  “Maggie.”  I called to her back, I wanted to apologize for not keeping her secret, the guys deserved to know the truth, and she needed to know that I was going to tell Daryl everything that had happened between us since our first trip to the drug store.  She stopped walking away and turned around to face me.

“Give me your hat.”  It was an odd request.  “You said talk to you, I’m talking to you give me your hat.”  Not sure what she was planning, but I took it off anyways and handed it to her.  I watched her put an egg in it and then moved to put it back on my head, but I was faster as the egg and cap fell on the ground.  She looked surprised at my sudden burst of speed.  “I’m telling Daryl.”  I informed her.

“What is it with you, do you hate me or something, you told the group about the barn and now you’re gonna tell the hot headed redneck about us.”

What gave her the right to call Daryl that, Merle was hot headed, sure Daryl does have a temper, but he knew how to control it.  I was tired of Maggie’s shit, and I let her know that.  “That’s it, you know nothing about him, or me, or any of it.  And you don’t care to know, you want what you want, and I’m sick of it.  There is no us and there never was.  I’ve tried to be your friend; you don’t seem to want that, so what do you want?”  I asked angrily as I picked up my dirty cap off the ground.

“Nothing.”  She huffed then turned and walked away.  I shook my head as I stood there watching her go, there was nothing else I could say or do at the moment, I had to speak to Daryl, that was more important than chasing after Maggie again and figuring out what her problem was now.  I turned and saw Carol go into the stables, I looked at the tent where Daryl had been and he wasn’t there, I had a feeling of what he might be about to do, I headed to the stables and prayed Daryl could forgive me.

* * *

 

Not Leaving

Carl's POV

 

After mom and I left the barn she had me sit down and work on my math, I hated math, not that I wasn’t good at it ‘cause I was I just didn’t like it.  I was writing my answers, mom sitting next to me watching, I missed Sophia, I missed have friends to play with.  I was feeling better now, not in as much pain; turns out I had Beth to thank for that.  I may write and color her a thank you card when I’m finished with my school work.

“Does Shane think Sophia’s dead?”  I asked, thinking about her, made me think of what Shane about leaving this morning at the barn, I didn’t want to leave without her, she was my friend.  I looked at mom.

“Shane’s just scared.”

“Of the walkers in the barn?”

“Yeah.”  I looked at the problem on my note book, but I couldn’t concentrate on it.

“Mom, I’m not leaving until we find Sophia.  And—I don’t want to go even after that.”  I liked it here on the farm, it was safe here, and I liked these people, I wanted to stay.

“Well, we’re not leaving, Carl.  You finish those problems.”   I nodded as I wrote another answer.

“I just think she—she’s gonna like it here.”  I looked at my mom again.  “This place, it could be a home.”  Mom wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug as she kissed the top of my head.  We pulled away and I got back to finishing my work so I could play.

* * *

 

I Don’t Know That

Daryl's POV

 

I walked to the stables and grabbed a saddle, I wasn’t leaving here till I found Sophia, Glenn was off somewhere and I had things to do.  Too many things to do for me to just lie around and heal.  I threw the saddle on one of the metal tables for the very reason of holding a saddle; I grunted from the effort as pain laced up my side, I took several breaths when I heard Carol walk in.  “You can’t.”  She told me.

“I’m fine.”  I walked over to the reigns.

“Hershel said you need to heal.”

“Yeah, I don’t care.”  I moved to one of the stalls and opened it.

“Well, I do.”  Carol said as she moved behind me.  “Rick’s going out later, to follow the trail.”

“Yeah, well I ain’t gonna sit around and do nothing.”  I informed her as I started to put the reins on the horse.

“No, you’re gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse.  We don’t know if we’re gonna find her, Daryl.  And what about Glenn?”  I stopped my movements and turned to look at her as another voice joined the conversation.

“What about me?”  I exited the stall and saw Glenn entering the barn.

“He wants to go look for Sophia.”  Carol explained.

“Daryl, you can’t go, you need to stay and get better.”  Glenn told me, he had worry in his voice, I looked at both of them.

“We don’t know, I don’t know.  Can’t lose you too.”  Carol informed me.

“Daryl, _I_ can’t lose you, not like this please don’t go.”  Glenn begged, I was clearly out numbered.  And angry; if I hadn’t gotten hurt then I’d be out there right now finding her.  I dropped the reigns still in my hands and walked to the saddle.  I picked it up and threw it, I grabbed my side doubled over as I grunted in pain from that little action.  Both Glenn and Carol were at my side, Carol didn’t touch me though as Glenn asked if I was okay, and rested his hand on my back.  He was worried.  I looked at them, I hated this.

“Carol, could you go please, I need to talk to Daryl.”  Carol nodded tears in her eyes as she left.  Glenn moved a crate and had me sit down on it.

“What do you need to say?”  I asked, trying to get my anger cooled.  The look in Glenn’s eyes told me something was wrong, I softened my voice.  “Glenn, what’s wrong?”

“Daryl, I love you.”  Glenn said.

“I know.”  It was the usual reply I gave, that back and forth was comforting to both of us, as he started to explain what had gone down between him and that _harlot_ Maggie.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you, but there is no good way, or time, and you deserve to know…Maggie kissed me at the drug store a few days ago.”  That got my attention as my anger grew again, I was about to speak when Glenn continued.  “I pushed her away and told her that you and I, we’re together and that I love you.  That I could be her friend nothing more.”  Glenn paused to catch his breath.

“Glenn, you told her right away, its fine.”  For a second I had been worried he’d cheated on me, but if he told her that he was in a committed relationship then there shouldn’t be a problem.

“Wait, there’s more.”  Glenn said before I could stand; now I started to worry.  “After you got hurt, and Hershel was working on you, I went to get your clothes.  Maggie showed up, and I was in a vulnerable place from almost loosing you.  She grabbed me and kissed me again.  For a brief moment, I—”  There were tears in his eyes as he swallowed and came out with it, I already had an idea of what he was going to say and the only thing I could feel was betrayal.  “I kissed her back.”

I sat there stunned, I had seen it coming and yet I had hopped I’d been wrong.  “Once I realized what I was doing and that it wasn’t you I pushed her away and told her it could never happen, that I don’t want her, I want you.”

I stood up; then turned and started to walk away, I stopped and looked back.  “You kissed her, brief or not, you kissed her.”

“It was a gut reaction, it didn’t mean anything.”  Glenn said pleading his case, tears in his voice.

“I could’ve died and you were kissing her.”  My voice rose as all that betrayal from past relationships and everything I thought we had, that made Glenn special started to vanish and it hurt, worse than any physical wound I could’ve ever received.  “Gut reaction or not, for a moment you wanted her, didn’t you?”  I asked, I shouldn’t have but I needed to know where we stood.

He swallowed hard as he nodded unable to voice his answer.  “I liked you, I cared about you, I wanted this baby, and you threw all that away ‘cause you kissed that bitch!”  I was in his face as I screamed at him; those tears in his eyes fell as he just took it.  I backed off as I calmed myself down before I spoke again.  “I can’t be with you right now, I’ll pack my things, and you can sleep in the tent.  As of this moment I am nothing but that baby’s father.  You and me, _we’re done_.”  There was a gravel edge to my voice on the tail end of that sentence.

I turned and walked away, I heard Glenn’s tear filled voice call out to me.  “I love you, Daryl.”

I craned my neck to look at him for a second as I spat.  “I don’t know that.”  Then stormed out, I could hear his sobs as I continued to walk away, not looking back, the feeling of betrayal to raw for me to forgive him at that moment.  The boy that was going to teach me to read, that was having my baby, that I had fooled myself into believing loved me, kissed that _whore_. 

I knew it, the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she nothing but trouble.  How could I compete with her, I was just a hick from nowheresville, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t even say the three most important words; it was no wonder he kissed her.  Tears filled my own eyes as I tried to fight them off, tears of anger and anguish, betrayal, rage and sorrow at losing the best thing that had ever happened to me.  I headed to the lake at the far end of the farm; I needed to cool off before I spoke to anyone else.

* * *

 

Dangerous

Dale's POV

 

I had gone for a walk to think, I knew Shane was going to do something foolish, he was still at the barn keeping watch over the door.  As I returned to the R.V. Glenn was standing up there, looked like he’d been crying from how red and splotchy his face was.  “Andrea’s looking for you.”  He informed me as I got closer, he wasn’t wearing his cap which was also odd, something had clearly happened and when I had the time I may talk to him about it.

“Thank you, Glenn.”  I told him.

“Any chance you got an extra hat?”  Glenn asked me.

I shook my head.  “Nope.”  I took mine off and threw it up to him.  He caught it keeping one had on the barrel of the sniper rifle that he used to maintain his balance.

“Thanks.”  He said as I walked into the R.V. I also heard some sniffling but there’s a chance that nothing was wrong and it was just hormones, which is a big possibility ‘cause he’s pregnant.  Andrea was loading and cocking a gun as I entered, she looked at me.

“Going off with Rick to look for Sophia.”  She informed me as she put the pistol in the back of her jeans.

“I thought he was talking with Hershel.”

“He is.  We’re gonna go after.  I’m headed to the barn in the meantime.  Shane wants a watch duty down there.”  She grabbed her bag and placed it on her shoulder.

“Does Rick?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”  I knew how she was feeling about Shane, but Shane wasn’t our leader, Rick was.  I didn’t trust Shane, but I couldn’t tell Andrea what to do she wasn’t my daughter, at least she had seemed to have forgiven me for what went down at the CDC.

“Are you only getting yours?”  I asked motioning with my head to the guns.  She looked at them then me confused by my question.  “I don’t know what’s going on with you and him.”

“Him?”

“Shane.”

“Dale.”  She sighed as she looked at the floor.

“It’s not my business.  All that matters to me is that you—you may not really know him.”  I rememberd the threat he made to me yesterday, it was clear he had no problems with killing and that bothered me, as well as frightened.

“We don’t need to do this.  You and I are finally—”

“It’s important.”

“I get it, you don’t like him.”

“It isn’t that.”  It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, I didn’t trust him, I knew what kind of man he was, what he was capable of.

“Then what is it?”  Andrea asked as she rolled her eyes, hands on hips as she waited for an answer.

“Is that how you want to be?  Like him?”  I hoped not but she was already displaying his attitude on things, all shoot first ask questions never and don’t think about the consequences.

She shrugged as she answered.  “He’s not a victim.”  He wasn’t a victim no, he was much worse.  I looked out the window.

“You don’t know him.”  I just wanted to protect her, in some ways she was very naïve, and I didn’t want her to get hurt.

“Dale, I need you to stop.  You spend so much time watching me, looking out for me.”  I held my hand out to stop her.

“You want to beat me up anytime I show any concern.  Go ahead, I’m done.”  I was tired of her always pushing me away, and yet she talked to Shane, wanted to be with that man.  I was tired of fighting her, I was giving up.

“I’m not beating you up, Dale.  I’m okay, really, things are…different.”  There was nothing I could say to that, I just knew that Shane would not let this barn thing go; he won’t try to talk about it, he’ll want to take action.

“You got your gun.”  I said to end the conversation.

“Okay.”  She said softly then walked passed me and out the R.V.  I looked at the bag of guns; I had to take care of them.

“You okay?”  Glenn asked from the roof.

“Yeah.”  Though from the sounds of it I should’ve been asking him that, and if I wasn’t preoccupied with figuring out where to take these guns I would have.  Then an idea hit me, the one place we hadn’t checked for Sophia yet, was the swamp area and I knew it would be the perfect place to bury a bag of guns.  But I couldn’t let Glenn see where I was headed in case Shane came looking for them to take action.

“You mind running, and getting me some water?”  I asked of Glenn.  “I just—need a second.”  I muttered to myself.

“You’ll keep watch?”  Glenn asked.  I didn’t answer I was figuring out the best way to get to the swamp.  “Dale?”

“Yeah sure.”  I zipped up the bag and grabbed the straps.  As I heard and then saw Glenn walk off to get that water for me, I put the bag in a trash sack from under the sink; I grabbed my riffle slinging it on my back and then left for the woods and where I remembered the swamps being on the map.  I needed to keep these guns out of Shane’s hands; he was dangerous, more dangerous than the walkers in the barn.

* * *

 

It’s About You

Hershel's POV

 

I walked into the kitchen where Maggie was shucking peas.  “Hi, honey.”  I greeted as I grabbed a mug and poured myself some coffee.   I turned and faced her while she continued to work on dinner.  She had been there when Rick had been trying to convince me to let his group stay, I couldn’t trust them, they were too dangerous and whatever was going on between Maggie and that Asian boy, I didn’t want to know at the time.

“Carl doesn’t need any more of my help.”  I told her.

“So that’s it?”  Maggie asked, she was a good girl, hardheaded and a little selfish, but nine out of ten times she over comes that and does what’s right.

“Rick was trying to make his case.”  I explained as I sat down on the stool at the island.  “It’ll be hard; they’ll have to be careful.  But he was being dramatic.”  She picked up the cutting knife and started to chop up parsley.  “They’re a strong group; they’ve done well on their own.”  I hadn’t really believed that his wife was pregnant; I believed at the time that he was saying that for me to agree to let them stay.  I couldn’t let myself be suckered into something that could’ve been a huge mistake.

Maggie worked as I continued.  “They’re just gonna have to go out and find their own farm.  There’s plenty of them now to choose from.”

She finally spoke.  “There aren’t, every one of them nearby is burned out or full of walkers.”  That was the first time I heard that term from my own daughter, and it surprised me.

“Walkers?”  I asked as I put my hand on my hip, a tilt to my head waiting for an explanation to that.  She didn’t speak, I did.  “So we just keep these people here forever?  How are they my responsibility?”  I asked.

Maggie had an answer for that one.  “A new command I give to you: _Love one another as I have loved you._ That’s what you told me, right?”  She had quoted to me, and I didn’t like it ‘cause she was right, she continued.  “I was mad about mom.  Mad about you marrying Annette.  I was fourteen years old and I was awful, to you more than anybody.  All I wanted to do was smoke and shoplift.  Love one another, that’s what you told me.”

“Maggie.  That was different.”

“No.  You’re different.”

“I am.  But we’re not.  I love you.  That’s part of this.  Is this about you and the Asian boy?”  I finally asked, ‘cause I knew something had been going on between those two.

She looked at me, not answering.  “What about his friend, the one with the motorcycle?”  I asked.

“No, they’re nothing, friends.”  She sighed.  “His name is Glenn.  He saved my life yesterday when one of the people you think is sick tried to kill me.”  She explained.  “How’s that for dramatic?”  So here’s what I’ve been informed about.  Glenn and the redneck are just friends, and not gay like I had thought, and one of the sick had almost killed my daughter.  “Things aren’t what you think they are.  They aren’t.  Don’t do this."  She begged for them.  I didn’t answer her.

“Okay?  It’s not about me and Glenn.  It’s not about me and you.  It’s about you.  It’s about who you are, who you’re gonna be.”  Before I could comment on that as I saw unshed tears in her eyes all motion with the food had stopped as we just looked at each other, than Jimmy came in calling my name.

He ran up to us.  “It happened again.”  He informed me.  I stood up then and headed out to get Rick; if he and his people were going to stay here they had to live by my rules, and that means to help me get those sick out there into to the barn.

* * *

 

Rising Anger; Missing Strength

Shane's POV

 

I stayed at the barn keeping watch after Rick left, he’d just told me that Lori was pregnant, while I had congratulated him, inside I’d been congratulating myself.  I knew it was my baby, Lori and I had been having sex for weeks before Rick suddenly showed up, so it had to be mine.

Andrea came a little later to relieve me, saying Rick had to help Hershel with something so she’d take watch till he got back.  I left then to find Lori, it wasn’t difficult I saw her cutting up carrots, using a tree stump as a cutting board, sitting on a crate as she worked on making lunch.

I walked up to her police cap in my hands I was thinking how to approach this, I didn’t give it much thought, all I knew was that Rick was never there for her, I was, that he couldn’t be the father.  I crouched down in front of her the stump between us as she continued to cut and throw them in a pot on the ground.

“I thought he was dead.”  I told her, I didn’t think he would survive, he was in a coma, people were being shot and walkers were headed our way; I didn’t think he’d make it.

“Shane, I don’t—” She started but I interrupted.

“Then when he came back, right then, right there, you see I wished he was.”  She paused in her chopping and looked at me and I continued to explain.  “Not—not because you wouldn’t be mine, but because I knew that sooner or later he would be dead.”  She looked into my eyes and didn’t say a thing.  “See Rick, he ain’t built for this world, not for what it is now.”

“You’re wrong.  You’re wrong.”  Lori told me.

“Lori, how many times has he saved your life?”  I asked.  “I just—I want to know how many times because by my count, I’ve saved your life on four different occasions and that’s Carl’s too.  So I just want to ask you, how many times had Rick saved your life?”

She pointed with her knife in the distance as she spoke of the past.  “That night at the camp.  That night at the camp after the fish fry.”

“No, no, no, see, no.”  I stood as I played with my cap.  “That was me too.  You see, Rick, he showed up late because he went on a suicide mission over nothing.”  She pushed her hair back out of her face as I continued.  “Yeah, he joined in, but see, we wouldn’t have been in that situation if he hadn’t left because he felt that he needed to leave to save a drug dealer.  And so we lost Amy and we lost Jim.  We lost—” I crouched again putting my hands on the stump and then said it, the reason for my presence at that moment.  “Rick told me.”  I looked into her eyes.

“Told you what?”  Lori asked confused.

“And I know the reason why you didn’t is because you know it’s mine.”  Lori realized what I was taking about.

“It’s Rick’s.”

“Okay.   You know, we carried on quite a bit before Rick got back, Lori it’s mine.  You know it is.”

“You’re wrong.”

“You know it is.”

“You’re wrong, you’re wrong.”   I looked back at her as she leaned forward.  “I’m sorry, Shane, I’m sorry.  But even if it’s yours, it’s not gonna be yours.  It’s never gonna be yours and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”  I stood back up.

“I don’t need to.”  I walked away then, no matter how much she denied it that baby was mine, it was part of me I was sure of it.  And I just had to get her to see that.  But first her and Carl needed to be safe and they would never be safe as long as there was a barn full of walkers.

I was passing the fire wood we’d chopped and collected, where Carl was laying against one of the logs reading.  “Hey, Shane.”  Carl called to me.  I stopped and looked at him as he started to stand.  “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

I walked back and asked.  “You okay?”

“Yeah.  I know you think Sophia’s dead and that we should stop looking for her.  But that’s—that’s bullshit.”

“Hey, man, watch your mouth.”  I told him not liking his tone or his language.

“We’re gonna stay here until we find her.”  He was brave standing up to me, I loved this kid, I cared about him and I knew that he looked up to me.

“You think that’s what we should do?”  I asked him.

“It’s what I know we should do.”  I nodded and shrugged.

“Then we stay.”  He nodded, I went on.  “That means we got to do whatever we got to do to make that happen.  Hmm?”  I asked, ‘cause I knew now what I had to do.

“Like help out with chores?”  He asked.  I put my hand on his shoulder resting my thumb on his clavicle and just rubbing the skin there as I bent down and spoke to him.   There was an electric charge, I felt like it was between us, me and Carl, it was weird all that muscle strain and pain I’d been feeling and taking pills for was suddenly gone.

“Yeah, that’s right and don’t give your mom a hard time.”  I told him.

“Carl.  Come here a minute.”  Lori called as she was wiping the knife on a cup towel.

“Why don’t you go see what your mom wants?  Hmm?”  He nodded.  “Go on.”  I let him go and as he headed off I called to him.  “Hey, Carl.”  He craned his neck to look back at me.  “Don’t let me hear you talk like that again.”  I told him.  He nodded then continued on to his mom.  I noticed he was moving slower than before and looked to be in a bit of pain.  Something was off, I could feel it, but I didn’t know what, I didn’t have time to think on it much as I headed to the R.V. for the bag of guns to take care of the walkers in the barn.

As I got to the R.V. Glenn spoke from the roof.  “S’up?”  I didn’t answer as I stormed inside looking for the bag of guns.  I made a promise to Carl, and I was going to keep it by making this farm safe once and for all.

I looked under the table, the small closet checking the little nooks and crannies; I flipped the bed, looked at all the surfaces then walked back into the kitchen area.   Checked the passenger seat still no bag of guns, I realized they weren’t here.  I walked in front of the sink and slammed the counter the sink was in hard, I expected it to dent or splinter, possibly rattle real loud.  What actually happened was nothing, I didn’t hurt it at all, it was as if my super strength had suddenly vanished and that’s when it clicked.  All this time, the pain I’d been in was ‘cause of it, my strength, I was too strong, my muscles weren’t doing well under the strain.  But the question was, where did it go, I was too angry at the lack of guns to continue that line of thinking as I got back to the matter at hand, as I realized who took them.

“Son of a bitch.”  I muttered, and then left the R.V. in a huff, I stopped passed the hang over to look up at Glenn, who was sitting on the roof with the sniper, he sniffled as if he’d been crying; I didn’t give a damn about his emotional state as I asked.  “You see where he went?”

Glenn looked at me.  “Who?”  He asked seemingly confused, I didn’t buy it.

“Don’t even try to shit me, okay?”  I snapped at him.

“What?”

“Dale, Glenn.”  I clarified for the dummy.  “Did you see where Dale went?”  I asked as I turned around looking at camp not seeing any signs on where the old fucker might be.

Glenn stood sniper in hands as he answered.  “Yeah, he asked me to run and get him some water.  He said he’d cover me on watch.”

“And he was gone when you got back, huh?”  I asked as all the pieces clicked.

“Yeah.  You think he’s okay?”  Glenn asked worried.

“Oh, he’s fine.”

“Why’d he bail then?”

“So you wouldn’t tell me which way he went.”

“I don’t get it.”  Glenn said confused and curious.

“No, bitch, you don’t.”  So up until that point I’d been keeping my homophobic tendencies at bay but that anger at Dale and Lori denying that child to be mine had all those feelings coming to the surface.  I didn’t care that Glenn was pregnant, I didn’t believe it, so yeah I called him what he was, a bitch.  Daryl’s little bitch to be precise.  I walked away ignoring the gasp I heard when I had thrown it at him.  Things between us started going downhill from there.  I headed for the woods to track down Dale and the bag of guns so I could get this group situated proper and take out all those geeks in the barn.

It didn’t take long to catch up to Dale, I tracked him into the swamp, and he was leaning the guns against one of the trees as he adjusted his riffle when I caught up to him.  I saw he had a hammer and nail with him, probably to make a sign so he could find the hidden bag later, I interrupted him.  “Man, this is a good hiding place.”  He looked at me.  “We ain’t been in the swamps much, huh?”  He bent down to put the tools back in the bag.

“Imagine if you applied your tracking skills to finding Sophia.”  Dale said as I walked around the water between us.

“How about you just give me that bag, huh?”  I suggested as he was putting the guns in a trash sack.

He looked at me.  “I’m not gonna do that.”  So my scare tactic yesterday didn’t take, well looked like I’d just have to scare him again.

“Yeah you are, Dale.  Unless, well, you do have that rifle over your shoulder.”  I gave him an option.

“You gonna shoot me like you did Otis?  Tell another story?”  I chuckled.

“No, man.  Hell, when you really look at it in the cold light of day, you’re pretty much dead already.”  He looked into my eyes, probably wondering if I was lying or not, I wasn’t.  “Just give me the guns, do it now.”

He pointed to the sack as he asked.  “You think this is gonna keep us safe?”

“Mm-hmm.  I know it is.”

“Rick is trying to get Hershel—” I was done discussing this, I interrupted.

“Dale, shut up.  Just shut up and give me the guns.”  He set the sack against the tree again, took his rifle cocked it, set his hands on it to use as he faced me head on.

“Am I gonna have to shoot you?  Do I have to kill you?  Is that what it’s gonna take?”  He aimed his rifle at me.  I chuckled again, I couldn’t believe this, Dale didn’t have the goddamn balls to shoot me and I knew it.

“Eh.”  I moved forward and he set his riffle against his shoulder ready to fire.  I continued to move until the barrel of the gun was against my chest.  “Yeah.  That’s what it’s gonna take.”  I told him calling his bluff.  He lowered his gun; I could see the defeat in his eyes.

“This is where you belong, Shane.”

“How’s that, Dale?”  I asked a little confused.

“This world, what it is now, this is where you belong.”  Dale hoisted his rifle back on his shoulder, and then continued.  “And I may not have what it takes to last for long, but that’s okay.”  He bent down and picked up the sack of guns in his arms.  “‘Cause at least I can say when the world goes to _shit_ I didn’t let it take me down with it.”  He thrust the sack against my chest; I took it with a smirk on my face.”

I put the guns under my arm.  “Fair enough.”  I said; then started heading back to camp.  Leaving Dale where he was standing, angry and pissed at me.  I took the sack off throwing it on the ground then swung the bag of guns on my shoulder as I got out of the woods and headed for the porch where everyone had congregated.

* * *

 

You’re Better Than That

Carol's POV

 

I’d seen Daryl leave the barn; he had tears in his eyes and an angry stride as he headed to the lake on the other side of the farm.  I continued to hang up clothes when I saw Glenn walk out, he had red rimmed eyes and tear stains as he went to the R.V. to get cleaned up I assumed, he then got on top to keep watch.  Andrea walked up and asked Glenn where Dale was, he didn’t’ know, she headed inside the R.V. probably to get ready for when Rick returns, ‘cause then they’re gonna go out looking for my daughter again.

I was starting to give up hope of ever finding her.  I finished the clothes and walked to get some things to help Lori make dinner, I got back when I saw and heard Shane looking for Dale after I saw Rick and Hershel walk off to the woods.  I didn’t hear them, but Glenn was gasped and started to cry after something Shane said as he walked away.  I thought I might tell Daryl so he’d take care of it, Daryl is protective of Glenn.  It wasn’t long after Shane left that Daryl walked up to me.  He didn’t speak to Glenn as he said he wanted to show me something, I stopped what I was doing and followed him back to the lake, I had mentioned Glenn and he threw it off, I reminded silent after that.

“You see it?”  Daryl asked as we got closer.

“See what?”  We walked around the weeds and bush there as he pointed to the white Cherokee rose’s.  We stopped in front of them, they were beautiful.

“I’ll find her.”  He promised, but the question I had was why, out of everyone here he was looking the hardest and it made no sense why.

I didn’t say anything for a few minutes and he spoke up again.  “Hell, I’m sorry about what happened this morning.”  He’d been gruff and blown me off, it had been clear he hadn’t wanted me around when Glenn had shown up.

“You wanted to look for her.  Why?”  I finally asked as I looked at him.  I explained my reason for wanting to know.  “This whole time I’ve wanted to ask you.”

“‘Cause I think she’s still out there.  And if I can find here then I’ll know.”  He didn’t elaborate.

“Know what?”  I asked hoping he’d tell me.

“That I won’t be like my old man, that I can be a better father then him.”  That was the first time Daryl ever opened up to someone other than Glenn.

“What happened between you and Glenn?”  I knew it was none of my business but Glenn was hurting and even though Daryl was hiding it, he was hurting as well.

“He cheated on me.”  He said as he looked away.  I placed my hand on his shoulder, but he jerked it away, I backed off some.

“Sorry, sorry, did he sleep with someone?”  I asked; he shook his head wiping at the tears that had gathered in his eyes.  “Then what did he do?”

“He kissed _Maggie_.”  He spat her name like it was a curse.

“Did he tell you this, or did you see it?”

“He told me.  Said he never meant for it to happen and maybe he didn’t, the thing is, he wanted her.  For a moment in that kiss he wanted it.”

“Daryl, we all want things, we usually regret what we want.  But if he told you about it, then maybe it’s possible that he wants you more.”  He looked at me then.  “Just think about it, and give it sometime, don’t slam the door on him just yet.  You’re better than that.”  I moved then to touch the flower for a moment, I looked at him as he watched me.  I walked closer to him, and gingerly kissed his cheek before moving to headed back to camp.

* * *

 

Confrontations

Maggie's POV

 

I was walking down the dirt road with a basket of vegetables I’d collected to make dinner, after the talk with dad I didn’t have enough, so I’d left to get more, Glenn was sitting on top of the R.V. keeping watch, no one else seemed to be around, I didn’t know where they were and I really didn’t care.  “Maggie.” Glenn called from his position, I glanced at him as he stood up to get my attention; I continued walking.  “Hey.”  He tried again, I chose to ignore him.   He got off the R.V. and headed for me.

He ran up to me as he called my name a couple of times I continued to ignore him.  “Maggie, just stop for a second.” 

“You talked about it, you told Dale, fine.  I asked you, I told you.  I just asked you for one thing, one thing.”  I yelled at him.

“I couldn’t do it.”  He was about to say more, but I interrupted loudly.

“My dad’s gonna kick you guys out now, he told me.”  I didn’t want them to go, I liked Glenn, and wanted him, I was jealous that Daryl had him.  That’s what it boiled down to, I was jealous of what Daryl had and I wanted it.

“No, Rick’s gonna work something out with your dad.  Okay?  I had to tell them.”

“You did not.”  He grabbed my hand stopping all motion and forcing me to look at him.

“No, I did.”  He took the basket from me and placed it on the ground, then stood and I finally took in his appearance, the shaking hands, the red rimmed eyes and splotchy face, he clearly had been crying.  This knowledge didn’t let him off the hook as he continued to explain himself.  “I had to tell them, ‘cause I forgot, yesterday at the Pharmacy I realized, they’re dangerous.  I don’t care if their sick people or dead people they’re dangerous.  You’re my friend; I don’t want you in danger any more than the rest.  So I hate to blow your dad’s big secret, but I’m sick of secrets.  Secrets get you killed.  And I’d rather have you pissed off at me and alive than liking me and dead.  So that’s why I told them.”  He had said his peace, so he turned and started walking away.

“Hey, walker bait.”  I called to him.  I wanted to know what had happened, why he seemed so sad.

“Don’t call me that.”  He said as he looked back at me.

“Okay, Glenn.”  I walked up to him.  “What happened?”  I motioned to his face that had remnants of sorrow.

“I told Daryl what happened between us and he broke up with me.”  He spat at me clearly hurt, and yet I couldn’t stop the small smirk that peaked up before I got it controlled, though I think he saw it.  He shook his head.  “Forget it Maggie, I’m going to do all I can to get back in his good graces.”  He turned and started to walk away again when then stopped and faced me anger coming to the fore front as he put me in my place.  “You just don’t get it, I love him Maggie.  I had a choice to make, you or him.  Maggie, I’ll always pick Daryl, you lose.  So please stop playing this game.  I want you as a friend, nothing more.”  I got the message loud and clear, if I didn’t back off I’d lose having Glenn in my life period, I didn’t want that.  I had to fix this, he was clearly broken hearted about Daryl ending their relationship and it was all on me, my actions, my selfish desire, and Glenn was paying for it, ‘cause he’s a good guy.

“I’m sorry Glenn, I wanted you; I won’t deny that.  But while you have every right to hate me, you don’t, you still want to be my friend.  I’ll back off, and let you be with Daryl, I had no right to get between you two and I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused both of you.”  I was going to kiss his cheek in friendship but he pulled away, I understood, he had to fix things with Daryl and so I just nodded, picked up my basket and headed to the house.

As I got there I saw Patricia giving Carl Advil for some muscle pain he was having.  Beth took the vegetables and started to put them away, dinner could wait, as we walked onto the porch to enjoy some time with our new friends.

Patricia and Carl sat at the table on the porch and started playing a bored game while Beth watching.  I sat next to Glenn on the steps; he had decided to enjoy some company instead of being alone on the R.V.  It was a comfortable silence between us.  I understood now, that Glenn really loved Daryl, and since he was willing to be my friend even after everything I’d done to screw up his relationship with Daryl, I was willing to let him go.  He looked silly with Dale’s hat on, seeing as I’d got his messed up with eggs and dirt.

“You look like you should be in line for the early bird special.”  I teased.  He had stopped crying and was cleaned up, his eye were still red rimmed as he looked at me.  I took the hat off him.  “Go get your cap I’ll wash it for you, okay?”  I told him.

He ran his hand through his hair and stood to get it when T-Dog and Andrea walked up to us.  “Do you know what’s going on?”  T-Dog asked.

“Where is everyone?”  Andrea asked.

“You haven’t seen Rick?”  Glenn asked as he faced them.

“He went off with Hershel.  We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago.”  Andrea explained.

“Yeah you were what the hell?”  Daryl asked as he walked up with Carol and joined the conversation, they were just returning from the lake.

“Rick told us he was going out.”  Carol chimed in.

“Damn it, isn’t anybody taking this seriously?”  Daryl asked angrily, then he took in Glenn’s appearance as he walked up to him, he almost touched him but then looked at me and dropped his hand as he turned his attention to our current problem.  I felt all kinds of low when I saw the hurt look that Glenn quickly covered up, it was all my fault and I had no idea how to fix it.  “We got us a damn trail.”  He turned throwing his arm out in the direction of the woods.  Shane was walking up then with the bag of guns.

“Oh, here we go.”  Daryl said as he walked out further while we all waited at the porch.  “What’s all this?”  Daryl asked as Shane walked up with a shot gun in one hand and the bag of guns slung on his back.

“You with me, man?”  Shane asked him.

“Yeah.”  Daryl agreed as he took the shot gun and cocked it.  I didn’t know what was going on.

“Time to grow up.”  Shane told us.  He looked at Andrea.  “You already got yours?”

“Yeah, where’s Dale?”

“He’s on his way.”

“Thought we couldn’t carry.”  T-Dog questioned as he took a pistol from Shane.

“We can and we have to.”  He faced the rest of us as Carl, Beth and Patricia joined us from the porch.  “Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe.  But now we know it ain’t.”  Shane walked up to Glenn.  “How about you man?  You gonna protect yours?”  He glanced at Glenn’s stomach and I was clueless at what he meant.  Daryl started to move to get between them, so it was obvious he still cared for him even though he’d broken up with him ‘cause of me.

Glenn held out his hand though to stop him as Shane held out a shot gun for him, Glenn took it.  Then he turned to me and asked.  “Can you shoot?”

I’d had enough of this Rambo shit.  “Can you stop?  You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight.”  I told him.

Carl spoke up as he walked down off the porch.  “We have to stay, Shane.”

Lori showed up then from around back.  “What is this?”

“We ain’t going anywhere, okay?”  Shane said as he set the bag of guns on the ground and stood back up.   “Now look, Hershel, he’s just gotta understand.  Okay?  He—well, he’s gonna have to.”  Shane walked up to Carl.  “Now we need to find Sophia am I right?”  He knelt in front of him.  “Huh?  Now I want you to take this.”  He held out a six shooter for Carl.

“You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe.  You do whatever it takes.  You know how.  Go on, take the gun and do it.”  Lori walked up to him and pushed Carl back away from Shane.

“Rick said no guns; this is not your call.  This is not your decision to make.”  Lori hissed at him.

“Oh shit.”  T-Dog suddenly voiced, we all turned to see what he was looking at.  We all saw Jimmy clapping and calling to the walkers that Rick and my dad were behind pushing to get to the barn, much like Otis use to do before we lost him.

“What is that?”  Shane asked as he started to run in their direction.   The rest of us ran after him.

“Shane!”  Lori called to get him to stop, and I kept asking him to wait, but he wouldn’t listen, as Shane got the barn and stopped them, it got worse from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we're at the half way point for this story, from now until the end you may ask questions about the up coming season and the story for the missing scenes between seasons 2 and 3. I will try to answer them without giving to many spoilers but if I can't, I will let you know so you can ask another question. I may leave out some details so you don't know to much but hopefully give you enough to keep on reading. Enjoy, and thanks for reading, for all the comments and kudos, you all have been fantastic.


	8. Missing Scenes for Nebraska

Confrontation with Shane

Rick's POV

Once Hershel, Beth, Patricia, Maggie and Glenn went into the house I faced Shane about the yelling and shouting and accusing Hershel of knowing Sophia was in the barn.  “What are you doing?”  I asked as the door closed behind Glenn.  “Hey, what are you doing?”  I asked again as he looked at me.

“Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick.  Any one of us could have, I’m gonna tell you right now—that son of a bitch, he knew.”  He pointed towards the house where Hershel and the others had gone.

“He didn’t know, he’s not like that.”  I told him, these past few days I’d gotten to know him, he’s a good man, a little confused about the walkers but a good man at heart.  “He opened his home to us.”  Shane walked closer to me.

“Put us all in danger.  Man, he kept a barnful of walkers.”

“So you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family?”

“His family’s dead Rick.”

“Well, he doesn’t believe that.  He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood.”  I got up in his face as our voices voice rose along with our tempers.

“No, man, I don’t care what he thinks—And you just—”

“I was handling it, brother.”

“It and you just—”

“I was handling—”

“You had us out in those woods looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was dead!”  Shane shouted as he pointed to the woods.  “That’s what you did.  Rick, you’re just as delusional as that guy.”  Shane threw his hand towards the house, and then snorted as he started to walk away.  “You handling it, huh?”    I looked back at him as he ran his hand over his head while going back to the barn to take care of the walkers we’d killed just moments before.   I followed shortly after, there was nothing more to say to him.

* * *

 

Holding Onto Hope

Lori's POV

 

Carl and I sat on the ground a little ways from the barn and the walkers, Andrea had gone back to camp while Shane and Rick went to the house following Hershel and the others.  I saw her come back with a blanket and knelt next to Sophia, she was covering her up when I saw Shane headed back.  The wind was blowing as some dark clouds rolled it, sounded like a storm, but not the kind that washes things away and renews us.  Carl didn’t seem to be in pain any more as he was earlier, so I was thankful for that.

Dale walked by, headed to another walker a ways from the rest as Carl looked at me and spoke up.  “I thought I’d find her.”

“We all did.”  I told him, we all wanted to find her.

“I mean me—that I’d be the one.”  I gave him a curious look he elaborated.  “Like maybe she was hiding somewhere in a cave or a tree.  She’d be safe and I’d find her and bring her back.”  I looked behind us as I heard Shane walking back, Rick was several paces behind him.  “He did the right thing.”  I looked at him shocked.  “Shooting her like that.  I would’ve done it too.”   He told me. I didn’t know what to say to that, I never thought my baby would say that, this world was changing him.

“Dale?”  I asked, Dale looked at us.

“Yeah?”  He asked.

“Could you take Carl up to the house?”  I wanted him away from all this carnage and safe while I talked with Rick.  I ran my hand across the back of his head as I looked down at him and said.  “I want you to rest.”

“Okay.”  Carl agreed.  He stood to go with Dale; I brushed my bangs out of my face as him and Dale headed back to the house.

“Hey, you dropped that.”  Rick told him as he passed placing the sheriff’s hat on his head.  I saw Carl give him a brief smile.  Rick walked passed me as I stood up, he stood before the dead scattered in front of the barn.  Andrea, T-Dog, Jimmy and Shane all looked at him.

T-Dog spoke first.  “You want us to start burying?”  He asked.

“We need a service, Carol would want that.”  Andrea said.

“Yeah, we all want that.”  T-Dog commented as he looked back at the barn.

“Let’s—let’s dig a grave for Sophia, Annette and Shawn.”  I suggested as I put my hand in my back pockets.  I looked around and pointed to some trees near the barn.  “Over by those trees.  And we’ll need a truck to move the bodies.”

“I’ll get the keys.”  Jimmy said as he started to head for the house, Shane stopped him

“No, no.  I got the truck.”  He hooked his hands in his belt and headed for the truck.

“And the others?  That’s a lot of digging.”  Jimmy asked as he looked at the walkers.

“We bury the ones we love, and burn the rest.”  Andrea informed him.

“Let’s get to work.”  I said while Shane got the truck, T-Dog, Jimmy and Andrea got shovels to start digging the graves for our loved ones.

I walked to Rick and grabbed him at the waist as I whispered with our backs to the others.  “What did Hershel say?”  I asked him.

“He wants us off the farm or Shane at least.”  He informed me.

“That’s not a surprise.”  After this and some other things I was starting to not want Shane around, I was so confused, I loved my husband, I cared about Shane and I screwed up.  Because I couldn’t make up my own damn mind I killed Shane and destroyed any love or trust Rick had for me.  All my fault.

“We’re lucky someone wasn’t killed.  And all that gunfire—more walkers could’ve heard it.”  I looked at Andrea as she walked out of the barn with some thick blankets to wrap our loved ones in before we buried them.  Rick didn’t say anything, I faced him again.  “Baby, what is it?”  I could tell there was something on his mind.

Rick sighed before answering.  “She was there, all the time.”  He seemed upset with himself about that.

“And you did everything you could.”  I reassured him.

“Yeah, I know, I always do, don’t I?”  Rick asked as he looked at the ground and kicked the dirt with his left foot.  “Went after her, protected her; killed those walkers.  But she still got bit.  And Carl still got shot.”  He looked at me as if I had all the answers in the world for what was troubling him.

I nodded.  “Mm-hmm.”  I agreed.

“People counting on me and I had ‘em chasing a ghost in a forest.”  He was looking off in the distance beating himself up.

I placed my hand on his cheek.  “Hey.”  He pulled away from me, then turned and walked off.  There was nothing I could say to make him feel any better.  And maybe that’s what it comes down to for all of us; we’re all chasing a ghost of the past.  There’s nothing wrong with holding onto hope, unless it started getting us killed.  I let him go as I turned and to help Andrea wrap Sophia, Annette and Shawn in the blankets.

It wasn’t long before Shane was back with the truck and we got the shovels and put Shawn, Annette and Sophia wrapped in blankets and carried where they were going to be buried, I got some water from the well as Shane, Andrea, T-Dog and Jimmy dug the graves for them.

Shane paused and looked at me as I got back with the water for them to drink and take a break before we got the others from the house and camp.  As they finished abd got out of the graves T-Dog put his shovel in the dirt and said.  “That’s it.”  I walked off to the R.V. to get Carol and Daryl.  Before going to the house.

* * *

 

Silence

Hershel's POV

 

After I went into the house I saw Glenn follow and watched him rush to the bathroom where I heard him throw up, I was to angry and grief stricken to care as he walked upstairs to my bedroom where I stayed while the others sorted the dead, and dug graves I looked at the pictures on my dresser.

I picked up a picture of Annette a few months before the world changed.  She was beautiful then, so full of life and happy.  I opened the bottom drew and pulled out a box and started to put her jewelry back in its case where it belongs.

I got boxes out of the closet and started to pack up her clothes, placing the jewelry box in one of them and then opened her vanity pulling out her nighty and folding it up placing it in one of the brown cardboard boxes on the bed.

Then I changed clothes, more formal, I opened the top drawer in my dresser and picked a tie to wear for the funeral we were about to have.  I moved them and found the flask my father gave me on his deathbed; he picked it up and looked at it.  I hadn’t had a drink since Maggie was born and right now it was all I wanted.  I placed it on top with the pictures then preceded to pick a tie to put on before Rick showed up informing me that it was time.  I put on a navy blue tie to go with the light grey suit I had chosen to wear, then with my family we went out with their people to pay our respects to our loved ones.

I couldn’t stick around after that, so I left, walked to town and into Hatlens a bar I use to go to back before Maggie was born.  I walked to the back of the bar, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, a glass then sat down at the end of the counter with my back to the door and started to drink, I’m sure how long I was there, but a couple of drinks in, Rick and Glenn showed up to bring me home.

* * *

 

Dangerous

Dale's POV

 

After I took Carl to the house I walked to the where the vehicles were and watched the others at the barn.  Shane walked away after whatever decision they’d come to about the walkers, he got to his blue pickup truck.  He stopped with his hand on the handle as he looked at me where I was leaning against the tan car next to the red van.  I had my riffle slung over my back as I eyed him.

He scoffed before opening his door with a shake of his head as he got in, he knew exactly what I thought about him.  He closed the door then fixed the mirror to look at me with it.  I didn’t approve of him and he knew that.  After a minute he threw the door open again and sat sideways to look at me.

“Do you got something to say, Dale?”  He asked, I didn’t answer.  “Well, go ahead, man.”  He told me as he ran his hand over his face.   “Mr. Moral authority, huh?”  He wrung his hands together waiting for me to respond.  He chuckled.  “The—ah, the voice of reason.”

He hit the steering wheel and got out and started walking over to me as he continued to speak.  “Let me ask you something, man, what do you do?  What do you do to keep this camp safe, huh?  What do you do?  What, you fix up an R.V.?  You babysit some guns?”

He stopped a few paces from me; I turned to face him head on as he continued to verbally attack me.  “Man, you pointed one at my chest, right?  But you just—you just couldn’t pull that trigger could you?  If I was such a danger, if I was such a threat, what did you do to stop me, huh?”  He pointed off in the distance as he started to preach himself to me.  “I smashed that barn open, I saved Carl.  That’s me.  That ain’t you, that ain’t Rick, that’s me.”  I continued to hold my silence.

He turned away and spoke as he walked back to his truck.  “Tell you what, Dale—next time I need a radiator hose…”  He scoffed again as he got back in his truck while he continued.  “I’ll give you a call, man.”  He slammed the door then started it up and drove off to the barn to collect the walkers that we wouldn’t be burring that day.  I knew exactly who he was, willing to sacrifice Otis for another, to possibly get us kicked off this farm, our safe haven because he couldn’t be patient and let Rick work it out with Hershel.  A man that was dangerous and liable to get us all killed, that’s the kind of man Shane was.

After everyone split up from the graves that had been dug for Annette, Shawn and Sophie.   Andrea, and T-Dog, started loading the rest of the walkers into the bed of the truck to take behind the barn a little distance before burning them.  I was leaning against the tail gate of the truck watching as T-Dog grabbed the last one by the arms and lifted while Andrea grunted as she grabbed its legs and they walked back where the rest had been piled into.  Rick was walking over.

“A few more trips.”  He said.

“We got lucky.  If that barn had any more we could’ve been overrun.”  He walked around to the other side as they set the last one in the truck, I moved out of their way.

“Good-thing Shane did what he did when he did.”  T-Dog grunted out as he checked the bandage on his arm.

“You can’t tell me this was right.”  I said.

“It wasn’t.”  Rick agreed.  “It’ll cost us with Hershel.”  Rick informed us.

“He’s grieving, he’ll come around, see we had no choice.”  Andrea mentioned, sometimes that girl could have her head in the clouds at this situation; she was infatuated with Shane and believed everything he did and said was the right thing, she also tended to stick up for him as she continued.  “Look, I shot too this wasn’t all Shane.”

“Look, I got no qualms about it.  Walkers in my backyard?  Hm-mmm.”  T-Dog agreed with her.

“I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have taken care of the problem but creating a panic?!”  I chimed in.  During this Lori had walked up to us and hearing me she spoke up making her presence known.

“There’s no point arguing about it.  It’s done.  There’s nothing we can do about it.”  Everyone stopped the discussion ‘cause she was right.

T-Dog walked passed Rick to the cab of the truck and opened the door as he spoke.  “Better get moving.”  He got in and slammed the door.  Lori started walking back towards the house where Carl was, she patted me on the shoulder as she went.

Andrea kicked the tail gate before sitting on it taking her gun off as she rested her one of her legs on it the other swinging as T-Dog started the engine as Rick and I started to walk off back to camp.

I looked back as I heard Andrea’s shout.  “Hey!  Hey!”  I saw T-Dog stop the truck; she hopped off and picked up a walker arm that had detached from its owner in the truck.  She grabbed it by the wrist and then ran back to the truck throwing it on top of the other walkers and sat back down, she tapped the tail gate as she shouted.  “All Right!”  I watched as it drove off to take the rest of the walkers to the pile near the lake.

It wasn’t much longer after that, that Glenn had come to inform us that Beth had collapsed I was in the living room with Patricia while Rick, Shane, Lori, Glenn and Maggie were upstairs looking for Hershel.  Rick soon left with Glenn to go into town to find him while Shane went back to the barn to burn the walkers with T-Dog, Andrea stayed at the house with Maggie, and Patricia watching over Beth.  A little while later Lori and I headed back out to camp.

“This place is going to hell.”  I informed her.

“Yeah, I’m trying hard to prevent that.”  She put her hands in her back pockets as we stepped down from the porch.

“You won’t be able to.  No, there are people in this group who think that what Shane did was justified.”  I told her.

“I know you two can’t stand each other, but he did something that needed to be done.”  She had her head in the sand and no idea what Shane was truly capable of.

“He’s dangerous.”  I tried to warn her, but she just couldn’t see it until it was too late.

“Yeah, he’s a hothead.”

“No, Lori, he’s dangerous.  I think he killed Otis.”  That got her attention.  She slowed and stopped; I stopped as well and faced her as she spoke.

“Otis was killed by walkers.”

“He knew how to handle walkers.  Otis was the one who was putting them in the barn.”  She closed the gap between us.

“You need to be really clear with me right now.  What are you saying?”  She asked.

“I believe that—that Shane sacrificed Otis.  I can’t prove it but I-I-I—I think that he—I think that he shot him and left him for bait, so that he could get away.”

“Shane may be a hothead, but he’s not a murderer.  And—and why would he kill somebody who’s trying to help?”

“I don’t know maybe he was pinned down.  He said—He said it.  He all but threw it in my face.”  I shook my head as I finished.  “I’m telling you—I knew guy’s like him, and sooner or later he’s gonna kill somebody else.”  With that I turned and walked back to camp to resume my position on top of the R.V. to keep look out.  Shane was dangerous.

* * *

 

Carol Reborn

Carol's POV

 

After Rick shot my daughter I went back to the R.V. and sat at the table with a tissue and looked out the window, I’d cried all my tears after she disappeared, I had none left, and the part that scared me the most was the fact that I couldn’t’ feel sad, I was numb, emotionally numb.  I heard footsteps walk up and someone enter the camper.  I knew who it was, I knew why he was there and I didn’t say anything just continued to look out the window while he tried to figure out what to say.

He placed his crossbow on the counter and sat up there, I looked at my hands before I finally turned my head in his direction and looked at him; I looked back outside the window as we both sat in silence.

Daryl and I just sat there; he had grabbed one of the shot guns and had it in his lap when there was a tap on the open door.  I glanced up to see Lori walk in; she stood in the doorway as she spoke.  “They’re ready.”  They had been digging graves for Sophia, Annette and Shawn.

I shook my head, I wasn’t going to go; I had no intention of going.  I had already grieved for my daughter, that thing out there wasn’t her.  “Come on.”  Lori urged.

“Why?”  I asked, truly wanting to know, what was the reason, she was dead that was all there was to it.

“‘Cause that’s your little girl.”  Daryl told me.

I may have been cold, but it was how I had felt, and I still feel that way about it.  I looked at him and said.  “That’s not my little girl.  That’s some other _thing_.”  I looked back out the window as I continued.  “My Sophia was alone in the woods.  All this time I thought…she didn’t cry herself to sleep.  She didn’t go hungry.  She didn’t try to find her way back.  Sophia died a long time ago.”  Lori backed out and headed off to the farm house leaving just me and Daryl again, he didn’t comment on what I said.

A minute later he stood up and left as well.  I chose not to stay in the R.V. as others were coming out to go to the graves and pay their respects.  I went walking, into the woods, near the lake Daryl had shown me and I sat down amongst the Cherokee rose’s.

I heard the birds chirping as I plucked a petal from the Cherokee rose in front of me.  I looked at how white and pure it was, and then crushed it in my hand as my grief and anger washed over me.  I threw it on the ground then grabbed the whole rose and pulled it from the bush and before long I was doing that to all of them.  Then I grabbed the what I could of the bush and pulled, yanking it out of the ground, as I threw it and continued to do so with the surrounding grass and any other rose’s I saw until there was nothing left but ruins of what had once been, much like my life.

Finally I ran out of steam and started crying as I sat there, I’m not sure how long I was there but when I left to return to camp it had been hours and I was dirty and hot and in a daze as I made my way back to the farm.

I came out of the woods and saw Shane, his hands on his pistol as I had been rustling the leaves, his face and head was wet so clearly he’d been washing himself with the water pump while the rest were off somewhere, I didn’t find out until later the night about Beth and the situation with Hershel being gone.  When he realized it was me he put his gun back in his pants.

“Hey.”  He said trying to get my attention; I was looking at the ground not responding.  “Carol?”  He asked, I continued to move forward, but I wasn’t really there.  “Carol.”  He tried again, and then walked up to me.  “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.”  I started to move passed him when I stopped as he asked his next question trying to get me to respond.  “Hey, are you all right?”

I muttered a yeah, he put his hand on my back as he led me to the water pump to sit down.  “Come here.”  He had me sit then pumped some water in the bucket there and dipped his hand in it before taking one of mine to start cleaning off the mud and dirt.  He did that for a few minutes before speaking again.

“I want you to know that I’m real sorry for you girl.”

“Thank you.”  I finally said.  It didn’t matter how many sorry’s people gave, it was never enough; it wouldn’t bring my little girl back.

He continued to wash my arm and hand as he spoke again.  “When I opened that barn I had no idea.  If I did…”  He sighed as he plucked grass off my other arm.  He scoffed at that as he shook his head then continued.  “Everybody thinks that I’m a…”  He looked at the ground before going on.  “I was just trying to keep everybody safe.”

I looked him in the eyes, and then looked back at my hands.  “I had no idea she was in there.”  I believed him, there was no way anyone could’ve known, I knew this, didn’t make the hurting any less.  But it was this day that I became a new person, the Carol I was died that day along with my daughter, and the Carol I was to become was given birth as Shane spoke to try and ease my suffering.

* * *

 

Accident

Lori's POV

 

It was maybe half an hour after Dale confronted me about Shane killing Otis, a part of me didn’t want to believe it, to keep on going as if Shane hadn’t changed.  But he had, he’d become harder, colder ever since he picked me and Carl up to get out of town, he had no one else and Rick was like a brother to him, I knew it tore him up Rick being dead.  Well that’s what he told us, the truth was so much harder than the lie.  The rest of me knew Dale was right.

I walked into the room where Beth was resting, Maggie checking her heart beat probably for the hundredth time, it was the same room they’d taken care of Carl in.  Patricia was checking her pulse while, Jimmy was just standing by the bed not sure what to do, and Andrea was standing at the end watching.

I turned and walked to the back door and looked outside, Rick needed to get back soon. Him and Glenn hadn’t been gone more than an hour, I knew it was unreasonable that they should be back by now but that’s what I wanted.

Andrea saw me and walked out of the room while Maggie continued to try and get through to Beth.  “Her heart’s racing she’s burning up.  We need Hershel; he’ll know what to do.”  She informed me.  I walked across the room then faced her.

“Would you look in on Carl for me?  He’s feeling better but I just don’t want him alone for long.”  I requested.

“Of course.”  Andrea agreed.  With that I turned and headed for the front door, I left the house and started running out to the field where I had seen Daryl go.

He was sitting under a tree, his duffle bag next to him like he’d cleared out his things from the tent.  He was running his knife against a stick sharping it to a point.  “Moving to the suburbs?”  I asked.  He’d been here the last few hours since the funeral ended.  He didn’t respond as he continued whittling that twig.

I slowed down as I got closer.  “Listen, Beth’s in some kind of catatonic shock.  We need Hershel.”  I informed him.

“Yeah, so what?”  He asked in an ‘I don’t care’ voice.

I stopped next to him and crouched down to be more level where he was sitting.  “So, I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back.”  He continued to ignore me.  “Daryl.”  He finally looked at me.

“Your bitch went window-shopping.  You want him?  Fetch him yourself.  I got better things to do.”

“What’s the matter with you?”  I could tell something was wrong with him.  “Why would you be so selfish?”  I said and that may have been out of line as he looked at me in anger.

“Selfish?”  He asked, he stood up, then continued.  “Listen to me, Olive Oyl.  I was out there looking for that little girl every single day.  I took a bullet and an arrow in the process.  Don’t you tell me about me getting my hands dirty!”  He yelled.  “You want those two idiots?  Have a nice ride.”  He waved to the distance.  “I’m done looking for people.”  He sat back down and started cutting on that twig again.

I had stood back up.  “What about Glenn, he’s with him.”  I told him, Daryl looked at me and told me something that I should’ve taken to heart.

“Then he’s safe ain’t he, he’ll either bring Glenn home alive or I’ll kill him.”  He paused then rethinking as he stopped his movements and looked at me.  “How long they been gone?”  He asked.

“An hour.”  I informed him.

“Shit woman, if they’re not back by daybreak I’ll go looking.”  Daryl had more faith in Rick and Glenn’s ability to take care of themselves and make it back with Hershel, then I had in Rick.

I walked off, I planned to go looking for them myself, I was an idiot, I should’ve known better but I wasn’t thinking.  I just knew that we needed Hershel, and I needed Rick.

So I got back to the house, I grabbed my tan jacket putting it on and the six shooter Rick had been teaching Carl to use placing it in the back of my jeans, then I searched until I found a map.  Once I had that I walked out onto the back porch, I took the gun out and checked it’s chamber to make sure it had enough bullets should I run into any trouble.

I clicked it back in place, and then walked to one of the cars, a light tan one, the keys were already in it, I laid the gun and map on the passenger side then started it up and headed out.  As I drove out of the farm and down the street I turned and headed where I was pretty sure the town was.  I grabbed the map placing it on the steering wheel to read it.  I wasn’t paying attention to the road; I didn’t think I’d have to considering I was the only person driving.

By the time I looked up it was too late, I gasped as I saw a walker right in front of me.  I swerved the car as it snarled at me hitting it breaking the passenger side of the glass as it went rolling onto the ground.  I screamed as I was out of control, I drove off the road, drove up a bump and flipped the car, it rolled then came to a stop on its drivers side, the sun was going down, I lost consciousness then, the only car on the road and I still got in an accident.

* * *

 

No Idea

Shane's POV

 

After I took care of Carol I got the water and headed back to where T-Dog was still working, Andrea was still at the house helping Maggie and Patricia look after Beth while they waited for Rick and Glenn to get back with Hershel.  Together T-Dog and I threw body after body of walkers on a pyre we had created, having gathered sticks and logs and twigs to help burn them.  We had chosen to burn them back behind the barn, a little bit of distance but still in clear view of the barn and farm house.

I grabbed the last one’s arms, while T-Dog grabbed the legs as we both threw it onto the rest of them.  It stunk to high heavens and was about to get worse.  “You ready?”  I asked as I leaned against the tail gate taking off my police cap.

“Yeah.”  T-Dog said.  “Man, how many times we gonna have to do this?”  T-Dog asked.  I didn’t have an answer for him.  T-Dog headed to get a lighter and some gas to help the fire.  I grabbed two thick sticks from another pile; I took some pink colored rags and wrapped them around the sticks at the top.  When T-Dog got back he had Andrea with him, I held both out as he poured the kerosene he’d found all over them.  Andrea lit one that I held out to her, and then I lit the other with it.

Once they were both burning I held one out to T-Dog who took it, Andrea watched from where she stood next to the truck as we walked to the bodies.  I threw mine on top it burst into flames.  T-Dog’s followed and we just stood there watching them all burn.

I had no idea the trouble going down with Rick and the others in town.  No idea Lori had gotten herself in an accident, no idea how it was going to go with Beth.  No idea that Glenn and Daryl had broken up because of Maggie and no idea that Carl had barrowed my power that morning, and would do it again to save his dad….from me.  These were not things I knew as I watched the pyre blaze, but it wouldn’t be long, before I found out.  That lost one, would cost me my life.


	9. Missing Scenes for Triggerfinger

Scream

Lori's POV

 

I started to come to, the sun had gone down, the crickets were chirping, my blinkers were clicking as a growling penetrated my aching head.  I was lying in an awkward position, my temple bleeding from where I’d hit the steering wheel.  I slowly opened my eyes to take in my situation.

The first thing I saw was the walker I had hit earlier trying to get to me through a hole in the front window.  I inhaled shakily as I started to scream as I realized that if I didn’t get out of here I was going to be walker food, and that thought frightened me to the core.

I was gasping and grunting as I was trying to move my aching body.  I couldn’t take my eyes off the walker that was snarling and growling chopping through the window, its face getting all torn up by the glass, but it didn’t care as it was widening out the hole trying to get to me.  Its face was peeling apart, and I felt sick as its blood was dripping into the car near me.

I forced myself to move, to get out of the car.  I got the belt off then grabbed the passenger seat with one hand, while the other braced against the roof as I pulled and pushed myself up towards the open passenger side window above me, and I was so thankful that walkers are stupid at that moment.

As I got closer I moved my hands to the open window, grasping the door I started to pull myself out as my feet touched the ground.  It wasn’t easy as gravity and my injuries were working against me as I grunted with the effort as the walkers head was almost inside the car.  My hand slipped and I yelped as I fell back hitting the driver’s door, I knew I was going to have bruises from head to toe when this was all over, if I survived.

One of its hands started to help it move the shards of shattered glass to get to its food.  Which was me, I was freaking out big time, and realizing this had been a stupid idea, I should’ve just waited until Daryl deemed they’d been gone to long and went to look for them himself.

The glass broke and its hand started to reach for me.  I turned to go over the seats to get to the back of the car and make my way out there.  I screamed as it grabbed my hair pulling me back, it was growling as I was screaming as I put one of my hands on its to get it off my hair as it’s face was getting closer.  I used my other hand to grab around the steering wheel and felt for the blinker switch, I grasped a hold of it and pulled with all my strength pulling it from the column, and then looking at the head about the bite into my shoulder as I rammed the metal part of the switch through its eye and into its brain, killing it.

After it released me and just lied there halfway in and halfway out of the car I pushed passed the seats to the back, where the trunk was open and made it out.  I backed away from it as the adrenalin was still pumping in my system.

I took a few feet towards the car as I was calming down; I rubbed the blood off my lip where it had split.  A walker came up behind me growling as it grabbed me.  I screamed again. “Shit!”  It pulled on my jacket, which came off as I fell to the ground the walker falling with me.

I started to crawl away as it grabbed my leg.  “NO!”  I screamed as I tried to pull away from it.  I crawled into the grass at the side of the road, tears in my eyes as I saw a hub cap that had been thrown off when I crashed; I grabbed it and twisted around hitting the walker in the face with it forcing him off of me.  I got to my feet, the walker was still alive as it was starting to get up as well.

I looked and saw my gun in the car lying on the floor near the driver’s seat.  I dove back into the car as the walker got to its feet and started for me again.  I grabbed the gun and turned looking out the trunk as I saw the walker right in front of me.  I whimpered as I aimed the gun and fired right before it grabbed me a second time.  Panting I exited the car…again and keept my gun aimed at it as I looked at the wreck, then I heard rumbling above me as the storm was getting closer.  I calmed my breathing as I put my gun in the back of my pants and continued heading to town to get Rick.

* * *

 

Search

Shane's POV

 

I walked into the farm house with Andrea for dinner after we finished watching the last of the bon fire die out.  I was rubbing my hands as I smelt the food the girls had prepared being placed on the table.  I was a little worried ‘cause Rick and Glenn hadn’t gotten back with Hershel yet and since the sun set it was even more dangerous out there for them.

Andrea spoke what was on my mind.  “They should’ve been back by now.”  Carl and T-Dog were sitting at the table as Patricia was putting the food out.  Dale was placing napkins next to the plates as I walked to the head of the table and sat down.

“Yeah, they just got holed up somewhere.”  I assured Andrea as she sat while Patricia put a bowl of green beans next to us as I continued.  “We’ll—we’ll head out first thing in the morning.”  I cleared my throat as I started to put the green beans on my plate.  “Thank you.”  I told Patricia.

Carol came in with a basket of rolls.  “Here.”  I said handing Andrea the spoon for the beans I had just used.

“Thanks.”  She said as she took it.

I looked to Carl then.  “Carl, I want you to keep your head up, okay?  Your old man he’s the toughest son of a—”

“No cussing in the house.”  Patricia interrupted me.  She was putting silverware on the table for us to use while Carol after setting the bread down before walking around to her chair next to Carl, Maggie sat at the other end of the table, while Jimmy was helping Patricia put silverware down the only ones who weren’t there yet was Daryl who I figured wasn’t going to be joining us, and Lori.

I looked at Patricia, she was right.  “Sorry.”  I told her.

“Lori, dinner.”  Carol called; Maggie looked at her as she headed out the door to get her.  T-Dog was starting to pass the bread around.

“She’s not in there.”  Maggie told Carol.

“Where is she?”  Dale asked.  Maggie looked back at us, so did Carol, no one answered Dale’s question and that got me worried, I asked with food in my mouth of course.

“Carl, when’s the last time you saw your mom?”   I swallowed.

“This afternoon.”  He answered.

“She was worried about Rick, asked me to look in on Carl.”  Andrea informed us.

“She went after them?”  Dale asked.

Andrea looked at him.  “She didn’t say that.”

I put my napkin on the table as I stood up.  “Nobody panic, she’s gonna be around here somewhere.”  I told them to keep ‘em calm, especially Carl.  ‘Cause if she did go after Rick all I could think was how irresponsible with that baby inside her and Carl, how could she do that to him.  The rest followed my lead as we started our search for Lori.

* * *

 

Panic

Rick's POV

 

We were trapped in the bar with Dave and Tony’s friends right outside the door, first I tried to reason with them, and they opened fire.  All I could think was getting Hershel back to his girls, getting back to my family and keeping Glenn and his baby safe so Daryl didn’t skin me alive.   I was an idiot for sending Glenn to the basement to check out some noise we heard.

When I heard a shotgun blast I called out to him hoping he hadn’t been hurt.  “Glenn!  Glenn!”  I started to run for the backdoor when I heard him.

“I—I’m all right, I’m all right.”  I stopped at Hershel relieved to hear that Glenn was okay.

“I’ll hold ‘em here, you cover Glenn.”  I whispered to Hershel.  “See if you can make it to your car.  Tell him—tell him to pull up back.  We’ll run for it, get the hell out of here.”

“You want me to cover Glenn?”  He asked double checking.

“You missed all that gun training.  It could’ve come in handy now.”  I told him.

“Nah, I can shoot, just don’t like to.”  He informed me as he cocked his pistol and then headed out back to help Glenn, leaving me to secure the front while they got our getaway.

* * *

 

Search and Rescue

Daryl's POV

 

After talking with Lori I grabbed the extra tent that Glenn had been using before we started to share the one that Merle and I had used, I went back to where I was setting up camp away from everyone and pitched my tent, I got a fire going for my own dinner.  I was starting to get concerned when I hadn’t heard a car pull up since I talked with Lori, though I did hear a car leave earlier so I figured she went to Shane and he headed out for the guys.

I was stoking my fire with the stick I’d whittled when I heard someone jogging towards me; I glanced back and saw Carol in the distance, being able to see in the dark was a real advantage.  I turned back to my fire not sure what she wanted.

“We can’t find Lori and the others aren’t back yet either.”  Carol informed me as she slowed down and stopped to catch her breath.  So it was her I heard leaving.

“Yeah.  That dumb bitch must’ve gone off looking for ‘em.”  I never respected Lori and now after I told her I’d go looking if they didn’t return by morning, anyone else going out at night was foolish, I was the only one that could do a proper nightly search.

“What?”  Carol asked.

“Yeah, she asked me to go.  Told her I’d go if they weren’t back by nightfall.”  Not exactly what I said but close enough to what I had intended.  “Guess she got impatient.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”  Carol asked.  I didn’t answer her, she turned and started walking away but she came back.  “Don’t do this.”  She begged.  “Please.  I know your hurting but don’t pull away; I’ve already lost my girl.”

I stood up then and faced her.  “That wasn’t my problem.”  I threw the stick down as I headed towards my tent and then stopped.  I looked back at her.  “Let me get my things.”  I told her.  I cared about Glenn, as much as it hurt to hear he’d kissed Maggie, and being blinded by that I had broken up with him so I wouldn’t feel that kind of pain ever again.  But truth was I missed him, I didn’t want to sleep on my own and I believed him, he had chosen me over her, I believed he wouldn’t do it again.  I may not have been able to trust him right away, but he had been honest with me, so I still believed him.

I grabbed my crossbow slinging it on my back and walked with her back to where the others were.  I heard Shane as we got closer.  “She’s not at the barn.”

“I checked the yards.”  T-Dog told ‘em.

“Well, where is she?”  Carl asked as we walked up.

“She asked Daryl to go into town.”  Carol informed them.

“She went herself, I heard a car head out; I assumed it was you.”  I pointed to Shane.  “After I told her that I wouldn’t go until morning if they hadn’t made it back.  I figured she went to you, I was wrong.”

Carl whimpered at that as he covered his mouth.  “Hey.”  Andrea said as she put her hand on the back of his neck, I didn’t blame him for being scared his dad had already left to get Hershel and now his mom.  I would never just up an abandon my kid, Rick can take care of himself but Carl needed her and where was she on some fool’s errand after I told her that I’d go looking if they didn’t get back tonight.

Carl ran off.  “Carl.”  Andrea called for him.

Shane looked at Dale.  “Did you know about this?”  Shane asked him.

“No.”  Dale told him.  I knew things between them weren’t good, but this wasn’t his fault, it was mine because I was too angry at failing to find Sophia and still reeling from the revelation of what happened between Glenn and Maggie, to think straight enough to go out right then when she asked.

“Look, just—did she take a gun?”  Shane asked.

“I don’t know.”  Dale told him.  “I wouldn’t let her go out there alone.”

“Daryl you coming?”  Shane asked as he walked to his car nearby.  I got in the passenger side.  “We find Lori, I’ll get her home and if we haven’t passed the guys at that point, you head on into town and get them.”  Shane instructed as he started it up and we headed out of the farm to find Lori, I agreed with this.

Once out of the gate from the farm Shane stepped on the gas, I was scanning everything, listening for anything.  “Stop up ahead.”  I told him moments before the car came into view for him.  He slowed and stopped.  We both got out, Shane closed his door.  I smelt gun powder and blood, there was two walkers, one in the car’s window halfway in and halfway out, the other was lying next to the car with a bullet hole in the brain.

I stayed where I was with my door open, listening and looking, I didn’t see her; I couldn’t hear her either.  “She’s not here.”  I told him.

He still looked around, his shotgun pressed against his shoulder as he kicked the downed walker next to the car and went around to look at the other, he kicked that one two, neither moved.  He looked in the car.  Then looked at me and relented as he headed back.  A distant rumbling shook the sky as the storm I felt in the air was getting closer.

He got back in I joined him and we headed out again going pretty fast trying to find Lori before any more walkers did.  “Slow up ahead she’s there.”   I told Shane as I saw her several minutes later, he slowed the car as soon as the lights were shining on her.  She turned as our car approached, she looked banged up from the car accident, she should be at the farm taking care of that kid of hers being a good mother, I had no respect for her then, and I still don’t may she rest in peace.  Shane and I got out of the car.

He walked up to her.  “You’re all right?”  He asked worried.

“I’m fine.”  She told him, I stayed near the car as they had it out.

“You’re not fine, we saw the wreck.”  Shane told her as he checked her out.  “Let me look at you.”  He pulled out a flash light to see if she had a concussion.  He sighed as it looked okay.  “What happened?”

“Looked down at the map and hit a walker.”  She explained, she glanced at me, I turned and grabbed my crossbow and started to head down the road, the town wasn’t that far from here.

“Next time stay put, you won’t need a map.”  Shane told her.  He sighed again as he turned off the flashlight and spoke as he headed back towards the car.  “Come on, I gotta get you back.”

“No, we gotta find Rick.”  She grabbed his arm to stop him.

I looked at her then.  “You gotta get your Prego ass back to the farm.  I’m headed to get the others.”  I told her.  She was shocked that I knew.  “Don’t act so surprised, you have all the same symptoms as Glenn, it was pretty easy to figure out.”  I told her.  “Now you either get back to that farm, or Shane will drag you back.”

“Just find Rick.”  Lori begged.

“I will.”  I assured her.  I looked at Shane we both nodded, and then she easily walked with him to the car as I continued on to town.  I heard Shane turn around and drive back to the farm.  I started a brisk pace to the town, I ducked down when I saw another car coming, a driver, the only person in the car, moving pretty fast as it turned off onto one of the side roads and disappeared.  That’s when I heard it, all the growling and groaning.  Walkers and then I heard someone scream in pain.  I knew it wasn’t Glenn, different scream, but it came from town I picked up my pace.

“Please don’t leave me!  Please! No!”  I heard, I aimed and shot a walker it dropped, I grabbed my arrow as I passed and then I heard metal break and a scream of agony.  I saw them lifting the kid up, to get to the Cherokee as walkers were surrounding them.

“Glenn, Rick.”  I called, they didn’t hear me, I was too far away.  They and the kid that was with them piled into the red van and started to drive off.  I ran to try and catch them and pulled out my hunting knife as I still hadn’t reloaded my bow, I threw it on my back as I took one down, I was screwed as I was getting surrounded. 

“Daryl!  Run!”  I heard Glenn scream from where they stopped the van.  Rick got out of the car and shot a couple of them as I put my hunting knife in one.  Glenn grabbed his shot gun and blasted one that was headed right for me. I then made a fast sprint to the car and jumped into the hatchback with Glenn as he slammed the doors shut just as one of the walkers reached us banging on the glass between us and it

“Gogogogogo.”  I said as Rick stepped on the gas and we got out of the town as fast as we could.

* * *

 

Dale Was Right

Lori's POV

 

Shane gave me a paper towel for my head; I rolled it up and pressed it to my wound as I asked.  “If Daryl hadn’t gone with you, would you have gone after Rick?”

“No.”  He answered; he turned onto the road into the farm.

“So what, you would’ve lied to get me back here?”  I asked not really believing he’d do that.

“You bet your ass I would have.”  That pissed me off as he parked the car and we got out.

“Oh my God, are you all right?  What happened?”  Andrea asked as she, T-Dog, Patricia and Maggie walked up to us.

“I was in an accident.”  I informed them.

“She was attacked.”  Shane told ‘em.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.  I really am.”  I assured them.

“Where’s Daryl?”  Andrea asked.

“He went on to town to get Rick; it was the only way I would come home.”

“Shouldn’t have gone in the first place.”  Shane told me.

“I had to go, no one else would.”

“Did you even ask me; were you even thinking of yourself and that baby?”  Shane asked of my decision to run off to look for Rick.   Truth was I hadn’t really thought of the fact that I was pregnant that whole night, I just needed to get to Rick and bring him home.

Everyone looked shocked at that bit of news, and then Carl spoke up as he had walked up to us just in time to hear that.  “You’re having a baby?”  I didn’t say anything as I looked at him; I didn’t know what to say.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I was speechless; Shane sighed as he turned and put his hands on the hood of the car and looked down.  Dale finally broke the uncomfortable silence that had descended on us.  “Come on.  Let’s make sure you’re all right.”

“Come on.”  Andrea agreed as she put her arm around me and we headed back to the farm house so I could get cleaned up.

I looked back at Shane, I was still mad at him, for the fact that he would’ve lied to me to get me back to the farm and for blurting out in front of everyone that I was pregnant.  I wasn’t ready to tell Carl and I certainly hadn’t wanted him to find out like that.

Maggie walked back in with Beth as I sat on the couch in the living area outside the room with the others.  Andrea got me a glass of water, Dale brought me a folded up cloth that would be better for my head then the paper towel and Carl sat next to me.  I took the water.  “Thank you.”  I told Andrea before I set it on the small table in front of me; then pressed the cloth to my forehead.

“I am so sorry that I left without telling you.”  I told Carl as Andrea and Dale sat on the other loveseat against the wall next to the window.

“It’s okay.  I wasn’t scared.”  He told me.  “When’s dad getting back?”  He asked.

“Let’s hope soon.  Daryl’ll make sure of that.”  I assured him.

“I wanna be there when you tell him about the baby.”

“Oh, love, he already knows.  We were just trying to find the right time to tell you.”  I informed him as I started to rub his back.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”  Carl asked.

I turned on the couch curling one of my legs up to face him better as I answered his question.  “Well, we won’t know that until it’s born.”

“Will I be able to feel it?”  Carl asked, I had a feeling he’d been wanting to ask Glenn these questions, but was to shy about it so now he was asking me.

“Not for a while.  You must have a lot of questions, huh?”  I looked over at Dale and Andrea as I informed them.  “We never had the talk.”  I looked back at Carl.  “I guess we forgot.”

Carl looked at Dale.  “Don’t look at me, that’s your father’s job.”

“If the baby’s a girl, can we name her Sophia?”  Carl asked.

Shane leaned in the door way then; I glanced at him before he spoke.  “Hey, dude.  Hey, I’m sorry bud okay?  I thought you knew.”  Dale stood up while Shane talked, none of us were happy with what happened outside, Carl should never have found out like that.

“Big brother Carl.”  He flicked his sheriff’s hat.  “Pretty cool, huh?”

“I say that’s very cool.”  Shane laughed; I was still pissed at him.  “You—you mind if I talk to your mom a sec?  Hmm?”

“How about a little later after she’s had some rest?”  Andrea suggested.

“Lori, I had to get you back here, I’m sorry he found out that way, but you should’ve come to me when Daryl didn’t go instead of running off on your own.”  Dale and Andrea continued to look at him I didn’t respond.  “How about you—How about you just hear me out, please?”

“Okay.  Give me a minute.”  I requested of Carl.  He nodded and started to stand as Shane patted his arm.

“Thanks bud.”  He told him.  Andrea and Dale followed suit.  Dale looked at me before leaving.

“Okay, Lori, I would’ve lied, one little white lie to get you back here.”  He figured out what had really pissed me off.  “I think you oughta be thinking about how lucky we are that your baby’s safe.”

“You just can’t stop lying, can you?”  I asked, Rick being dead, Otis I now believed he lied about as well, and he would’ve lied to get me back here if Daryl hadn’t decided to go with him to get Glenn, I know that’s why he was with him, not for Rick but for Glenn.

“My husband is dead in some hospital.”  I was still angry about that, for all those weeks I had been sleeping with him believing my husband was dead, he had lied to me, no telling what lie he would’ve told me to get me here.

“Oh, when are you gonna—when are you gonna stop throwing that in my face, huh?  I thought that he was—” He stopped and took a breath as he walked around the couch and sat down before continuing.  “The point here, Lor, is that you cannot keep running off like that.  What were you thinking?”  He asked me.

“I was thinking we needed Rick here to keep us safe.”  I told him.

“Rick?  _I_ keep you safe.”

“Like you did with Otis?”  That’s why I hadn’t gone to him after Daryl turned me down, and I just couldn’t wait, after Dale told me about Otis I panicked, and I no longer felt safe around Shane, we needed Rick.  He didn’t answer me as he looked away.  “What happened that night?”  I asked in a whisper.  “You haven’t been the same since.”

“You wanna know what happened with Otis?”  He asked also whispering.  “What happened with Otis happened because I love you.”  Oh that’s rich, he needs to get off of that, he does not love me.  I rolled my eyes as I looked away, he continued.  “I love you and I love Carl, that’s right.”

“I told Rick.”  I informed him, it took a minute but he started to realize what I meant.

“What?”  He sighed.  “You told—you told him what?”  I looked down that was when he really got it.  “Did you tell him that you thought you were a widow?  That you were grieving and that the world was coming to an end?  That—that you needed comforting?”  I nodded.  “Did you tell him it was a mistake?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He put his head between his hands and sighed as he rubbed his temples before looking back up as he spoke again.  “You know, Lori, that ain’t true.  What we had, it was real.”

“It was not.”

“It was a long time coming, it was real, Lori.”

“It was not.”  I told him again, he seemed to be in denial about our relationship and what it had truly been which was nothing; it had been one of convenience, to take the edge off with all the stress and grief of losing my husband.  I had meant nothing to me.

“It was you and it was me and Carl, and it was real.”  He looked at me.  “It was right, don’t say it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Yeah?  Just think about what you felt, just for a second.  What you fe—what you felt.  Everything falling apart all around us, but it—it was the one good thing.”  I didn’t answer him, he was sounding a little like a man obsessed and that scared me, I knew Dale was right; Shane was dangerous to all of us.  But especially to my family.  “And you know it’s true.”  I looked away and didn’t answer him.   He finally stood up and left me to myself.

* * *

 

Sisters and War

Andrea's POV

 

A few hours after Lori had been returned the sun had come up, the guys weren’t back yet so Shane started to gather people and pack up to head out to look for them, I walked into the house to check on Maggie and Beth, she was still next to her sister, Patricia was checking her vitals again.

“How is she?”  I asked, they looked at me.

“Dehydrated.”  Patricia said as she patted Beth’s hand before standing back up.  “I’ll set up an I.V. best I can do without Hershel.”  She sighed as she shook her head and walked out to get that started.

Maggie moved closer to Beth since Patricia wasn’t in the way.  “Hey.”  She said softly talking to Beth trying to get her to respond.  I moved and sat on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed while Maggie held Beth’s hand and rubbed her arm with her other hand.

“Can I get you anything?”  I asked wanting to help.

“Nah, I just wish my dad was here.”  Maggie told me.

“She’ll be okay.  You just need to be strong for her.”  Maggie and Beth reminded me of my own relationship with my sister, I still missed her, and I always will.  But I had to stop hating myself and blaming myself for her death.

“I was just reminding her about—never mind.”  Maggie shook her head as she set her arm down and ran her fingers through Beth’s hair.

“No, no.  I—I’d love to hear.”  I told her wanting a good story right about now while Shane was getting everything together.

“My dad would die if he heard this.  My first summer back from college, I drove home, dumped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride.  My family comes back from church and Beth grabs my things and starts unpacking my stuff upstairs.”

“That’s sweet.”  I told her, Amy and I were born so far apart that I missed a lot of her life growing up.  Those last couple of months were the best I had, had with her in a long time, and while the situation had been horrible the time with my sister was some of the best.

“Yeah, until this one here starts rifling through my backpack.  She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside.  She didn’t even know I was on the pill.  She was so freaked out by the idea of me, boys and sex.  That she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond.”  She looks back at me before continuing.  “And I ride up, I see this, I’m screaming.”  There were tears in her eyes.   “She’s crying and Shawn runs outside, thinks one of us is drowning.  Soon as he figures out what’s going on, the jerk busts out laughing so loud that my horse rears up and gets mud all over three of us.”

She shakes her head then goes on.  “My dad comes out, ‘what the heck is going on out here?!’ And she turns around, bats her eyelids and says, ‘we’re just swimming, daddy.’”  She pauses as she blinks away tears then continues while still running her hand through Beth’s hair.  “In her Sunday dress, all covered in snot and mud.”

“Rick, Glenn and Daryl will get your dad back.”  Maggie nodded.

“Glenn’s a good guy.”

“Yeah, he is.”  I agreed, I was sure she had no idea he was pregnant, though I had to wonder what kind of relationship those two had started ‘cause I was oblivious to what was going on around that camp.  Including what was between Shane, Rick and Lori.  I couldn’t have been more blind if I had actually been blind.

I left a few minutes later and walked to the R.V. where Dale was and grabbed my hand gun and bag while Shane and T-Dog were loading up the car with guns and gear that we may need.  I started to leave the camper as I loaded my gun Dale followed.

“Are you sure you wanna risk it?”  Dale asked me.  I was putting my gun in the back of my pants as he continued.  “You might not make it back.”

“I’ll be fine.”  I assured him.  I knew that he was worried and I knew that he didn’t trust Shane, but I could take care of myself.

“And with Shane at the helm, I wouldn’t be too sure.  He’s lost people before.”  I stopped at the picnic table picking up one of the canteens as I looked at him not sure what he was getting at.

“And he’s had my back.  What are you insinuating?”  I asked.

“He doesn’t want Rick back, or Hershel.  With them gone, he’s got everything he wants and no one to tell him otherwise.”

I might have been naïve and had a little bit of a crush so I truly believed my next words.  “Shane has done more to keep this group alive than anybody, including Rick.”

“You can’t possibly believe that.”

“I do.”  I told him then started to walk towards the car where they were loading up.  “Guy’s.”  I said to Shane and T-Dog then handed them the other canteen so we had plenty of water.

At about that time we heard a car, we turned and saw the red van Hershel had taken driving up.  As they turned and parked we all ran up to greet them relieved they were okay.  Though they had a surprise for us in the form of a man named Randall and he was hurt, while Hershel worked on him Rick and Glenn let us in on what had happened last night in town.  Afterwards Shane was pissed at the idea of letting him go after a week and I had to agree.  Shane got into it with Hershel, and then he left.  That had seemed to be the end of the conversation, Shane posted T-Dog to keep watch; I walked up to him after a little while

“Want me to take watch?”  I asked, after seeing and hearing him and Hershel I figured he might need to head out to vent or just calm down.

“Yeah.”  He sighed.  “Relieve T, in a few hours.  I’m gonna take the graveyard.”  We were walking back to camp as we talked.

“And then what?  We just send him on his merry way?”  I asked; I hadn’t agreed with Rick, that kid was dangerous.

Shane scoffed.  “According to Rick and Hershel.”

“If he finds his people and leads them here, we’ll have a war on our hands.”  I told him.

He ran his hand over his head.  “You know you’re preaching to the choir, girl.”  He slowed to a stop.

I faced him.  “You ever consider a lighter touch?”  I asked; he looked down as I continued.  “Abandoning the search for Sophia, taking out the walkers in the barn, mentioning that Lori’s pregnant today—those were all the right calls.  It’s your presentation that leaves something to be desired.”  I believed that knowing another member of our group is pregnant was a good call, though to just come out and say it like that.

“Dale send you?”  He asked agitated as he started walking again.

“I see you pushing everyone away.  For what?  They need you.”

“Huh, I’ll always be the odd man out—the same as you.”

“I’ve made my peace.”

“Have you?”  He stopped again.  “The way I see it, you and me, we—we’re treated the same way.  Everyone’s always trying to take the gun out of your hand.  These folks—they want to play house.  They wanna pretend that Rick and Hershel—they know what they’re doing.  Lemme tell you something—they bound to get us all killed.”  I believed him, but Shane had another motive for getting rid of Rick and Hershel, Dale had been right, and I had been to blind to see it.

“Then we have to stop that.”  I told him.

“They don’t listen.  They’re gonna give this kid a care package, they’re gonna send him on his way.  And you right, that’s gonna bring on a war or something worse, and we’re just gonna—we’re gonna sit here and wait for it.”  He paused for a second then continued.  “But you and me, we—we’re the only ones who see it coming.   I should’ve left with you when I had the chance.”  That was it.  There was nothing more to say as he walked away, I turned back to camp and saw Daryl setting up a tent next to the one that he had been sharing with Glenn, that’s when I realized that something was wrong between them.  Though I didn’t pry and during the course of the week I watched ‘em and they seemed fine and it really was none of my business.

* * *

 

Protect What’s Yours

Rick's POV

 

After finishing with Hershel, and Shane left to get T-Dog on guard duty at the shed I walked back to the tent with Lori to get cleaned up.  I walked in and she followed closing up the tent flap, I started unbuttoning my shirt, I groaned as I tried to take it off my sore muscles pulling.  “Oh, oh man.”

Lori grabbed one of my sleeves.  “Come here.”  She said as she eased it down so I didn’t have to strain my aching arms.

“Thank you.  Ah.”  I said as I freed my arm from the confines of my shirt.  We both started laughing as I finished taking it off and putting in the pile of dirty laundry that needed to be washed.  I turned around as she started taking her top off.

“Ooh.”  Lori chuckles as she too was having problems.  “Need your help.”  She told me, I walked up behind her, and put my hands at the hem of her shirt lifting it off of her, she groaned as she had to raise her arms and I toss it on the pile.

“We’re like a couple of old people.”  I told her jokingly, she laughed.  She took her bra off as I sat on the cot where Carl slept.

“We need to talk about Shane.”  Lori said.

I sighed before responding.  “What’s he done now?”  I started removing my boots and socks as she spoke.

“He thinks the baby’s his.”  I looked at her as she put on a fresh bra and shirt.  “No matter what, it’s yours.”  She assured me.  I sighed again as I put my arms on my legs to think.

“He’ll accept that.”  I thought I knew Shane, who he was, what he was capable of, but in a world gone to hell you never know the true nature of people.  I thought Shane was a good guy, this all happened and he turned into a man I couldn’t even recognize.  A man like Daryl on the other hand was different, he was a man that I was sure couldn’t be trusted.  He became my best friend and him and Glenn the godparents of my children should anything have happened to me.  You just never know.

“You’re gonna have to make him, he won’t listen to me.  He’s delusional and he’s dangerous.  When I went looking for you he came after me…”

“I know Daryl told me.”

“If Daryl hadn’t been there and gone after you, Shane said he would’ve lied to me to get me back to the farm.  Leaving you and the others to die.”  Lori sat down then and started taking her own shoes and socks off, I didn’t say anything.  “You saw what he did at the barn.   He’s threatened Dale and Hershel.  He’s scaring people and he’s scaring me.”  She paused then as she had my full attention, then she said something that really started me thinking.  “And I think he killed Otis.  I think he left him behind and I think—I think he did it not just to save Carl but because he loves me…”  She ran her hand through her hair.

“But you don’t know that.”

“…And he thinks that we’re supposed to be together no matter what.”  She crossed her arms as she sat back in her chair, for several minutes neither of us spoke as I rubbed my hands together.

“Those gunmen left that kid behind today.  I killed two people myself because of you, and Carl and the baby.”  She moved then to the cot, she climbed on behind me and hugged me.  “It was gonna be me and not them no matter what.”

“You killed the living to protect what’s yours?”  She asked.

“That’s right.”  I told her.

“Shane thinks I’m his.”  She whispered in my ear.  “He thinks the baby’s his.  And he says you can’t protect us, that you’re gonna get us killed.  He’s dangerous, Rick, and he won’t stop.”  She was right and I wished I had listened.


	10. Missing Scenes for 18 Miles Out

Especially For Me

Lori's POV

 

It’s been a week since I went off on my own and got in that car accident, a week since Rick, Hershel, Glenn and Daryl came back with an injured man named Randall, and a week since Beth collapsed.  She’s come out of her catatonic state, but she’s very depressed, hardly eats, won’t talk to anyone, Maggie’s concerned.  Maggie and I were in the kitchen fixing her lunch, the rest of us had eaten not long after Rick and Shane left with Randall to drop him off a safe distance.

The rest of us figured out what had happened between Maggie, Glenn and Daryl during that dreadful day.  They no longer shared a tent, and Daryl was not speaking to Maggie, him and Glenn were trying to make it work to get back to where they had been, and Maggie had backed off to be just a friend.  It was obvious she was trying to make it up to Daryl but he wasn’t having any of it.

I cut the chicken while Maggie was cutting the vegetables.  “Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back from town?”  Maggie asked out of the blue.

“Just that it had gotten pretty bad.”  I informed her as I put the chicken on the plate.

“He’s not the same.”  Maggie mentioned, I grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip.  “Say’s he froze.  Lori, did you…You and the others know?”  Maggie asked.

I looked at her.  “Yes, we know he’s pregnant.”  I confirmed.

“I didn’t know, when I-when I kissed him I didn’t know.”  Maggie said as she arranged the vegetables on the plate, some cut up tomato and cucumber.

“You know now, that’s what matters.”

“Glenn says we’re friends but he’s keeping me at a distance.”

I turned around and grabbed a tray.  “Can you blame him?”  I asked.

“No, I guess not, I just, I’ve apologized a million times what more do they want.”  Maggie whined.  I set the tray on the table as I looked at her, and then moved near the sink to grab a napkin, knife and fork as I started to explain things.

“Maggie you kissed Glenn, you knew he was with Daryl and you kissed him anyways.  You’ve realized you screwed up, but now you have the pay the piper, you have to earn their trust.  Especially Daryl’s, he’s not as forgiving as Glenn, in fact he can be downright spiteful, you just have to ask yourself what are you willing to do to get into his good graces’.”  I took a slice of cucumber.

“What should I do?”  Maggie asked as I leaned against the counter, and she poured a glass of tea setting it on the tray for Beth.

“Beg, plead, be a big girl and show him, assure him that what happened with Glenn, will never happen again.”  I informed her as I took a bite.

“Let me just get this to Beth.”  Maggie said as she started to walk around the kitchen table.

“You go on.  I got it.”  I assured her as I finished my cucumber and picked up the tray, the conversation was over and now Maggie had some serious making up to do with Glenn and Daryl.

I turned and with tray in hand I headed to the bedroom Beth’s been staying in since she collapsed.  I adjusted my hold on the tray with one arm as I opened the door with the other.  “Knock, knock.”  I announced as I walked in.  Beth moved to sit up as she looked at me; I set the tray on the bedside table.

“How about this—you, uh—you eat up all your food, we’ll get you up and out of here and go take a walk what do you say?”  I asked, we’ve been having trouble getting her to eat, and she hasn’t left the room in a week, a little sun shine would do her good.  “It’ll do good to be outside.”

She didn’t look at me, just straight ahead as she spoke.  “You and Glenn are pregnant.  How could y’all do that?”  She asked.

“Uh, we don’t really have a choice.”  I informed her, Glenn really didn’t have a choice.  I mean I knew I could get pregnant, but he had no idea.  Total surprise.

“You think it’ll make a difference?”  She was monotone as she spoke, there but disconnected.

“Of course it will.”  I assured her, truth was I had no idea, I hoped, I prayed.   All I could do was go on with this baby, me and Glenn.  “You eat something.”  I gave her a small encouraging smile and then walked out closing the door.

I waited an hour before going back to Beth to collect the dishes.  I knocked on the door before I entered; I looked and saw her tray, the food now cold.  “Couldn’t eat a thing, huh?  You’re gonna—” I paused as I looked at her, seeing her crying.

I moved from the door and knelt next to the bed where she was sitting.  “Hey.”  I said softly.  “I know how hard it is.  I tried for days to reach my mom, get her on the phone.  I can only assume—”

“It’s just so pointless.”  Beth said.

“Oh.  You have Maggie, your father, Patricia and Jimmy.  And you’ve gotta stay strong for them.  I wish I could promise you it would be all right in the end.  I can’t, but we can make now all right.  And we have to.”  I encouraged her.

She finally looked at me, tear stained face and sad eyes as she said.  “Thank you.”  I gave her a small reassuring smile.

“I’ll be right back.  We’ll go take that walk.”  I said as I stood up.  I ran my hand over her hair, then turned and picked up the tray; I shut the door as I took it back to the kitchen.  I exhaled deeply as I set it next to the sink, everything Beth was going through, was heart breaking.  I set the tea on the counter and then threw the napkin off to the side as I held the fork.  I looked at it and realized the knife was missing.

I turned and went back to the room, I opened the door.  “Beth?”  I asked, she was lying down with the covers up to her shoulders.  First I had hoped it had just fallen off, so I knelt and looked around the bedside table, it wasn’t there.

I stood back up.  “You give it to me sweetheart.  You don’t wanna do this.”  I told her.  She moved the covers down and held it out to me.  I took it then left, I put it in the kitchen, before I ran out the door to find Hershel and Maggie.

I ran to our camp.  “Andrea, have you seen Maggie or Hershel?”  I called as I got closer to Andrea’s post on top of the RV.

“I haven’t seen Hershel, but I saw Maggie a little while ago looking for Daryl and Glenn.  Maybe 20 minutes ago.”  Andrea informed me.

“Could you find her for me?  I’ve gotta get back to the house.”  I said urgently.

“Of course.”  She promised.  I turned and ran back to the house; I didn’t want to leave Beth alone right now.  She was liable not to just hurt herself, but to also take her own life and I’d never forgive myself if I let that happen.

Andrea got back with Maggie maybe fifteen minutes later and I told her what happened, she left to go speak with her sister, for a little while it was quit, I was sitting on the counter next to the sink, Andrea was leaning against the other one across from the table.  Neither of us said anything as we started to hear Maggie and Beth screaming at each other. 

“Where’s Hershel?”  Andrea asked.

“He doesn’t want to find out yet.”  I told her as I ate a cucumber.  “It’s a family affair we’ll let them work it out.”

“That’s working it out?”  Andrea asked of the continued shouting match.

“When Beth stops fighting, that’s when it’s time to worry.”  I told her as I hopped off the counter.  Andrea looked at me as we heard Maggie loud and clear.

“You are being so selfish!”

“This could’ve been handled better.”  Andrea said.

“How so?”  I asked as I moved to the table in the middle of the kitchen and started to clear the dishes moving them to the sink.  Andrea sighed.

“You shouldn’t have taken the knife away.”  I stopped what I was doing and looked at her with disbelief, when someone wants to commit suicide you don’t aid them, you keep watch, and try and help them through it.

“Excuse me?”  I asked.

“You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun, that wasn’t your decision.”  The shouting was getting quit.  “She has to choose to live on her own.  She has to find her own reasons.”  I covered the plate that had Beth’s untouched food and moved to put in the refrigerator.

“Want me to tie a noose for her?”  I asked sarcastically.

“If she’s serious, she’ll figure out a way.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t stop her or let her know that I care.”  I moved back to the sink, and put the fork and knife in the drawer.

“That has nothing to do with it, Lori.  She only has so many choices in front of her, and she believes the best one is suicide.”

“That’s not an option.”

“Of course it is.  She doesn’t need to be yelled at or treated like a child.”  The screaming had stopped.

“She needs a loaded gun, right?”  I asked.  “You’ll understand if I don’t send you in there.”

“I came through it.”

I put the rest of the dirty plates and bowls in a stack and moved them to the sink.  “And become such a productive member of the group.  Let Maggie handle this her way.”

“I contribute.  I help keep this place safe.”  Andrea defended.  I looked at her from wiping off the table.

“The men can handle this on their own; they don’t need your help.”  I informed her as I threw the dish rag on the other side of the sink.

“I’m sorry, what would you have me do?”  Andrea asked a little disgruntled from my comment.

I turned around and faced her.   “Oh, there’s plenty of work to go around.”

“Are you serious?  Everything falls apart; you’re in my face over skipping laundry?”

“Puts a burden on the rest of us, on me, Carol, Patricia and Maggie.  Cooking, cleaning and caring for Beth.  And you—” I shook my head and shrugged.  “You don’t care about anyone but yourself, you sit up on that R.V., working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap.”  I may have been out of line at the time, but in that moment all I saw was a woman creating more problems than solving.

“No, I am on watch against walkers.  That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade.”  She shot back at me as she leaned forward her hands on the table.

“And we are providing stability.  We are trying to create a life worth living.”

“Are you kidding me?”  Andrea asked indignant.

“Look, I went after Rick, I took down two walkers.  Don’t act like you’re—”

“After crashing Maggie’s car.”  Andrea interrupted.  I may have been acting high and mighty at the time, like I had it all figured out and together, truth was I didn’t.

“The only one who can take care of herself.”  I finished.

“Ever apologize for that?”  She asked.

“Crashing her—” I looked down and shook my head, I felt bad about that, and no I never did apologize.  “You’re insane.”  I was angry, with myself, with her, with the situation.  With Rick, ‘cause he was gone again while all this stuff was happening he was off somewhere else either getting attacked by walkers or humans, these days I didn’t know which.

“No, you are.”  Andrea accused, she continued.  “And you’re the one that’s self-centered, the way you take it all for granted.”

I looked at her and pointed out the window as I said.  “My husband is out there for the hundredth time.  My son was shot.”  I moved closer, getting in her face as I continued my voice rising.  “Don’t you dare tell me I take this for granted.”

“You don’t get it, do you?  Your husband came back from the dead, your son too.  And now you’ve got a baby on the way.  The rest of us have piled up our losses—me, Carol, Beth—” I didn’t want to hear anymore, I turned my back on her as she continued.  “But you just keep on keeping on.”

“We have all suffered.”  I said as I stopped next to the refrigerator.

“Playing house, acting like the queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself.  You know what?  Go ahead.  Go in there and tell that little girl that everything’s gonna be okay, just like it is for you.”  I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked in another direction as Andrea continued.  “She’ll get a husband, a son, baby, boyfriend.”  I looked at her then, she’d finally figured out what had gone down between me and Shane, for the longest time she had no idea. She finally got clued in.

“She just has to look on the bright side.”  Andrea finished.  She sighed as she turned and walked away.  I stayed there for a long time thinking.  About the past, the future, now, it was all screwed up, our lives; none of it was perfect, especially for me.

* * *

 

To Live

Beth's POV

 

It was maybe ten, fifteen minutes after Lori took the knife away from me that Maggie showed up.  Lori had told her what I had been about to do.  “Are you crazy?  What if dad finds out?”  She asked.

“What’s he gonna do?  Kill me for committing suicide?”  I asked, I should feel bad about that, being raised as a Christian it should pain me to think of killing myself but it didn’t.  I wanted to die, that day, that week I had nothing to live for and no reason to go on trying.

Maggie walked over and sat down on the bed across from me.  “Stop being such a brat.  He’d die.  So would I.”  I didn’t say anything so she continued.  “This isn’t just about you.  We all lost mom.”

“We’ll lose each other and I couldn’t stand that.”  I told her.

“So you give up?”  She asked.  I didn’t have anything to say to that, she could see the answer in my eyes.  It wasn’t long before Maggie and I started to fight, yelling at each other, she didn’t understand, I wanted to give up.

I don’t remember everything that was said, I do remember that she was screaming at me, and I just yelled at her.  “I want it to stop.”  She shouted at me about being selfish.  I shouted back.  “You don’t understand!”

“Of course I do!”  She screamed.

“I don’t care.  I won’t do anything.”  I screamed at her, wanting her to just leave me alone.

We shouted some more, I forget all that was said, but one thing does stand out in my mind, when Maggie accused me of being selfish.  “You are being so selfish!”  We shouted a few more minutes and then just ran out of steam, I had nothing left to say, and Maggie calmed down.

Maggie sat back on the bed, and looked at me.  “Mom would be ashamed to learn she raised such a coward.  What about dad Beth?”  Maggie asked.

“He’s clueless.  He had us waiting for a cure.”  I told her.

“He knows he was wrong.”

“When has dad ever admitted he was wrong?”  I asked.  “He’s just telling Rick’s group what they want to hear.”

“And Jimmy?”

“We went out for three months and now I’m married to him?”

“And me?  You could do that to me?  I can’t take another funeral.”

“You can’t avoid it.  What are we waiting for?”  I asked, I thought for a second, and then said.  “We should both do it.”

“What?”  Maggie asked shocked.

“At the same time, help each other.”

“No.”

“It’s hard to do it.  No one want’s to but—” Maggie interrupted as she grabbed my hand.

“No, please don’t.”

I continued.  “We can do it so it’s peaceful, easy.”

“Stop talking like that.”  She begged.

“Our choice, and then it would be over.  Or we’ll be forced to do it when the farm and this house is overrun.  No one can protect us.”

“That’s not true.”

“Who, Glenn?  They won’t even talk to you right now.”  Maggie looked shocked at that, I heard them this morning, I wasn’t def.  “I heard what happened.  Rick will save his family, the others too.  We’re alone.  You, me, Patricia, with only dad and Jimmy against the whole world of those things.”  We weren’t part of Rick’s group, we didn’t have that protection, we were alone and I was scared.

“I don’t wanna be gutted.  I wanna go.”  I told her through gritted teeth.  “In this bed tonight with you beside me.”  Maggie didn’t respond.  “ _Please._ ”

Maggie and I sat there for several more minutes when there was a knock on the door, and it opened a crack.  Maggie got up to talk to Andrea who stood partially in, partially out.  “Hey.”  Maggie greeted, they spoke softly but I still heard ‘em.

“You can’t sit on top of her.”  Andrea whispered.

“I can’t leave her by herself.”

“You’re gonna have to.”  Maggie shook her head, Andrea looked at me; I looked away then.

“You’re exhausted.  Go get some air, I’ll sit with her.  Go ahead.  Wash up, get something to eat.  I got it.”

“Okay.  Thanks.”  The door opened further and Maggie left, leaving Andrea in her place.  Andrea closed the door behind her, then moved and sat in the chair across from me with a sigh.

I looked at her as she just watched me, not speaking.  “Aren’t you gonna say something?”  She shook her head.  She moved with another sigh and got out of the chair and walked to the opposite door.

She opened it then looked at me.  “Is this what you want?”  She asked.  I didn’t answer her as I looked at the bedding.  “The pain doesn’t go away.  You just make room for it.”  She walked out then, leaving me to decide for myself.

I heard her open the front door and walk out, the door slammed behind her.  I was alone, so I stood up and walked into the bathroom, it wasn’t long after I had shut the door that I heard Maggie’s voice calling my name.  I couldn’t help it as tears ran down my cheeks I sobbed, she called my name again.  I wanted to die, or so I thought.

I broke the mirror over the sink with the tooth brush holder, and then I picked up a piece of the glass, Maggie started calling my name and pounding on the door. 

Lori walked in then.  “Maggie?”  She asked; I could hear them through the door as I sobbed when I made the first cut and stopped, I couldn’t do it.  And I felt so scared, I couldn’t let them in.

“She’s in there I heard glass.”  Maggie informed her.  She continued pulling on the knob as I sobbed.

“Beth, you all right?”  Lori asked.

“Don’t do this, Beth, don’t do this.  Open up, please.”  I heard movement, I knew they were looking for a way in, but all I could do was hold my bleeding wrist and cry.

“God, I left her with Andrea.”  I heard Maggie tell Lori.

“Where’s the key?”  Lori asked.

“I don’t know.”  Maggie told her.  She moved from searching and started to jiggle something in the lock of the door, I assumed a hair pin since it wasn’t the key, that I had with me.

“Beth honey, please open the door.”  Maggie begged.  “I’m not mad, I’m not mad, Beth.”  She promised, but I wasn’t sure I could believe that.  I had every reason to think her and my dad would be so mad at me, neither were, they were mostly concerned and worried.

“Maggie.”  Lori said, I don’t know what they were doing, a few seconds later I heard something being jammed against the door, later I was informed it was a poker from the fire place.  It took a few seconds, but soon the door was pried open.

I turned around then, holding my left wrist as it bled, tears running down my face.  “I’m sorry.”  I sobbed, Maggie moved to embrace me, and hold me close, and I leaned against her.

“Okay, it’s okay.”  She assured me as she put one arm around my shoulders, and her other hand on top of mine and we rushed out to find our dad, he was just getting finished examining Glenn when we came up, Glenn stayed with me calming me down as dad stitched me up.  Daryl who’d been with Glenn, left to inform the others what had happened.  I realized when I made that cut, I didn’t want to die.  I made a choice that day, and to this day I don’t regret it.  I regret a lot of things, but that one, to live, was no one of them.

* * *

 

They Pave the Way To Hell

Maggie's POV

 

I asked Andrea if she’d seen Daryl and Glenn after I left the house while Lori took Beth her lunch.  Andrea pointed me in the right direction, it didn’t take long to find them, I heard the laughter die down as Daryl looked up at me while I was still in the distance; Glenn stopped his chatter as he noticed and looked at me as well.  I saw him close a book and put it in his pack as I walked up.

“What do you want?”  Daryl asked gruffly.

“I want to talk, that’s all.”  I told him.

“Maggie now’s not a good time.”  Glenn said, Daryl agreed.

“It’s been a week, and for a week all I’ve heard is now is not a good time, when is a good time.  I want to talk to Daryl; I want to work this out.”

“Forget it, in my book never is a good time.”  Daryl told me.  “Glenn head back to camp; I’ll be right behind you.”

“Okay.  I love you.”  Glenn told him, Daryl just nodded as he watched Glenn walk off.

He turned to me.  “Talk.”  Daryl ordered.

“Fine, I’m sorry about kissing Glenn, I shouldn’t have kissed him the second time once he told me about you two; I was—”

“You were stupid, that’s what you were.  You thought you were better than me and you couldn’t understand why Glenn would choose me instead of you, forcing his hand to tell you about the baby, now you listen to me.  Glenn is mine, that baby is mine, and as far as you’re concerned.  Your ego, your pride, your shit is not my problem, as for your apology.  Shove it up your ass.”  Daryl turned and started to walk away.

“Daryl, damn it, won’t you just hear me out.”  I begged as I followed, I was angry I just wanted him to listen.

“No.”  He shouted at me.  I grabbed his arm to stop him, and felt a surge go through me as I wanted him to talk to me.  He screamed in pain, as he collapsed, I let him go.

“Daryl.”  I asked, scared and concerned.  Glenn came running back.

“What happened?”  He asked as he stopped and knelt next to Daryl.

“I don’t know, I wanted him to stop walking away, to talk to me, I touched him and felt a surge of power go through me.  I think I did this, I caused him pain.”  I told him in a rush.

“I’m fine.”  Daryl grunted as he started to get with Glenn’s help.  Andrea showed up then.

“Everyone alright?”  She asked as she walked up to us.

“We’re fine.”  Daryl looked at me; I wasn’t going to say anything, whatever that was, it wasn’t normal.  Turns out, I had a mutation to.

“Good, Maggie, you need to come back to the house.”  Andrea informed me.  I was afraid something happened with Beth; I followed her back to the house and found out my sister almost killed herself.  I went to the bedroom to talk to her.

Beth and I talked; I did most of the talking, and everything Beth said I didn’t agree with.  We had a shouting match for a while and she even suggested I kill myself with her.  Andrea came to the door and offered to watch her while I stepped out, after what happened with Daryl and Glenn and now this with Beth I needed a breather.

Unfortunately when I came back, the door was open, Andrea and Beth were gone.  “Beth?”  I called softly; I checked one side of the bed then moved to the other getting worried.  Suddenly I heard sobbing from the bathroom connected to the room.  “Beth?”  I called again as I walked to the closed door.  I heard the sound of braking glass and just knew she’d broken the mirror and was going to cut herself.  “Beth!”  I called as I tried the knob and found the door locked and started pounding on it.

Lori walked in then.  “Maggie?”  She asked; I was sure I looked as scared as I felt.

“She’s in there I heard glass.”  I informed her.  I continued pulling on the knob as she sobbed.

“Beth, you all right?”  Lori asked.

“Don’t do this, Beth, don’t do this.  Open up, please.”  I begged, and then moved from the door to find the key as Beth continued to sob.

“God, I left her with Andrea.”  I informed Lori, as I started looking through the glass containers on the dresser for the key.

“Where’s the key?”  Lori asked.

“I don’t know.”  I moved to the top drawer trying to find it.  I found a hair pin, I moved back to the door.

“Beth honey, please open the door.”  I begged.  “I’m not mad, I’m not mad, Beth.”  I promised, and I wasn’t mad, I was concerned, scared, worried, but I wasn’t mad.  Lori looked around the room and moved to the fire place grabbing a poker and rushing back.

“Maggie.”  Lori said, I moved back and she pushed the poker near the doorknob where the door meets the frame and started to pry it open.  “Hang on.”  Lori said as he moved to get a better grip on the poker.  In just a few seconds there was creaking and the door swung open.

Beth turned around, holding her left wrist as it bled, tears running down her face.  “I’m sorry.”  Beth sobbed, I moved to embrace her, and held her close.

“Okay, it’s okay.”  I assured her as I put one arm around her shoulders, and my other hand on top of hers and we rushed out to find my dad, he was just getting finished examining Glenn when we came up, Glenn stayed with Beth calming her as dad stitched her up.  Daryl who’d been with Glenn, left to inform the others what had happened.

With Beth being cared for I headed outside to find Andrea, Lori followed as we exited the house.  Daryl must’ve told her ‘cause she was running up as I was walking down the porch steps.  “Where were you?”  I asked.

“I heard, is she all right?”  Andrea asked.

“She would be if you had stayed with her, where were you?”  I asked again, I wasn’t happy; actually I was downright pissed with Andrea.

“How bad is she?”  Andrea asked, as she looked at Lori who answered her question.

“It wasn’t deep.”

She looked relieved.  “She wants to live, she made her decision.”

“She tried to kill herself.”  I yelled at her.

“No, she didn’t.”  Andrea assured me.

“My father is stitching her wrist right now.”

“She’ll live.”  She moved to go inside, I blocked her path.

“Stay away from her.  From both of us.  Don’t you dare step foot inside this house again.”  I never wanted Andrea near my sister.

She looked at me, then Lori, she turned around and walked away.  I walked back up to the porch when Lori spoke.  “I’m not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice.  She wants to live and now she knows it.  And sometimes you have to cross the line.”  I didn’t say anything more as I walked back into the house to check on my sister.

And suddenly I realized a little how Daryl felt, he didn’t want me anywhere near Glenn after what I did, and at the time I was blind, but Andrea had good intentions wanting Beth to realize that she wanted to live by giving her the choice to die.  I had good intentions as well, or so I had thought at time, believing Glenn had been better off with me, then Daryl.  Neither action was right, and neither action had truly good results, but Andrea and I, we were very much alike, we did what we did out of good intentions.  And you know what they say about good intentions.

* * *

 

He Was Right

Randall's POV

 

While those guys, Shane and Rick were so busy beating on each other, I started crawling to get to the knife.  I had my back to ‘em as I used my bound legs and arms to propel myself forward, I finally got close enough, I rolled onto my back and grabbed the knife with my hands, I bent my legs and started cutting the rope around my ankles when I heard a crash, I turned and saw the window to the building had been broken open.

I got back to cutting trying to free myself as I heard roamers falling out of the building.  Several chased after Shane, the guy that tried to shoot me, as they were passing me one stopped.  It use to be a girl, she looked at me and started coming straight for me.  I was frantically cutting the bindings around my ankles.

It was getting closer, growling and snarling as I whimpered in fear trying to get loose.  Finally I had to roll myself out of the way knocking the roamer down in the process.  The rope snapped when I did that freeing my ankles, I got to my feet.  It looked up at me snarling.  I took my foot and kicked its arm breaking it and sending it to the ground.

That bought me some time as I moved to one of the trucks there and started to lift my leg so I could get my hands in front of me.  It was still crawling weakly to get to me, I struggled as I got my legs behind my hands and a short minute later I had my hands in front of me, I took a grip on the handle of the knife.  I started to taunt the roamer.  “Come on, bitch, let’s see what you got.”

I shuffled from foot to foot, then moved around her as she was about to take a bite out of my leg, I raised the knife and with a grunt I thrusted the knife through the back of her skull not once, not twice but several times, blood splattered on me, the knife and the ground beneath her.  I left the knife in her skull as I started to walk away.

I moved through the cars when I saw a gun pointed at me, I jumped and tried to run but Rick caught me and forced me to the ground, I knew then, I wasn’t getting out of this alive, they were going to kill me.  I just didn’t really know how to get out of it, my fate was sealed last week when I shot at them for defending themselves, when I fell off that roof and got stabbed in the leg with a fence.  I didn’t want to die then, I didn’t want to die now.  My father always said I’d end up in the gutter somewhere if I kept trusting the wrong people, he was right, I was never a good judge of character.

* * *

 

Was Mine!

Shane's POV

 

I was so angry, Rick wouldn’t kill the bastard, so I would, but he stopped me.  We got into a fight and in that moment I wanted him dead.  I threw that wrench wanting to kill him, but I missed and let a building full of walkers lose.  One fell out and attacked Rick, he killed it easily, then others fell out, he pulled the walker he’d just killed on top of himself hiding, but I was out in the open.  I turned and ran.  I was chased by several, I was hurting, and running on empty as I went around cars trying to find an escape.

I saw the bus with its side door open and made a mad dash for it, getting in and closing it behind me, there was no lock or latch, so I used what strength I had left to shut it on the walkers trying to get at me. The fight with Rick had drained me and the pain killers I took that morning had worn off, so my muscles were aching something fierce, and I was bleeding from the wounds Rick had inflicted, not that I didn’t give as good as I got.

I looked down and saw a few fingers from a walker I had closed the door on.  I screamed and grunted and panted I was trapped, there was no way out, not unless I wanted to risk getting bit.  I pulled out my pocket knife as they were pounding on the door.  I put the blade to the palm of my hand as I said.  “Okay.”  I sliced myself, and then rubbed the blood near the opening of the door.

I let up some and they opened the door a fraction, one geeks head came in licking up the blood I had left.  “You want some of that?”  I screamed.  Then taking the knife I jammed it into the top of its skull.

As the walker thumped to the ground I laughed.  “Oh shit.”  I realized Rick’s way worked.  As I stood there with my back to the door keeping it shut with the walkers pushing on it, I looked out the front window and saw Rick with the kid heading around to where we’d left the car.  I put my hand on the window, wishing he’d stay, come back, and help me out.  I didn’t expect him to; after all I did just try to kill him.  If it had been me, I wouldn’t have come back, unfortunately for both of us, Rick wasn’t me.

“Rick.  No, man.”  I muttered.  “Come back, man.”  He looked at me as they disappeared around the building.  I looked at the empty seats, covered in clothes, trash, even a baby seat I had sen earlier when I’d first checked it out for walkers.  I was trapped, and there was no one to save me, or so I had thought.

I was losing my grip on the door, I was too tired and in too much pain.  I hit my palm to get more blood against the door jamb to take out another walker.  “Yeah, you like that?”  I screamed at it.  Then jammed my knife into her forehead, as she fell my knife got stuck and I didn’t take the time to pull it out as I closed the door again before I got bit.

Now I was really screwed as I had no knife, my strength was almost depleted and I had nowhere to run.  I turned around facing the door as I pushed against it shutting it once more.  But I wasn’t sure for how long.

I turned my back on it using my feet and legs to help push up against it, when I heard my name, I looked out the front window and saw the VW bug driving through the fence gate, straight to me, the kid behind the wheel and Rick sticking his head out yelling my name.  It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Rick started screaming for me to go to the back door as he shot round after round at the walkers.  I didn’t hesitate as I moved from my position at the front door, which poured in with walkers the moment I did and ran for the back, I threw it open and jumped into the back window that had been rolled down, as the kid took off getting us as away from them and there.

Though in retro speck that had been a really bad idea, he should’ve let me die, after all, I was going to kill him.  Lori was mine, Carl was mine, and that unborn child…. _WAS MINE!_


	11. Missing Scenes for Judge, Jury, Executioner

Anything

Randall's POV

 

After that dude was done beating on me, he left.  I told him all I knew, I should’ve left those guys but I was so scared to be on my own, and that fear got me into this situation.  I started pulling on the chains trying to get loose.  My leg hurt, my head hurt after tough guy got done with me.  I didn’t know his name, didn’t know the Korean’s name either.

I defiantly didn’t know they were dating when I was shooting at the Korean guy, and their leader Rick.  I heard footsteps and someone stop next to the door to the shed I was chained in.  “Hello?”  I called.  “Hey.”  I tried again when she didn’t answer.  “Can I get some water?”  I asked.

She just leaned against a barrel.  “Please?  I’m very thirsty.”  I heard a gun as she moved it in her hands.  I moved closer to one of the cracks in the shed that I could see out of, I saw her profile; she was blond, very pretty.

 “They’re gonna kill me, right?”  I asked her, she looked in my direction through the crack in the wall.

“So he’s a kid?”  I heard that boy ask.  I turned as footsteps were getting closer; I moved my chair with my foot then stepped up onto it so I could see what was happening out there.  I twisted around looking through one of the cracks above me, and saw the mean fellow Shane the bold headed dude that wanted to shoot me yesterday.

“How old is he?”  The boy next to him asked as they were walking up, he had a sheriff’s hat on.

“He ain’t a kid.  Just—that’s a figure of speech.” Shane informed him.

“Can I see him?”  The kid asked.

“No.”  Shane told him.  “Look man, this is—this is grown-up stuff all right?”  They stopped and he faced the boy.  “You just—you just let us handle this.”  He patted his arm, then turned and walked away from him.

I moved off the chair as he started walking past the shed, but he stopped as I heard him speaking to the woman.  “Dale, huh?”  He asked.  “What, he put you on death watch?  Let me ask you something—say I wanted to go in there right now and I just wanted to take care of this you gonna stop me?  Hmm?”

That scared me.  Would she let him kill me, I watched them through the cracks in the wall as they talked.  “I had a good teacher.”  She told him.

“Yeah.”  He agreed then squatted on the ground as he said.  “So what, you buy into Dale’s sob story?”

“I told him I was with you on this.”  She informed him.  I just knew that boldie and blondie were talking about killing me.  He wanted me dead, I didn’t want to die, I would say or do anything to keep that from happening.

“Mmm.  You’re just still here for him, huh?”  He asked as he looked at her.  “That’s cute.  You see what’s happening, don’t you?  These guys ain’t gonna go through with this.  I’m tell you they gonna—they gonna pussy out and if they do, we gonna have a big problem on our hands.” She didn’t say anything, so he continued.  “Let me ask you something—every time we have a problem around here, who do you think’s behind it?”  He asked.

“Some might say you.”  She answered.

He chuckled.  “Nah.  No one listens to me.  I say it’s the guys that make up the rules, the boys that always have all the answers, even though their answers always prove wrong.”

“So what are you gonna do?  Rick’s the leader of this group, its Hershel’s farm.”  Blondie informed him.

“Maybe we oughta change that.”  Shane suggested.

“What, are you gonna lock ‘em in a room and take their guns?”  She asked incredulous, I saw them look at each other for a moment before she said.  “I don’t know.  That could get out of hand.

He stood back up.  “No, no it won’t okay?  I won’t let it.  Listen, I don’t—I don’t want anybody to get hurt, okay?  Rick’s my friend.  Hershel—he’s all right by me.”

“And Dale?”  She asked.

“Dale got a big mouth, but he’s harmless.  Look, I just—I wanna know what it’s like to sleep without keeping one eye open.  Ain’t that—ain’t that what we all want?”  So killing me would allow him to sleep better at night, I didn’t understand that, I wasn’t a threat to him.  If they let me be a part of their group, then I’d be loyal, I would.  I’d never betray them or give them up, I’d swear it if they let me.

I heard wood creaking and turned as I heard Shane continue to talk to the blond woman.  “Hey, ball’s in their court.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe I’m getting all worked up over nothing.”  I looked up into the rafters and saw the kid, the one with the sheriff’s hat on.  He was sitting there; guess he found a back way in.   He might be my only chance of getting out of this place alive.

“Hey.”  I whispered not wanting to alert the two outside.  I licked my dry lips, and then said.  “That’s a sweet hat.  I’m Randall.  What’s your name?”  He didn’t answer so I continued.  “The sheriff guy—that your dad?  I like him.  Yeah, he’s a good guy I can tell.”

I swallowed.  “Your mom out here too?  You’re—you’re lucky you still got your family.  I lost mine.”  I told him, he tilted his head just a bit as he watched me.  “Hey, I—I don’t know what people been saying about me, but I didn’t do nothing, I swear.”  He stood up and moved to the built in ladder.

“Your dad was gonna let me go till his friend started fighting with him.”  He started to climb down, I continued.  “It got pretty bad, I—I was kinda worried.  My camp, we got lots of supplies.  You help me, I’ll take you and your folks back to my people.  We’ll take good care of you.  Keep you safe.”  I promised as he was getting closer.

“Just gotta—just gotta help me get out of here, okay?”  The talking outside had stopped; I didn’t take notice as I continued speaking to this boy as he walked closer to me.  “Just help me pick these locks or find the key, okay?  Come on, please?”  I was desperate to get free.  “Please?”  I pulled on the chains and that’s when the door opened and Shane walked in.

“What the hell are you doing in here?”  He put his hand on the boy pushing him back as he looked at me angry.  “What did you say to him?  What did you say to him, huh?”  He asked as he pushed me against the wall and the blond walked in.

“I didn’t say nothing.”  I told him.

“Hey, hey.”  The woman said.

“Let me tell you something—I will shoot you where you sit.”  He held the gun at my head; I closed my mouth as he pushed the barrel of it at my lips.

“Okay Shane, not now.”  The woman told him.

“Open your mouth, open your mouth.”  He ordered I wouldn’t do it; she kept calling his name trying to get his attention.  “You like talking, man?  You like talking?!”  He yelled at me.

“Back off!”  The blond woman yelled at him.  He holstered his gun as he moved away, my lips now bruised more from how hard he was pushing the gun at them, I’m lucky he didn’t break any of my teeth.

She held a gun on me, as Shane grabbed the boy’s arm and said.  “Get your ass out this door, let’s go.”  They walked out.  She followed him out.  I could hear them.

“The hell you doing?”  He asked.

“Please don’t tell my parents.”  The boy begged as Shane let him go.

She closed the door as I heard Shane speak to the boy.  “Carl, that ain’t cool, man.  You could’ve gotten hurt in there.”

“I can handle myself.”  Carl told Shane.

“Let me tell you something—you do not go near him again, do you hear me?  Damn it.”  I saw Shane walking away through the crack in the door again.

“You won’t tell my parents, will you?”  Carl asked.  Shane walked back.

“Carl man, this—” He lowered his voice so I strained to hear him and could just barely make it out.  “This isn’t about getting in trouble, okay?  A guy like that, he will say anything to you.  He’ll try to make you feel sorry for him.  He’ll try to make you let your guard down.    You let your guard down out here, people die.  Now just—do me a favor man—go find your ma.  Go on.”

His voice went back to normal as he called to the kid.  “Carl, quit trying to get yourself killed, man.”  After the boy ran off, Shane left, just leaving the woman to guard me until she left, when the sun was close to setting.  It wasn’t long after that, that Rick and his two friends came and got me, I was lucky that night, my life was spared.  But as things were falling apart with their group, my life wasn’t safe, and it wasn’t important.   Not to a man like Shane, he was crazy, but he was right, I’d say or do anything… _Anything_ to keep from getting killed.  Unfortunately, anything comes with a price, and mine, was my life.

* * *

 

Good Old Days

Lori's POV

 

It was after noon that I started looking for Rick, I saw Carl along the dirt road from the house to the barn.  “Baby, where’s your daddy?”  I asked as I was walking up to him.

“He’s up there.”  He pointed toward the hay loft.

“All right.”  I was loading my small revolver; I closed it up and placed it in the back of my pants as I thumped the back of Carl’s hat and smiled at him, then I climbed the ladder to the loft in the barn.  Rick was standing there looking at one of the beams with a strong coil of rope in his hands.  He looked over at me as he heard my weight shifting the boards beneath my feet.

He started walking over as I spoke.  “So…uh.  The nights are getting colder and we’re pretty exposed.  I was thinking—”

“Maybe we could clear this place out, station lookouts up here.”  Rick interrupted.  I put my hand on my hip, that wasn’t exactly what I had been going to suggest.  Both me and Glenn needed a warm place to hold up during the coming winter, and the barn, wasn’t much better then out there.

“Uh…”

“Or we could talk to Hershel about staying in the house.”  He stopped in front of me.

“Yeah.”  I said.

“All right.”  He agreed.  He moved and knelt down setting the thick rope to find one end of it.

“Is that really the best way to do this?  To…string him up?”  I asked.

“I have no idea.”  He said as he glanced at me. “It’s my first time.”  He stopped what he was doing and turned his attention to me.  “Look, I know how you feel about the death penalty but—”

I interrupted this time.  “And I know the world has changed.  After everything that’s happened, you and Shane agree on this.”  I crossed my arms as I leaned against the barn roof.

“So you support this decision?”  Rick asked.

“If you think it’s best.”  He went back to his rope tying one end into a noose.  “You never did tell me what happened on the road with you and Shane.”  He tightened the knot so it wouldn’t come out.

“He won’t be a problem anymore.”  He assured me, then stood back up as he looked around, then changed his mind about hanging him and threw the rope in a corner before we headed down the ladder and out the front of the barn, we were walking side by side around to the side of the barn where we saw Carl.

Rick spoke to me softly, about nothing important when Carol said.  “You need to control hat boy.”  As she walked up to us.

“Carl?  What happened?”  Rick asked as she got closer and stopped.

“He’s disrespectful.”  She informed us.

“Did he say something?”  Rick asked as we stopped in front of her.

“Something cruel about Sophia.”

“We’ll figure it out, its okay, I—“I started to say, Carol interrupted.

“It’s not okay.”

“I’ll have—I’ll have a talk with him.”  Rick said ending any argument that might get started between me and Carol.

As Rick started to walk over to where we saw Carl off along a grove of trees I said.  “See?  We’ll—we’ll—we’ll deal with it.  If you can calm down so that I can—” I may have been out of line with that.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!”  She shouted at me.

“No, I—I don’t—”

“I don’t need you to patronize me, everyone either avoids me or they treat me like I’m crazy.  I lost my daughter, I didn’t lose my mind!”  She stormed off then.  Carol was right, we all treated her with kid gloves instead of like the adult she was.  And its moments like that, times where there are issues and situations, and fights, between our group that I wished for the good old days.  Before the dead came to eat the living.

* * *

 

Father Figure

Glenn's POV

 

Daryl had gone up to his little spot to work on his bow and arrows, get some peace and quiet, I’ve been teaching him to read up there.  Said it helps not having all those people around.  He got better control of blocking out the noise as his mutation developed, but at that time, it was hard to deal with all the noise he couldn’t block out.

I had gone into the house not long before Daryl left to go hunting, I’d been helping in the kitchen, doing chores, trying not to think about the Randall situation.  Hershel had come back a few minutes ago; I walked to the bedroom where Beth was resting.  Her wrist got stitched after yesterday’s attempt and she was now sedated to help with the pain, and her depression, she was getting better.

Hershel was singing a song; she was watching him as he tapped his finger on her hand that he held as he sat next to her.  I heard some of the words.  “Doodlebug, doodlebug, go away home.”

She sang a word.  “Doodlebug.”

He finished for her.  “Doodlebug, doodlebug, go away home.”   They chuckled as I leaned against the door jamb just watching ‘em.  Hershel looked at me.

“How is she?”  I asked.

“She seems to be in good spirits today.”  He patted her hand as he stood up.  “Aren’t you, doodlebug?”  Hershel asked as he bent over and kissed her forehead, then started to walk out, I moved as I spoke.

“Well, let me know if I can do anything.”

I started to leave when I heard Hershel ask.  “Where’s your family from?”

I turned around as I scratched my left arm.  “Michigan.  But um, before that, Korea.”  I lived in Michigan as a kid, and then we moved to Georgia.  I didn’t know if my family was alive or dead.

Hershel nodded as he said.  “Immigrants built this country.  Never forget that.”  He moved a few feet closer as he continued.  “Our family came from Ireland.”  I chuckled.

“Maggie Greene—I kinda figured.”

“How did your father feel about your orientation?”  Hershel asked out of the blue.

“He disowned me.”  I told him honestly, I was wondering what Hershel was getting at.

Hershel pulled out a pocket watch and looked at it before he started to speak again.  “My grandfather brought this over from the old country.  He passed it onto my father, who passed it on to me.  I pawned it to pay for a night of drinking I no longer remember.”  We both chuckled at that.

“You bought it back.”  I said, seeing as it was in his hand as he closed the distance so I could get a better look at it.

“My late wife did—Josephine, Maggie’s mother.”  He looked at me, then back at the watch.  “She gave it back years later when I sobered up.  She was a good woman, my Jo.  Maggie’s a lot like her.  When we were in that bar and afterwards, I thought about a lot of things.  When you become a father you’ll understand, the pride and disappointment children can bring to your life.  My daughter nearly destroyed your relationship, but you’ve forgiven her, treat her like a friend, a sister.  You’re protective of those you care about, and even those who don’t deserve it.”  He paused.

“My step-son Shawn made his mistakes, he made me proud though, and at one time I planned to give him this watch.  But Glenn, not even he would’ve done what you did, he was caught with a girl in town, kissing, she was engaged.  You love Daryl, more than my daughter, you made a choice and you told the truth.”  He held out his watch to me.  “I would’ve been honored to call you a son-in-law; I’m just hoping that thinking of you as a son will be more than enough for both of us.”  To say I was touched by this would be an understatement.

I hesitated to take the watch though, did I have a right, I wasn’t this man’s son, and I would never be with his daughter.  “Go on now, before I change my mind.”  He teased.  I put my hand around the watch and he let the chain fall.  No one had ever given me such an important gift before.

“Thanks.”  I said as I looked from the watch to Hershel.  The rest got back not long after that to start the meeting, the thing I remember most about Hershel, was the fact he was a better father then mine ever was, especially to a guy, who was never his son.  From that day on, Hershel became a father figure to me, treated me like a son, that was more then I could’ve ever hoped for when I told him the truth last week, about what had really been going on between me, Maggie and Daryl.  I just hopped I could live up to the importance of the watch he gave me.

* * *

 

Right Thing to Do

Dale's POV

 

After I spoke with Daryl I walked to where I saw Hershel, Jimmy and Patricia near the lake rounding up a few cows.  I walked up to Hershel and asked.  “What happened?”

“A dozen steer busted through the fence.  Been wrangling the runaways all morning.  But you’re not here to talk cattle.”  Hershel observed, as he looked up at me from the pieces of broken rope in his hands.

“The boy.”  I informed him.

“The prisoner.”

“Randall.”  I corrected.

“I don’t want to know.”  He told me, I was shocked.  “I’m told they’re deciding his fate.  I’ll leave it with Rick.”

“But this is your home.”

“I want him away from my girls.  I don’t care how.”  He informed me.

“It’s an execution.”  I said.

“I don’t want to know.”

“But you can’t stand by the sidelines.  You’re a man with convictions.  You—”

Hershel stopped me as he said.  “To tell you the truth, I was.  Or at least I thought I was.  But I’ve made too many mistakes.”

“Would you at least talk with Randall before making up your mind?”  I asked.

He shook his head.  “No, I’ll leave it with Rick.”  He turned and walked over to Jimmy and Patricia to get what cows they had back to the right pasture.

There was nothing more to say or do here, so I started heading back to the farm house.  I saw Shane at one of the cars putting ammo and other items in the trunk.  I started around the fence to talk to him, where we were keeping all the vehicles.

Shane closed the trunk and turned around leaning his back against the green VW bugs trunk as he asked.  “What’s up, Dale?”

I stopped a few feet from him as I sighed.  “I wanna change your mind.”  I told him, I knew it was probably a waste of time with Shane, but I had to at least try.

Shane snorted as he laughed at that.  “What, you serious?”  He asked.

“I know you and I will never see eye to eye on much…”

“That’s the understatement of the year, huh?”

I continued ignoring the interruption.  “…But.  You’re not going anywhere…”

“Nope.”

“…And I’m not going anywhere.”  I informed him as I took a couple of steps closer.

“Okay.”

“So let’s talk about this like men.”

He pursed his lips, and then spoke.  “Okay.  You deny we’re in danger, Dale?”

“No, but there’s a dozen of us, one of him.”

“There’s thirty of them.”  He reminded me.

“Killing him doesn’t change that…”

“No.”  He shook his head in agreement.

I raised my finger as I said.  “…But it changes us.”

He chuckled.  “You—” He paused as he licked his lips then continued.  “You got balls, Dale.  I’m gonna give you that.  Now…I’ll tell you what—in a little bit when y’all gather, you’re gonna talk about this.”  He moved his hands hooking his thumbs in his belt as he continued.  “If you’ve convinced them to keep this guy alive, I ain’t gonna say a damn word about it, okay?”  Shane asked.

I nodded, Shane spoke up again as he leaned forward a little.  “But I’m telling you now, man to man, you’re wrong.  And when this guy kills somebody I ain’t gonna need to say anything, because that blood—that’s gonna be on you.  You’re wrong about this Dale, you’re damn wrong.”  He pushed off the car, careful not to dent or damage it in any way, and then walked off.

In the meeting I realized I wanted nothing more to do with this group if they killed Randall, I had walked out and just kept walking, I ended up behind the barn, past the burned walkers on the ground, and walked right into a dying cow, as I heard it’s moaning cries.  Only the thing that killed it was still alive, and it attacked, and tore up my gut before Daryl killed it.  I died that night, never knowing they hadn’t gone through with it.  I kept them human, and without me, they were nothing but lost people without a moral compass, having to find their own way.  I was grateful for the compassion Daryl showed me when he shot me in the head, I was right, Daryl was a decent man.

But I wasn’t wrong, letting him live, was the right thing to do, the one who was wrong about everything, was Shane.  If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d do everything exactly the same, because it was the right thing to do.

* * *

 

Mistakes

Carl's POV

 

After Shane caught me in the shed with Randall he told me not to get myself killed.  I was just curious, about him; I knew they were going to kill him.  I saw my dad go to the hay loft in the barn; I tapped one of the shells on the ground from when they had killed all those walkers.  Mom walked up asking about dad, I pointed to the loft, she smiled at me.

Once mom disappeared into the loft, I bent down and picked up that empty shell.  Then I walked to Sophia’s grave and sat down on my knees just looking at the shell in my hand, when Carol walked up to me.

“You know, we’ll see Sophia again in heaven someday.”  I chose to ignore her, I didn’t believe in heaven.  “She’s in a better place.”  I looked at her then that made me mad.

“No she’s not.”  I stood up.  “Heaven is just another lie.  And if you believe it, you’re an _idiot._ ”  I told her as I walked away.

I was walking past several trees, when a couple of minutes after that, I heard my dad, he didn’t sound happy.  “Carl, come over here.”  I looked at him and walked over.

“Did you talk back to Carol?”  Dad asked.

“No.”  I lied.

“She says you did.  You can’t talk back to people like that.”

“I said it’s stupid to believe in heaven.  ‘Cause it is.”

He sighed.  “Well, just think about that for a minute.  She just lost her daughter.  She wants to believe she’s still alive in some way.”  Dad explained.

“But she—” I pointed toward where I had left Carol, dad interrupted.

“Don’t—don’t talk, think.”  That’s some of the most important advice I’d ever been given, and sadly I never lived up to my dad’s expectations.  “It’s a good rule of thumb for life.”

“Mom always wants you to talk more.”  I told him.

“Don’t change the subject.  You owe Carol an apology.  You made a mistake, fix it.”  Dad turned to walk away.

“Is that why you’re gonna kill that guy?”  I asked he turned back to me.  “Fixing your mistake?”

“That’s different.”  He told me.

“How are you gonna do it?  Are you gonna hang him in the barn?”  He never answered my questions.

“You just think about how you’re gonna make things right with Carol.  Don’t talk.  Think.  You got it?”  He asked.

“Yeah.”  I told him, though truth was back then I hadn’t understood what he’d meant.  Now after making my own mistakes, too many to count, now I completely understand where dad had been coming from.  I never lived by his advice though, and that was my biggest mistake.

Dad tapped my shoulder his thumb against my neck, I felt that odd tingling that I felt when Shane did the same thing.  I ignored it as dad walked off and I continued my stroll, as I walked around a dead log on the ground I saw Daryl’s bike.  He had a string hooked up to the trees his back was sitting between.

He had his walker ears, and a few squeals hanging there.  I walked to his bike and put my hands on the handle bars pretending like I was driving it, Daryl’s bike was so cool.  I let the bars go and moved toward the back of the bike where a pair of side saddle bags hung, for storing things.  I lifted up the flap on the left side and put my hand in, there was nothing in that one, and so I moved to the right.  I lifted up the flap of the second bag and reached in, this time I pulled out Daryl’s gun, a browning BDA, it was black and sleek.  I liked it, though it was a little big for me so I had to hold it with both hands.

I smiled as I looked for anyone, no one was around, so I dropped the flap and started into the woods; I should’ve asked permission to use his gun.  I shouldn’t have been in the woods at all, and what happed there that day, changed me.  You see it was my fault Dale died, and as you continue to read, you’ll see why.

I put the gun in my pants pocket on my right side, I had double checked to make sure the safety was on like Shane taught me, before I did so, and then I headed deeper into the woods.   I was determined to find a walker and take it out, proving to my mom, and Shane that I could look after myself.

I heard growling and followed it to a walker that had its feet stuck in the mud.  It had no shirt on, just some pants, and an ugly goatee hanging from its face.  I walked closer staying on the other side of the river bed it was next to.  It, he, it was once a he, looked over in my direction and snarled as it opened its mouth, making biting motions and clicking it’s teeth together.  My first instinct was to run, I fell to my knees and moved back, but as I looked at it, and it didn’t give chase, I realized that he really was stuck in the mud.

I had never been this close to a walker before, and it was about to be my first kill.  I should’ve been scared of it, I should’ve run away then, but once I knew it couldn’t hurt me, I wasn’t.  It was stuck in the mud and couldn’t get at me, so like the idiot kid I was.  I decided to play with it, before I killed it.

I slipped down some of the incline to get a closer look, it was trying to reach for me, but its feet were firmly planted in the ground.  I knelt down behind a log, and just watched it.  I was curious about it.  I looked down and picked up a rock, I threw it at the walker lightly hitting its arm.  It snarled more at that, so, I decided to do it again, and this is where it got weird.

I picked up a second rock, and held it in my hand tightly and before I could throw it, it broke in half.  I looked at it, and realized I had broken the rock, which was odd, I didn’t have super strength.  Dad and Shane did.  Then I remembered the tingling feeling I got from Shane, and the pain I felt afterwards.  The tingling from dad when he touched my neck, and now I can crush rocks.

I picked a third one and threw it at the walker as hard as I could, it hit him in the leg, just grazed him as it took a piece of his pants and skin.  He growled loud at me when I did that.  I had my dad’s super strength; I started to wonder how long it lasted.  The pain from Shane only lasted a few hours then was gone.  I was going to have to put this to the test, but until then, I had a walker to kill.

It continued to growl and bite at me as I jumped over some logs to get around it, on the opposite side of the small river or stream that was running through that portion of the woods.  It tried to follow me but its feet were held firm in the mud, keeping him from turning fully around.

I was just out of reach of its hands, as it tried to grab at me.  I pulled out the gun, my hands shaking a little as I aimed the barrel at its head.  It twisted around the other direction still trying to get at me.  I didn’t realize that all its moving around and trying to force its legs to work was loosening the mud.

As I stood there trying to get up the courage to pull the trigger, I completely forgot to turn off the safety.  I looked at the gun as I was about to turn it off when its leg came free and grabbed the gun, I screamed as we both fell to the ground.

I started to back away whimpering and screaming as it grabbed at my foot.  I lost Daryl’s gun in the leaves all around me, and panicked as it grabbed my ankle, I used my strength to rip my leg away from it.  Then scrambled on my hands and knees to get to my feet, forgetting the gun as I ran home, leaving the walker alive, and still trying to get its other foot free.

When I arrived back to the farm house it was time for them to start the meeting, as the sun was about to set.  My pants and shirt were muddy, but mom never said anything about it as she told me to go upstairs with Jimmy while they had their meeting.  I didn’t hear anything from them downstairs, but as mom called and we started to head to camp, I saw dad, Shane and Daryl take that Randall guy into the barn.  I followed.

I walked in and told dad to do it, he had his hand on the gun and pointing it at Randall’s head; Shane gripped me a little too hard, and when I fought being pulled out of the barn I didn’t make a dent telling me my super strength was gone.  Dad wouldn’t do it; he lowered the gun and had Daryl take Randall back to the shed.  Shane had stormed off, leaving me and dad to walk back to camp, so he could inform the others that Randall was still alive.

As we walked up Maggie and Glenn stood from the chairs they were sitting on.  Mom walked over, she put her hand on my shoulder.  Carol looked at us from where she stood next to one of the tents.  Andrea was sitting in front of the fire also waiting to hear what dad had to say, and T-Dog was leaning against a tree with one of the lanterns hanging from it, it was currently out.

“We’re keeping him in custody for now.”  Dad told ‘em.  Maggie turned and headed back to the house, Glenn followed.

Andrea stood up as she said.  “I’m gonna find Dale.”  She walked off with a smile.

“Carl, go inside.”  Mom told me.  “Now, please.”  She said more forcefully when I didn’t move.  I knew things weren’t right between mom and dad, ever since he came back, I thought things would get better if dad hadn’t been dead.  But it seemed things got worse, and mom she was constantly telling me to stay in the house or the tent, passing me off for someone else to look after, sometimes I had wished Glenn and Daryl were my parents.  Glenn was ten times the mom, Lori ever was.  But even so, I still loved her, and it broke my heart when I lost her.

I turned walked into the tent; I still watched and listened from the doorway.  “He followed us.”  Dad informed her softly.  She started to look away; he wouldn’t let her as he moved to be in her line of sight as he said.  “He wanted to watch.  I couldn’t.”

“That’s okay.”  Mom assured him, she looked dad right in the eyes and said again as she caressed his cheek.  “That’s okay.”  She hugged him; he hugged back, one of the few times in the coming weeks and months that I saw any kind of affection between them.

Not long after that Dale was attacked, and killed by the same walker I had been unable to shoot.  And because I wanted to watch, dad let Randall live.  If I had stayed out of it, maybe he would’ve done it and then Shane wouldn’t have tried to kill him.  So you see.  If I had, had the nerve to shoot that walker, or was smart enough to stay at camp, then Dale wouldn’t have died that night.  I don’t know about Shane, he made his own mistakes too, but I’ll tell you one thing, I never made _that_ mistake ever again, from then on, I never hesitated to shoot.


	12. Missing Scenes for Better Angels

This Group  _was_ My Family

Daryl's POV

 

After Rick’s speech at Dale’s grave that morning, it had been decided that we were going to do things the right way, letting Randall live and dropping him off as originally planed.  Shane, T-Dog, Andrea and I got barbed wire, the tool box, a shovel and a pitch fork, then piled into the truck.  There was a hole in the fence line that needed to be repaired so what happened last night, wouldn’t happen again.

Shane was driving, I was in the bed of the truck with T-Dog, my crossbow in my hands, Andrea was sitting on the passenger side.  Last night I slept with Glenn again, after shooting Dale, I had to, for him, for myself.  I needed to let what had gone down between Glenn and Maggie go, I cared about Glenn, our unborn child.  I wanted to be with him, I just hadn’t gotten the strength to inform him that I had forgiven him.  I wasn’t ready to forgive Maggie, she had a lot of work to do before that would ever happen.

I looked at T-Dog, he held his pistol in his gloved hands, fall was getting closer, soon it’d be too cold outside to stay at camp.  When we left Rick and Hershel were getting everyone to help pack up so we could move inside the farm house.

Shane parked at the fence line, we got out, T-Dog caring the box of tools, Andrea with gloves on held the barbed wire in one hand, the cutters in the other.  Shane was testing the fence as I brought up the rear with my crossbow, listening, looking for anything that might pose a threat.

Didn’t take long to find the holes in the fence and repair ‘em.  We got back to the truck and piled in, I had heard several walkers in the field not far from the farm, we couldn’t let them live.  Shane drove us close, there were four shambling around, three more eating on an animal they’d taken down.

Shane slowed to a stop parking the truck, I got out with T-Dog and the rest.  I aimed as T-Dog passed the pitchfork to Andrea, he had a hammer for himself, Shane carried the shovel.  The walkers standing around turned in our direction as they realized food was nearby.

A shot a walker bitch in the head, she went down.  T-Dog got one on the top of his skull with the claws of the hammer.  Andrea used the pitchfork to get the other woman, right through the bottom of her chin and came out the top of her forehead.  She pulled it out, the walker dropped.  Shane used the back of the shovel and hit the last one standing sending it to the ground.  That’s when the three feeding took notice of us.

I shot the first guy standing after I’d reloaded, he fell.  Andrea went after the next one, holding the pitchfork in both hands and hit the guy in the fact with the handle sending him falling to the ground.  Once he was down, she used the prongs to spear the guy’s head killing him.

Shane kicked the last one in the leg breaking it as it fell down, Shane kicked it over onto it’s back then stomped on its stomach several times, its muscles tore sending guts and blood all over the grass.  Then he stopped and backed off as Andrea, T-Dog and I all wailed on it, kicking and stomping not caring how much damage was being done, we were just so angry at what happened to Dale last night and it was a good way to vent those emotions.

Eventually we stopped and backed away, Shane ended the walkers life cutting the top of its skull open with the shovel.  After that we piled the walkers, soaked them in gas and burnt them before we got back in the truck and went home.

Once we got there they started loading up the truck as Rick and Hershel discussed us moving into the farm house, along with dropping Randall off a safe distance from us, only difference, he’ll be taking me instead of Shane.

As soon as the truck was loaded Andrea put the tailgate up and Shane drove to the house, Glenn and Lori were riding with him, I was on my bike behind Rick, Andrea and Hershel as they talked.  Maggie, Beth, Jimmy and T-Dog were over on the other side of the truck as they were caring bags to our new home.

“I see why you’re not taking Shane with you.”  Hershel told Rick, speaking of when we drop off Randall.  “Just know I’ve got no more patience where he’s concerned.”  Hershel informed him.

“He’s turning over a new leaf.”  Rick assured Hershel of Shane’s change, frankly I thought Rick was blind, I saw the attitude, the looks Shane gave.  I should’ve listened to my gut, Shane was not to be trusted, ever.  Hershel didn’t believe him either as I saw him give Rick a look.

Rick shrugged.  “Andrea.”  He called, Andrea stopped and looked at them as they caught up to her, I moved passed them a little but could still hear there discussion.  “When I’m out with Daryl, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here.”  Rick said, once they were close enough to her, she started walking again.

“Me?”  She asked confused by Rick’s request.

“Shane’s got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he’s all torqued up.”  Rick informed her.

“I think we’re all a bit torqued up at this point.”  Andrea commented.  I parked the bike near the truck and got off as the others started to get out and unload, I looked back at them as I continued to listen in.

“If you’re staying here permanently, he’s got to understand that it’s what Rick and I say not whatever he wants.”

“You’ve become close.”  Rick observed, Andrea stopped and looked at them.

“We talk.”  She agreed.

“Then you know he’s not a bad guy.  He’s just his own worst enemy.”  Rick told her.

“You want me to babysit Shane?”  Andrea asked.

I glanced at Glenn as he walked passed me with my things.  I heard Rick sigh before he answered.  “I need to make sure every time I leave the farm all hell doesn’t break loose.”

“Then maybe you should stop leaving.”  Andrea suggested, then walked away.

“Will you keep an eye on things?”  Rick called after her.

“Of course.”  She assured him.  With that said the discussion was over.

Shane got out of the pickup and headed to the VW bug, he drove off to the wood pile to build a perch for the watch to sit on at the windmill.  While Shane did this Rick requested that I take some wood and close up the rafters in the shed where we were keeping Randall.  I agreed, and gathered what I needed, I got a ladder and got up to the roof and started boarding up the rafters so no one could get in, or out.

I could hear Randall in the shed below me as I hammered at the boards, his heavy breathing and pulling on the cuffs, grunting and groaning probably trying to find a way to get free was my guess.  Even if he got those cuffs off though with the front door padlocked and now the rafters boarded up, he wasn’t going anywhere, at least not alone.

I spat the last nail out as I finished, then cleaned up the mess and started to get down off the roof, to head back to the farm house so Rick and I could discuss the plans for dropping off Randall.  I was glad Rick chose me instead of Shane, at least with me the others know it’s getting doing the right way, and Rick will be coming back, I didn’t fully know Shane’s plan but after last time I didn’t trust him, especially around this group which _was_ my family.  Even Maggie, though she was in the dog house at that moment, she was still family.

* * *

 

Confession

Lori's POV

 

I walked outside, after instructing Jimmy where the guys would be sleeping and where to put some of the boxes he was caring, I moved to the back of the truck and pulled out a big, blue and rather heavy closed up container from the truck when T-Dog came outside.  He ran up to me as he’d seen me force the box out of the truck.

“Whoa, don’t—don’t—don’t strain yourself.”  He said as he stopped in front of me and took the handles I’d been holding to carry it instead.

“Thank you.”  I told him softly, he nodded, then turned to get back into the house as I moved to grab something else from the truck.  I looked back at him though and instructed.  “Rick, Carl and I are taking the corner of the living room.”  So he knew where to put the blue plastic box he was caring that had some of our things in it.

T-Dog headed up the porch as Hershel walked from around the house and opened the screen door for him.  “You can put that in my room.”  He informed T-Dog.  I looked at him as he came down the porch steps.  “You’ll be more comfortable there.”

“We can’t do that.”  I told him.

“A pregnant woman and child sleeping on the floor while I’ve got a bed to myself?”  He asked.

“This is still your house.”  Besides, I wouldn’t feel right getting a bed when Glenn wouldn’t be.

“It’s our home.  It’s decided, you, Rick and Carl will get my room because it’s bigger, Daryl and Glenn will be in Maggie’s, Maggie will share with Beth, and I’ll take the couch downstairs.”  T-Dog came back outside then to grab more stuff as Hershel continued.  “On nights when I came home reeking of bourbon, my wife would lock the bedroom door.  I’m sad to say that couch and I become old friends.”

“If you two can’t decide I’ll take it.”  T-Dog teased as he looked at us more than willing to take that bed, he turned and walked back up the porch

“Thank you.”  I told Hershel softly then turned to grab something else, I felt better knowing that Glenn would get a bed after all.

“The couch is mine.”  Hershel called to him.

T-Dog had a pack on his shoulder and another big box in his hands as he looked back at us.  “It’s gonna get real cozy real fast in here.”  He muttered as he opened the screen door and walked back inside.  Hershel grabbed a basket and followed him.

I pulled out a basket myself not nearly as heavy as the box and stopped as I heard hammering.  I looked at the windmill and saw Shane up there hammering at some boards, and for some reason I felt like I needed to talk to him, there was still a lot of tension between us and instead of leaving it alone and letting it go I had to go over there and open my big mouth.

I took the basket in the house, then left walking to the windmill hands in my pockets as the wind was blowing, the leaves were already starting to turn color and the days were getting shorter, fall was approaching fast.

“Wouldn’t that be easier if you waited for some help?”  I asked as I got close enough for him to hear me.

“Ain’t no use waiting for something that ain’t gonna come.  No, I’ll just—just do it all myself.”  He said with nails in his mouth and grunting as he moved one of the boards in position with one hand while he held onto the windmill with the other.

I shaded the sun from my eyes with one hand as I looked up at him.  “Yeah, you always do, just like that time you showed up Rick fixing our sink.”

He laughed at that memory.  “Yeah.”   He took the nails out and laid them on the boards.  “Just so you know, that’s not the reason your basement flooded.  You can thank Rick for that—using rubber washers with a metal pipe.”

“Please come down.”  I asked, I really didn’t want to have this discussion with Shane’s backside, I’d rather speak to his face.  Shane looked at me and saw the seriousness there, he climbed down the built in ladder rungs that he’d used to get up there.  He scratched his head as he walked the few paces to close the distance between us before I started.

“So after Sophia, I—uh—I thought ‘we’ll figure this out.’  You know, we’ll heal somehow.”  I leaned my back against the car as I bushed my hair out of my face as the wind was blowing.  Shane leaned against the car too as I continued.  “After Dale?  This is real.”  I looked at my feet.  “And we can’t…keep it at bay it’s already got us.  And it just keeps coming, doesn’t it?”  I asked.

Shane didn’t say anything so I continued to talk.  “I made a mess of things.  I put you and Rick at odds.”  I looked at Shane, then said the worst thing possible, the thing that really screwed it all up, that drove Shane to go to drastic measures to keep what he believed was his, I said.  “I don’t even know whose baby this is.”

The look Shane gave me, I should’ve stopped right then but I didn’t.  “I can’t imagine how hard that is on you.  You led us out of Atlanta with no thought for yourself.”  I had tears in my eyes as I continued.  “Do you remember that night?  The flames, the—and I’m sitting in your car thinking ‘we’re gonna be all right.  He’s gonna make it all right, we’ll get out of here.’”  I took a deep breath getting my emotions under control as I looked back at Shane.  “And I never thanked you for that.  Even though things got…confused between us, you were there for me.  You were there for me, thank you.”

After all that I said, confessed, he faced me and finally spoke.  “You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“Of course I do.”

“No, you—”

“Of course I do.  Whatever happened between us, whatever the hell we thought it was—and not just you, but—” I paused as I felt tears fall down my cheeks.  “I’m sorry, Shane.   Please believe me, I am so sorry.”  I told him, the thing I came here to say, I’ve said it, so then I turned and walked back to the house, leaving Shane bewildered and confused.

That was really the last thing I ever said to him, the last thing that meant anything, and I just walked away.  I didn’t wonder what he was thinking, what he was planning, or his thoughts on the situation.  I have no idea how he came to the conclusion to try and kill my husband, I was clueless to my own actions when I confessed the truth to him like that.  The worst thing was, from that point on there had been nothing anyone could’ve done to stop his next actions.

* * *

 

Profound

Carl's POV

 

I was sitting in the loft of the barn, my feet dangling over the side looking out at the farm.  I had touched Daryl before going up there, so I could hear the banging from the boards that Jimmy and the others were putting over the windows on the farm house.  I was using Dale’s binoculars though to keep look out, the eye thing kept coming in and out of focus.

I heard dad climbing the ladder, I figured Shane must’ve told him about the walker and gun, which I’d gotten that morning from where I had dropped it when I ran away yesterday.  I felt guilt over Dale’s death believing it was my fault, if I’d killed that walker then Dale would still be alive.

I hadn’t informed them yet that I could borrow people’s abilities yet, I wanted more practice, before they found out what I was up to.

I lowered the binoculars as I felt my dad’s fingers on my shoulder, he sat next to me as he said.  “Mom said you’d be here.”

I sighed.  “Told her I would stand lookout.  I got tired of helping around the house.”  I informed him, Dad pulled out Daryl’s pistol and held out for me.

“Take it.”  I looked at him, then the gun.  “What happened to Dale had nothing to do with you.”

“He—he died, dad.”  I informed him as I looked at him.

“Yeah.”  He said as he nodded.  “Yeah.”  He looked at the gun in his hand.  “Feels like there’s a lot of that going around.”  He put his hand on the back of my neck as he said.  “That’s why I need you.  No more kid stuff.”  I didn’t feel that shock, that static electricity that I’ve been feeling every time someone touched me.  I figured it was because I already had Daryl’s mutation, so that must mean I could only borrow one at a time.  I filed that information away for later.

“I wish you could have the childhood I had, but that’s not gonna happen.  People are gonna die, I’m gonna die.  Mom.”  He moved his hand back to his lap.  “There’s no way you can ever be ready for it.  I try to be, but I can’t.  The best we can do now is avoid it as long as we can, keep one step ahead.”  He paused, I didn’t say anything.  “I wish I had something better to say, something—something more profound.  My father was good like that.  But I’m tired, son.  Please take it.”  He held out the gun for me once more.

I reached up and grabbed the butt of the gun and took it from dad.  He smiled at me as he put his arm around me once more and I leaned into him, he was more profound then he gave himself credit for.

* * *

 

Oh, Hell No.

T-Dog's POV

 

Daryl asked for a gun, told me he couldn’t find his, so I went searching and found Dales gun figured it would work.  Daryl and Rick were about ready to take Randall and drop him off, Glenn and Daryl were standing there not really talking to each other but it was a comfortable silence, Rick walked up, asking if Daryl was ready, he was.  So I told ‘em that I’d get Randall.

I moved my gun from my right hand to my left as I used my right to bang on the door as I called.  “Yo, Randy.”  I moved to grab the padlock as I said.  “Governor called, you’re off the hook.”  I rolled the numbers at the bottom to unlock it.

I placed it on the box next to the door before I opened it, the cuffs were bloody and lying in a heap on the blankets and padding we’d had him sit on this morning for a little more comfort, but as for Randall he was gone.  I took a step inside and looked around but he wasn’t there.  “Oh, hell no.”  I said harshly before I ran out to get the guys, we were in a lot of trouble if Randall was out there and on his way to get his group.

* * *

 

Love vs. Hate

Shane's POV

 

I was gathering wood up near the wood pile not far from the house, I’d left the truck so they could get it unpacked while I took the green VW bug to load up wood to build a perch for whoever’s on watch at the windmill.

“Hey, Shane?”  Carl called not long after I got started.

I turned and looked at him.  “What’s up, man?”  I had a couple of boards in my hands that would workout nicely.  “What you doing wandering around by yourself?”  I asked him as I put the boards in the hatchback with the other pieces.

“If, um—if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell my parents?”  Carl asked.

I looked at him as I wiped my hands together getting the dust from the boards off of them.  “I think it’s probably a bad idea for both of us, bud.”  I informed him.  I bent down to pick up two more boards as he started to walk away.  I sighed and stood up boards in hand as I saw his retreating back.  “Hey, Carl.”  I called, he looked at me.  “Come on back.”

As he walked over I placed the boards in the hatchback and took a seat on the bumper.  Once he was in front of me I said.  “Go on.”  My way of telling him to talk to me about what was on his mind.

He looked around as I crossed my ankles, he pulled out Daryl’s browning BDA, a nice pistol, he held it out to me butt first like he’d been taught.  “I took it from Daryl’s motorcycle.”  He explained as I took it from him.  “If he found out he’d kill me.”

I looked the gun over, cocked it, checked the chamber it all looked fine, I sighed as I looked at him.  “What you doing with this?”

He looked at the ground as he kicked the dirt up with his foot.  “It’s my fault—Dale.  It’s my fault that he died.”

“Carl, why would you say that man?  He got bit by a walker.  Why you say—”

Carl interrupted.  “I saw that walker.”  I was speechless, he continued.  “I was gonna shoot it.”  I rested my arms on my legs as I bent over some and sighed at this news, I didn’t know what to say.  “It was stuck in the mud.  I was—I was throwing rocks at it and stuff.  But I was gonna do it—shoot it right in the head.  And it-it got free, came after me and…I ran away.  If I had killed it, Dale would still be here.”

“Carl, I want you to stop that, okay?”  He looked at me, I looked him in the eye and told him straight.  “This ain’t your fault.  But you need to hold onto this.  You need to protect yourself.”  I held the gun out for him to take.  He didn’t move to take it.  “Now look, as long as I’m around you, nothing’s gonna happen to you, Carl.  But I can’t keep my eyes on you 24/7 only you can do that.  Carl, take it.”

“I’m never touching another gun again.”  He told me.

“No, that ain’t an option Carl, okay?”

“Just give it back to Daryl.”  He called before running off.

I sat there for several minutes, then put the pistol in my jeans before I finished loading up the wood and drove out to the windmill.  I circled it then stopped, turned off the engine and got out, I looked up at the blades that were spinning and making this squeaking noise like it needed to be oiled or something.  I got started on building that perch.

While I was working Lori had shown up to talk, she had informed me that she didn’t know who the baby’s father was, so as far as I knew it could be mine.  After she left I took another pain pill and finished the perch before I got back in the car and headed to the farm house, where Rick and Daryl were discussing where to drop Randall off.

I saw Daryl’s affections towards Glenn while he was talking with Rick as I pulled up and stepped out of the car.  I didn’t like it.  As I walked up Daryl went back into the house and Glenn headed to the camp to get the R.V.  I stopped on the other side of Rick from the porch.  “Hey, man you see Carl lately?”  I asked as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

“He’s inside with his mother.”  Rick informed me.

“Look, he came to me.  Okay, I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but he was out in the swamps yesterday and he came across a walker stuck in the mud.  He got scared, ran off.”

“The same walker that killed Dale?”  Rick asked catching on.

“That’s the one.”

“I’ll have Lori talk to him.”

“Look, I think—I think he wants to talk to his father.”  I informed him.

“Well, I need this Randall thing done already.”

“Man, that needs to wait, okay?”  I asked, I told him about Carl to distract him, I had a plan.  But I needed the time to go through with it, having Rick focus on Carl was the perfect distraction that would buy me time.

Rick sighed.  “It’s my call.”  He was being difficult with this.

“How about I ride out with Daryl?  Be good for us to spend a little time together.”  Which wasn’t a lie, I had been giving Glenn a hard time and Daryl had noticed, Rick hadn’t been blind to my attitude towards them either.

“Nah, I need you here.  You can make it up to them some other way.”  Rick told me, it wasn’t a question, or a suggestion it was an order, that did it, Rick needed to go.

“Don’t think I’ll handle it right, huh?”  I asked deflecting the fact he brought up my overall issue with Daryl and Glenn.

“Didn’t say that.”

“What you say?”  I asked, he didn’t answer, I moved and pulled out Daryl’s gun that Carl had given me as I spoke.  “You know, your son—he gave me this.”  I placed it on the porch railing.  “You should get that back to Daryl, huh?  Freeing that prisoner…”  I chuckled.   “…More important to you than Carl.”  I knew I’d hit a nerve, I turned then and walked away knowing that Rick would talk to Carl, giving me the time to get Randall and my plan into motion.

While Rick went over to talk to Carl, I headed to the shed, I unlocked the padlock and opened the door.  Randall was fighting the cuffs and moaning behind the tape, no idea who had just walked in due to the blindfold over his eyes.

I closed the door behind me then slowly walked around the table there and grabbed the stool off to the side, I set it down, he yelped in fear at the noise it made, then I sat down in front of him.

I put my hands together in front of my mouth as I breathed deeply and watched him, the pain medication barely making a dent.  The pain all started when Rick showed back up, the trouble with Lori started then to, losing Carl, that’s Rick’s fault as well.  If I take out the cause then maybe all the pain and issues will just go away.

My left eye twitched as I watched him for a few moments.  I lowered my head as I rubbed my hands along it as I hissed in pain.  I looked back at him just thinking, deciding on what to do.  I knew what I had to do, for the good of us all.

Finally I came to a decision, I hit myself in the head a few times panting, then I inhaled as I stood up.  Sometimes the pain from hitting myself caused enough endorphins to be released to give me a little relief, it wasn’t permanent though.

I held my pistol above his head, I could kill him right now and then dump his body out there, that wasn’t the plan though.  I heard his cuffs rattle and pushed him over, he screamed in the gag, I looked at his bloody wrists as he’d been trying to work himself free.  That was it, it was time for us to go, and put my real plan into motion.

He moaned as I pushed him back against the wall, not hard enough to do anymore damage but enough to scare him.  I stepped back thinking, I could make it look like he escaped.  That was it, that’s how I’d handle it.

I unlocked his handcuffs and pulled him forward then closed them again to make it look like he slipped ‘em.  I took some rope off one of the hooks and tied his hands in front of him then opened the door and pushed him outside.  My one mistake there was not knowing that Daryl had boarded up the rafters earlier that day, so I foolishly locked the shed back up before forcing Randall into the woods, putting enough distance between us and Daryl’s hearing.

I continued to push him forward as we walked, he was moaning and groaning in pain as he limped along.  “Shh!  Go that way.”  I said as I directed him where I wanted him to go in.  He moved off to the side, I grabbed his arm.  “Go on, go on.”  He tripped and fell, I released his arm as he did so.

I knelt down in front of him as I pulled on his shirt to get him sitting, then I slowly took off the blind fold while shushing him, that way he’d stop stumbling all over the place and slow me down.  Once he saw my face he tried to pull away, I pulled him back being careful with my strength at the moment.  “Shh, shh, hey, hey.  Come on, come on.”  I said keeping my voice low, calm and soothing.

He whimpered as I put my hands in his hair to hold him still.  “I get it, I’m the last face you probably want to see, huh?”  I asked, I knew the answer, I tried to kill him a couple of days ago, he didn’t want anything to do with me.  “Listen, I’m gonna take you up out of here, okay?  I’m gonna get this off of you so you can breathe, but I want you to keep quiet.”  I told him speaking of the tape over his mouth.

“You listen good, do you hear me?”  I asked he nodded and made mm-hmm noises behind the tape.  “Okay.  Don’t do nothing stupid.”  I suggested as I took off the tape, he groaned and I covered his mouth with my hand.  “Hey, hey, keep it quiet.”  He nodded so I took my hands away from him as I crumpled the tape and dropped it on the ground.  “Now your group—you know where they’re at?”  I asked.

“No, I don’t.  I really—” I smacked him lightly on the head, just hard enough to get his attention.  “Oh!”  He jerked to the side in reflex to get away from the pain.

“Okay.  Get your little ass up here, now I’m the only shot of getting out of these woods alive you hear me?”  I asked him as I pulled him closer putting my hand on the back of his neck in warning, I had his attention.  “Now you start talking, boy, where are they at?”  I asked once more.

“We had a camp set up off the highway…about five miles from here.”

“Shh.  Okay.”  He was rushing and panicking, so I backed up a little and showed my hands unarmed to calm him down.

“Who knows if they’re still there?”

“Okay, so you gonna take me to ‘em?”  I asked.

“Why?”

“Because, man, I—” I ran my hand across my head.  “I’m just—I’m done with this group, man.  They doomed and I want no part of it.  That’s all.”  I told him, it was a straight up lie, his escape was my ticket to getting Rick on his own.

“So you’re not gonna kill me?”  Randall asked.

“Come on, man if I was, you’d be dead.   Come on.”  I stood then and grabbed his arm getting him back to his feet, I pushed him forward again.

“Hey, you ain’t gotta be so rough.  We’re on the same side now.”  He said as I pulled out my gun, he continued to talk as he limped along.  “You’re gonna like it with us.  Gets a little crazy sometimes, but it’s a tough bunch of guys.  You’ll fit in good.”  He was clueless to what was coming, that I had no intention to join his men, that he’d never see tomorrow.

I turned around as I walked backward a few paces checking our surroundings to make sure my next actions would go unobserved.  “Less talking, more walking.”  I told him, before I turned back around.

“Look, I run my mouth when I get nervous.  I can’t help it.  I got a lot going on, you know?”

“It ain’t all about you.”  I informed him knowing what needed to be done to get rid of the problem, both him and Rick.

“I—I ain’t saying it’s about me.”  I looked around once more before I made my move.  “Just trying to—” He never finished that sentence as I forced him to his knees and snapped his neck as he screamed in pain before he died, then I let him drop with a thud on the ground.

It had been easy, and with my strength, even easier.  I walked several feet away from him, I knew they’d never believe my story if I didn’t look a little more beat up, so I saw a nice big tree right next to where I’d just killed Randall.  It would be perfect, I walked over and rammed my face against it, I grunted at the pain, then slipped down to the ground as I laid in the leaves for a few minutes.

My noise was now bleeding from where it’d hit the tree.  I laid back as I panted from the effort of breaking it, it was mostly the skin that broke though.  I forced myself back to my feet and headed to the farm.  I got there not long after they found Randall missing, they were at the shed, Rick and Andrea were inside while the others were around it trying to figure out what had happened.

I stood from the edge of the woods hidden by the trees as I watched, my gun in my hand pressed against my side.  Daryl didn’t know I was there, I figured the confusion and commotion going on around him was masking me form his senses.

I watched as Rick came out of the shed informing them that Randall slipped his cuffs, just like I planned.  Andrea followed him a second later and Hershel closed the door back up as they continued to talk, I bent close to the ground trying to figure out what story I was going to spin.  I saw a pile of leaves nearby and placed my gun there making sure it was covered up.  I took a moment to gather myself, I breathed in, then standing I shouted for my so called best friend as I came out of the woods.

I told them my story, Randall knocked me out, took my gun and escaped into the woods, Rick had T-Dog and Hershel get most of the group back to the house, except for Glenn and Daryl, then the four of us went into the woods.  We ended up splitting off just like I wanted, Glenn and Daryl went one way, Rick and I went another.

Along the way he figured out the truth, knew I had lied, knew it was a trap.  I told him why I was doing this, that night standing in the middle of the field I thought I had him.  I wanted to prove I was the better and stronger man, it tore my muscles apart trying to kill him, until Carl showed up and tried to stop me.  Kid took my strength, stole it from me, and as he was crying out in pain Rick killed me, told me that he could and would do anything for his family and in that instant before I died, I believed him.

The worst part about this whole situation was that I loved him like a brother, and somewhere along the way, that love, turned to hate, and I don’t why, or how it got so bad between us.  At some point I wanted my brother dead, and he ended up killing me instead.

Just so happened, I loved Lori more, I wanted her, and that baby, _my story_ was…love vs. hate, the hatred won, and in the end neither of us survived that night.  The man I had known, grew up with, that Rick was gone after he killed me.


	13. Missing Scenes for Beside the Dying Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the missing scenes for season two, I hope everyone enjoys the end of this story. I will be adding the next story of the series now that I've finished this one, so keep an eye out it'll be called Seven Months, not original but it defiantly let's you know what it's about.

Attack on the Farm Lori’s POV

 

While the others: Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea, T-Dog and Jimmy took the cars to lead the walkers away, Patricia, Beth, Carol and I were in the house.  I was upstairs looking for my son Carl who’d gone missing, Carol was downstairs looking as well, Beth was looking out the window at her dad while Patricia was helping Carol.

I started coming back to the stairs when I heard Beth. “The barn’s on fire.”  She told Patricia, who moved closer to look out the window herself, through the slots of the boards Jimmy had put up earlier that day.

“They’re headed for it.  Maybe Rick set it to draw ‘em in.”  Patricia suggested, right before I came downstairs in a hurry.

“I can’t find him anywhere.”  I said panicked.

“So maybe he snuck outside.”  Carol suggested as she came in the front room from the kitchen.

“What do I do?!”  I asked shouting in fear.

“He was here.  He must’ve run off, maybe looking for Rick or went after Randall himself.”  Carol said.

“Maybe he set the fire.”  Patricia told us.  Have you ever seen fear on a mothers face when her child is missing or in danger, if you have then you know exactly how I looked in that moment.  I went out back to check the shed, he ran back towards the house when he wasn’t there.  Carol and I headed out the front door.

Hershel was around the side on the ground shooting at the walkers and yelling at them to come and get him as he continued to fire at the herd.  “I checked the shed I can’t find him anywhere.”  I told her.

“Not in the cellar or the attic.”  Carol informed me, which is where she had looked when I went to the shed.

“Why can’t he listen or once?”  I asked, we walked to the end of the porch while I spoke, I gestured out to the pasture.  “Okay, okay if he followed his daddy, he went that way.”

“No, you’ll lead ‘em right to him we can’t stay here!”  Carol screamed at me over the noise of Hershel’s shootin’ and the fire blazin’ and the guys drivin’, she grabbed my arms to pull me away from the porch railing.

“That’s my boy!”  I cried out.

“You’re gonna have to trust.  If we find him, he’s gonna need his mother we’ve gotta go.”  Carol told me, she was right of course.

“Get the others.”  I told her, Carol turned and ran back into the house for Patricia and Beth.  I walked to the porch railing and screamed with all my might.  “CARL!”

“Beth, Patricia, come on we’ve gotta go now.”  I heard Carol from the front door as she was getting them outside.

I pulled my small pistol out of my pants and aimed as I started to fire at the walkers, trying to keep them at bay so we could get away.

“Lori.”  Carol called, I looked at her and the other two, I saw Beth’s face she looked so scared.  I put my gun away as I bent down and grabbed the gun bag where it’d been left after Andrea had gotten everyone armed.

“Hershel.”  I called, he continued to shoot into the crowed of dead headed for us.  “Hershel.”  I called again still no response.  I grabbed the post and leaned over the railing as I screamed.  “Hershel!”  I looked back at the girls and then to Hershel who was oblivious of us.  “Hershel, it’s time to go!” I tried again.  “Come on, now!”  Still nothing as he fired more shots at the walkers.

“Hershel!  Hershel!”  Finally I had to give up, I turned and ran to the others.  “We gotta go, we gotta get out of here.”  I told ‘em as I herded them around to the stairs off the porch.

“Stay behind me, stay behind me.”  I told Beth and Patricia, Carol ran ahead of us, I had the bag slung over my shoulder, so I pulled out my gun and started firing at the walkers I could see as we got off the porch and headed for the van.

“Come on, girls, come on.”  I said softly as I sprinted forward with Beth and Patricia right behind me, Beth had a hold of Patricia’s hand as they ran.

I turned around as I heard a scream, I saw a walker with its arms around Patricia, Beth screamed as she held her hand trying to pull her away.  Two more walkers came up to her and all three started to bite into her as she screamed.  Suddenly the pain calmed from Patricia’s face as Beth screamed in agony instead, her way of saying goodbye was taking Patricia’s pain as she was being eaten.  I ran up to Beth, I dropped the gun bag as I grabbed her other hand and wrapped one arm around her waist as she held on as long as possible.

There was nothing more either of us could do for Patricia, I finally managed to get Beth to let go of her hand, Beth cried out in pure anguish, then I turned her towards the car as more walkers swarmed Patricia who started crying out in pain and fear again.

I looked around and saw a shadow of Carol at the shed as walkers were following her, there was nothing I could do.  Suddenly T-Dog and Andrea in the blue truck drove up.  Andrea jumped out as she said.  “Get in!”

“Dad!”  Beth screamed.

“Get Carol—she ran that way.”  I said as I pointed.  I pushed Beth into the truck first then followed while Andrea headed towards the shed for Carol.

We watched from the truck as Andrea shot the walkers in front of Carol, then one came up right behind her, we heard Carol scream a warning, Andrea spun around.  The gun went off just as it appeared the walker grabbed her pushing her to the ground.  “They got her!  We gotta go!”  I screamed.

T-Dog didn’t move.  “Dog, come on!”  I shouted, he faced forward and revived the engine for a moment then sped off, getting us the hell off that farm.  I didn’t know if Rick or Carl was alive, or Beth’s sister and dad, Carol, Glenn or Daryl.  We lost it all that night, our safety, our security, just me and my baby, Beth and T-Dog.  We had to get back to the highway, if Rick and Carl were alive that’s where they’d go.

As the sun came up, I realized we were going in the wrong direction of the highway.  I held Beth close to my side, my arm wrapped around her as her tears dried up and she just laid there.  “Hey, we gotta turn around.”  I finally told T-Dog.

“Straight back to that heard?”  T-Dog asked.  “Um, no.”

“The highways back there that’s where they’ll be.  Rick will go back to where we first broke down and Glenn too.”  I told him.

“We’re headed east, get to the coast.  We should’ve done that from the jump.”  T-Dog informed me.  “Look, we’ve got a shot to get out of here in one piece.”

“I gotta find Carl.  He may have escaped with somebody.”

“I hate to say it, but they’re on their own.  There’s no way to even begin to start looking.”

“You’re wrong.”  I cried.

“Look, we can’t go back.  I’m sorry, it’s suicide.”  Beth moved and looked at T-Dog.

“All right, then let me out.”  I moved my arm from around Beth and grabbed the door handle as I opened it, I would’ve jumped, for my husband and son I would’ve risked that to get back to them.

“Hey! Hey! Whoa!”  T-Dog screamed as he hit the brake, the tires screeched as the truck stopped.

I looked back at him.  “Then turn around, or you let us out right now.”  I told him, leaving no room for negotiations, T-Dog had two choices and those were it.

“I should do it you know.”  T-Dog shouted in anger.  I moved to get out again.  “Okay?!”  He shouted, I looked at him as he rested back against the seat his hands on the wheel as he sighed.

“T-Dog.”  I begged.  Beth was looked at him her eyes pleading to go back and find her family.

“You’re out of your damn minds.”  T-Dog relented.  I closed the door, he pushed the gas and turned us around before heading back to the highway.

It was a good sign when we rounded a bend in the road and saw the VW bug right in front of us, ahead they were being led by none other than Daryl, as they too were headed back to the highway, we got in line behind ‘em and followed all the way there.  Rick, Carl and Hershel were waiting for us, it was a good reunion after the horrible night we just had, though it didn’t last long.

I hated that Rick killed Shane, I loved Shane, I loved Rick, my reaction ruined our relationship, and there was nothing I could do to ever make that right, the attack on the farm destroyed everything in my life.

* * *

 

Attack on the Farm Andrea’s POV

 

After everyone gathered the guns to take out the walkers on the farm we headed for the vehicles to lead what we couldn’t kill away.  Daryl took his bike, Jimmy got in the R.V., Glenn and Maggie in the VW bug, while T-Dog and I got in the blue truck.  T-Dog drove as I stuck my pistol out the window and shot just like Shane taught me.

T-Dog drove the fence line between us and the barn just like Maggie and Daryl were doing, as I shot at the walkers, then when he got to the end he turned to circle around the other way.

We passed up Maggie and Glenn several times as we continued to circle around shooting walkers the best we could, getting their attention from the house, but the real problem was that it felt endless.  I looked at T-Dog.  “They’re all over the place there’s no corralling them.  We’re gonna run out of ammo before we even make a dent.”  I told him.

“We need a new game plan.”  T-Dog said, he drove over a few walkers before he could turn it around back towards the house, we needed to get our people and just leave.  There was nothing more we could do here.

We got to the house just in time to pick up Lori and Beth, I hopped out of the truck and told them to get in, Lori told me which way Carol ran off, I started shooting as I headed that direction to get her, while Lori and Beth got into the truck.

I shot a few walkers before running around the truck, T-Dog called me back to get in but I had to get Carol first.  I saw two walkers right in front of her, I aimed and shot each one down.  I didn’t notice the walker coming up right behind me.

“Look out!”  Carol screamed as she plastered herself to the shed.  I spun and aimed as he was about to grab me, I fired and it fell right on me knocking me to the ground.  I pushed the walker off of me after a minute to catch my breath, then grabbed my gun where it’d fallen into the leaves beside me before I stood back up.

I looked behind me but I didn’t see Carol, and the truck was gone, I ran around keeping a good distance from the walkers as I made my way back to the house.  I saw Rick, Carl and Hershel get into the van and start driving away.  I tried to get his attention.  “Rick!  Rick!  Wait!”  I screamed, waved my arms but walkers were already behind the van and he was too far away to hear me.

I shot more walkers as they turned towards me, I was slowly backing up as they were following, I was screwed, that had been the last vehicle, I didn’t know if Daryl was around, I was on my own.  I turned and started to run but stopped as I saw the bag of guns someone had dropped, I bent down and picked it up slinging it on my shoulder, I looked back at the walkers as I shot two more down then started running for the woods behind the house.

I ran the rest of the night, as the sun came up, I was still being followed by several walkers, I was running out of steam.  My legs were burning and it was hard to breath, but I couldn’t stop, the moment I did, it’d be all over.

I did slow down behind a tree a fair distance ahead of them, I took off the gun bag and set it down.  I crouched there as I checked the clip in my gun, it was empty, I put the clip back in.  I heard the growling as I put the pistol in my shoulder holster, then opened the gun bag.

I grabbed the ammo box and looked in, there was about five, I dumped ‘em in my hand stuffed ‘em in my pocket as I looked back to see how close the walkers were.  I was also using this moment to catch my breath.  I checked the other pistol in the bag it too was empty.  “Damn it.”  I muttered as I stuffed it back in the bag.

I looked back as one of the walkers got closer, I moved back around the tree as it saw me, it growled just as I grabbed the bag of its neck and beat its head against the tree trunk.  Then I tossed it to the ground and kicked it a couple of times before it stopped moving.  I grunted and panted as I wiped the back of my arm across my forehead.

I grabbed the bag again as the rest of the walkers that were following me were catching up.  I started running again in a different direction, I was lost, I had no idea which way was the highway, no way of knowing who all made it, or if they’d even wait.  I just had to keep going because I knew I was on my own.

I reloaded the ammo I’d put in my pocket in my pistol as I ran, then turned and fired at the closet walkers.  There were more in front of me now, I fired at them as well to clear a path, but soon the ammo was gone and I was on my own with nothing.  “Oh shit.”  I muttered as I dropped the gun at my side and full out ran, the adrenaline and desperation giving me my second wind.

I didn’t know how I kept going, but somehow I managed to make it to sunset.  It was getting dark, and I was finally out of steam, one of the walkers growled as it came up to me, I dropped the bag and looked at it.  I held my pistol by the barrel, then used to the butt to hit it, knocking it to the ground.  I hit it three more times, its skull busted open, I straightened up and looked at the other two, that were still following me, I had managed to either kill the other walkers or out run them.

I put the pistol in my pocket and pulled my pocket knife out instead, I flicked it open as I started walking again, my legs were on fire, I was sore, tired and hungry, I just wanted to stop.  I turned and thrust the blade of my knife into the walkers noise hitting its cranium, I followed it down as it fell.  I moved to stand back up but my foot got caught on the walkers leg and I fell with a grunt.

My knife fell somewhere in the leaves, I turned and backed away from the last walker, but I knew this was it, I was done for.  It got to its knees next to me and grabbed at me, I screamed as I tried to kick it away, keep it from grabbing me.  Suddenly just as it grabbed at my arm a blade went across its neck, the head falling off as the body collapsed to the leaves on the ground.  I looked up and saw a person in a brown hood, the blade, a Katina was flicked tossing the blood on the ground.

I couldn’t tell if it was a man or woman, but whoever they were, they just saved my life, they also had two armless, jawless walkers behind ‘em, led on chains.  I looked up as he/she/it walked up to me, put the Katina away and held out their hand to help me up.  I couldn’t see their face all that well, but I took the hand offered and got to my feet.

Then he/she/it pushed the hood down and I realized it was a woman, she had long black hair styled in dreadlocks, brown fierce eyes, and skin the color of rich chocolate.  She was intriguing, stunning, and mysterious.

As night fell she started a fire, hooked her walkers to a tree and found some squeals to cook.  “Andrea, what’s your name?”  I introduced myself.

“Michonne.”

First thing I learned about Michonne, she wasn’t much of a talker.  The rest of that night was in silence, I had no home, no friends, I was too tired to walk the next day, but I did have a woman who protected me as I rested and healed up.  Someone I could one day call a friend, I wasn’t alone, she didn’t talk a whole lot, so I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the end of the missing scenes, I hope you enjoyed it, reviews and kudos always welcome.


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